Reporting Live....

Right now I am in a new room.  With the view outside of the window being the old building I was just transferred from.  I realize that those sentences do not make sense but I could not find the irony of staring at the building I just was in for three days.

In this new room, I have a roommate who has a ton of visitors at the current time.  I have mom, dad and Chris crowded by the wall, I feel kind of bad about it.  Chris is sitting on the floor trying to get comfortable but he's so big that it's difficult for him to fit in this area.  I don't know how I will be able to do this whole roommate thing, but I'm hoping I will be out of here by tomorrow night.

Dr. I is going to do the procedure tomorrow at three which means I will be worrying until then.  Supposedly the drugs are the best things in the world, but it still makes me uneasy.  I guess I will finally have my answers though which is what I have to keep reminding myself.  I'm still on the clear liquid diet, but he discouraged me to have the watermelon Italian ice so it looks as if it will be chicken broth for me.

I'm also going to be getting an ultrasound sometime tonight to make sure the blood clot has not changed at all.  The plus about the ultrasound though is I know what to expect, the other procedure, not so much.

OH!! One of the best things since this morning is I am able to walk about, Dr. I actually encouraged it.  However, he told me the bad news that I will have to get the belly shots again to pick up my INR numbers which I do not look forward to at all.  But that's a small price to pay to get out to Washington this summer.  And most importantly be able to eat whatever I want.

Hey Hey Hey Goodbye

As many of you know from either my facebook or an email from my mom, HENRY IS DISAPPEARING!!!

The doctor told me yesterday that the blood clot has gotten much smaller and it's almost gone.  He wants me to continue with the Warfarin until after my trip to Washington in July.  Originally he said I could be done with it in June, but when I mentioned the trip he said stay on it till after I got home.  He said I didn't need to do blood work every week anymore but every two weeks.

And he also told me to just live my life.  At this point in the appointment I started to cry.  Huge surprise right?  He told me to let it out and stressed the fact that I needed to live my life and not worry about Henry anymore, that stressing is not going to help anything.

I did tell him how difficult it was to deal with Dr. P telling me every week that my INR levels continue to decline and that it was somehow my fault.  He proceeded to tell me that I do not need to worry about my INR levels, that they change throughout the day and that if it was between 1.5 and 2.5 then it was fine.

What's the most frustrating thing about the whole thing is getting two different stories from the different doctors.  But I'm going to trust the experts.  And that means I don't have to worry about Henry anymore, and I can even enjoy a glass of wine (his words not mine).

I cried once again outside and my dad told me I have to start to trust some doctors.  I think he understands why I don't because it's been different stories for four months, but after four months I finally am told good news.  That the freaking clot is almost gone!  And it's finally sinking in that four months to the day I have finally reached the point I never thought I was going to.

So July be expecting a fiesta of epic proportions to celebrate, if that's okay with the parentals.  But I need some celebrating the fact that Henry is GONEEE.  And sorry to say this Henry, but I won't really miss you.

Crossing Fingers and Toes

Today marks another ultrasound for this little girl.  I'm especially nervous about this one.  Not because I don't know what to expect, because I do, but because Henry has been acting a bit strange the past week and a half and I am hoping to get some answers today.

My leg has started to get a little bigger than it has been.  My leg could be swollen because I really have not been resting it or elevating it when I get home.  But it's not just that it's swollen.  There almost seems to be a pulse in my leg where I can almost feel the blood going through.  Or maybe that's not the right explanation.  There are small waves of uncomfortableness, or pain that goes through sometimes that I don't quite know why it's doing that. 

So today we find out what is going on.  I find out if I'm stopping the blood thinners.  I find out what the next step is.  I find out if my bike riding has caused more harm then good.  I find out if Henry has grown or shrunk.  My hope is for the latter. And after an emotional draining doctor's visit, I get to go into work and work with people that will be able to cheer me up.  Nice to look forward to you know?

Smiling But We're Close to Tears

The past few days have sucked.  To put it mildly.  I'm sorry I can't put it in better words but I am brutally honest and that's the hard truth.

Yesterday I found out that once again my INR levels are dropping.  I feel like it's the stock market, and nothing I do can stop these stupid INR levels to drop.  I'm at the highest level of my Warfarin ever and yet the stupid blood work is not giving me the results I need.

Dr. P wants me to see the Dr. C to determine when I can get off the Warfarin because I have "been on it for four months".  I informed her that I was going next Monday and she said that should be fine to wait.  I told her that my leg has become somewhat hard which it had not been and that it has been hurting. She told me waiting Monday should be okay.

I cried after getting off the phone with Dr. P.  I cried (almost) at Pop's.  I cried when I came home from work.  Basically I have been in the worst mood ever, that even shopping didn't turn, and have been a hot mess ever since Saturday.  Or at least that's when I have come to terms this whole funk has occurred. 


It's become very difficult to be positive when nothing is going right.  I am basically following everything they tell me to do and yet I get opposite results.  The weeks that I was at the INR therapeutic levels?  I had had a beer the night I would go out AND had a huge salad.  Now I'm not doing either and it just keeps crashing.  I'm just waiting for the whole thing to burn and for me to once again not be able to move because they can't figure this thing out.  That's the point I have gotten to now.  I'm expecting that I will never be fixed.


I was talking to the pharmacist at work last night about Warfarin.  She told me that people normally go on 5 mg and become therapeutic and it's rare for a person to go to 10.  To go over 10 mg is nearly unheard of.  Well guess who is over ten? This girl.  She laughed and said you would think I was a 300 pound man or something with the levels that I am already on.


Maybe I really do need to see and talk to someone because right now I don't want to be around people where I have to pretend that everything is wonderful but at the same time I want to be around people.  The time I almost forget about everything is when I'm at work and super busy that I don't have to think about it.  That and the fact that there are always so many people around that it just makes my mind go blank.  It's great.  But maybe I really do need someone to sort out everything up there.  I just don't know anymore.


Up next:  Monday I get the dreaded ultrasound.  Which will tell me if this thing has grown or not.  I almost feel like it has because it's becoming more obvious that it's there but who knows.

Three Leg Ultra Sounds in Two Months. Winning

As I was laying on the table waiting for my ultra sound to start yesterday, I wondered how many ultra sounds a pregnant woman normally goes through during the nine months.  I'm lucky enough to have you readers know I am in fact not pregnant or anywhere close to it but has been "winning" since the end of December with ultra sounds for my legs.  Yesterday was no exception....we went up to Goose Lane to get one done and I was taken in right away.

Only one problem with yesterday.  They didn't seem to understand why I was there.  The tech asked me why I was there and I told her the ultra sound was for a follow up for a blood clot in my left leg, to which she asked if I was on blood thinners and I gave my answer.  She then said she would be right back and as I was sitting there, I almost started to cry.  Like little tears came out of my eyes because I was so upset.  I don't understand why there does not seem to be any communication whenever I go to doctors or why the one I did not like at the beginning is the one I actually enjoy seeing now because I get answers.

Anyway, the ultra sound which the lady told me was only going to take about ten minutes actually took closer to half hour.  They not only looked at my legs but they did a quick little look at my lower stomach area.  The ultra sound is not scary at all, except when they turn the sound up or when they squeeze my leg.  But the sound makes me scared because I don't know if it's a good or bad thing and they don't tell you either.  When you are pregnant you can hear your kids heart beat, when you have a blood clot it's all white noise which is not refreshing.

After she finished, she went up to the radiologist I believe to just double check if she should get more pictures.  Unfortunately at that time, I did not get any answers about the size of the blood clot or if it's gotten bigger or smaller.  I just left the place and went home.  On the drive home though I called my blood clot doctor.  I told them I had had a visit with the primary doctor and they told me yes, we spoke to her earlier.  I said how I just had an ultra sound which they questioned why that happened and why it didn't occur at their office.  That part may have been my fault because I'm naive and though that my primary doctor knew that I had had a ultra sound at the blood clot docs office.  But I guess they didn't and I guess the phone call between the primary and blood clot doctors did not share information like I thought they would have been.

Oh, I could have totally brought my book to read even though when I asked she said it was going to take 10 minutes.  I'm sorry but I was waiting twenty minutes in the light after the ultra sound bored out of my mind.

It's becoming very frustrating believing that my doctors are not talking to one another or that they are but they are not listening to what each other, or even we have to tell them.  To have people not know what's going on in this team I'm suppose to have to get me better is very draining.  I have started to become snippy with my parents because I'm annoyed with what happened yesterday.  It was all a huge headache from the run around.  I'm not okay with the performance from the doctors at all.

After all that craziness, I got to go to the mall with Mom and see Kate and Emily at Borders!  Seriously it was the best surprise ever just looking over and seeing Kate standing there then surprising Em in line.  And we made tentative plans for later in the week.  Seeing my second family next week? Most amazing plans I have had in a while.

Off to get ready for a wonderful night at work.  I'm ready to go to sleep.  This is not gonna be a good thing.

Why You Wanna Give Me a Run Around

Today, I went to see my lovely primary doctor.  Now I use the word lovely loosely.  She wanted this appointment because she "hadn't seen me in a while" which in real terms means the first visit I had with her after I went to the hospital.  She had told me back at that appointment I would get sick of seeing her but at the same time I had not seen her since the end of December.  Hmmm.....that's a wonderful start to the visit.

Anyway, I went to the appointment today and she told me that my INR is basically at a stalemate which has brought concern to her as well as the doctor that is treating my blood clot.  I am taking high doses of Warfarin which is not good to be taking so she told me that they are trying to figure out why my INR is the level it's at without budging even though they had increased my Warfarin level.  She then begins to ask me about my diet and if I was having tons of green vegetables, which I told her I had been having small salads but she had told me that was not an issue.  She asks if I have been having caffeine, which I told her not really because I was told water is the best thing so I have been drinking a lot of water.  She then asked if they had given me of a list of stuff I shouldn't be eating.  I told her no, I mean two months after the fact I haven't really been worried because she told me that I did not need to worry about it.

Thanks for the change of thinking after all this time.

Not only did she ask about my diet but then I was rambling about various things, about how I have not felt better since before this whole thing started ever since I started taking the steroids, which she then looked at me and goes that's it.  Mind you, my father discussed with my primary doctor about the medicine that my inside doctor, who is the ONLY one doing good to me, prescribed to me.  She KNEW about the steroids and yet this was like some huge new news to her.  But the doctor told me that the steroids are probably the reason my INR levels have not changed.  

I thought that she seemed so out of it as weird but I didn't really question it because she is my doctor and I thought she would know what she was talking about. My dad and I have kept her in the loop, my dad told her that she needs to be our go to person that was our contact between the other doctors.  And from what we understood she was going to be that person.  Boy were we wrong.

Today I get to go for another ultra sound on my leg which I am hoping beyond hope tells me that my blood clot is getting smaller. According to my primary doctor, the long trip is the cause of my blood clot which is crazy because the hospital and everyone else told us that was not the reason at all.  The travel during Thanksgiving was ruled out.  But she said that if I were to go on any more long trips then I would need to move around a lot more because I can't do more long trips.  I mentioned my trip to Washington and she told me about the ultrasound today, in a few hours.  Not only that but she told me by the end of the month they wanted me off the Warfarin.   Funny to think I'm going off it so soon because I was told I was going to be on that for a year.  Not that I'm complaining.  Blood thinners suck.  But I guess by the end of March I will no longer have to take it which I guess means they think the blood clot is growing smaller.  Who knows though.

I will give updates on how the ultra sound goes today.  Plus I had a funny post idea before the doctor but I don't feel like writing about it now.  That little jem will be presented when I get back from the doctor.  Till then