Growing older is a funny thing. When I was younger, I only worried about myself. My own pain. My own happiness. My own fun. I was the center of the universe and everyone should be at my beck and call to make me happy.
As I got older, I realized that I had to start depending on myself and not expect others to worry about how to entertain me whenever I need them to. But it's not only that. I realized how much I worry about other people and how other's happiness affects my own.
This year has been a great learning experience for me. While I was wallowing, I was also worried about how my terrible mood was affecting my family, even though it may not have seemed like it at the time. I held a lot in during this whole thing because I didn't want to worry my family. Hence, my hospitalization in April. But not only that, I didn't want them to worry about me when I was stuck home and they had to go to work.
Same goes for my friends. I didn't want to ruin their breaks or weekends with my sob stories about how I couldn't move or how painful the freaking clot was. I never asked for anyone to come over because I didn't want them to be pulled down due to my misfortune.
At 24 I realized that I am not the center of the universe, and that when other people, my friends, my family and even extended circle is hurt, it makes me really upset. My mood is affected by those who I care about. My "inner" circle? I never want them to be in pain. I always want them to be happy and with smiles on their faces.
And let me tell you, I understand how difficult it was for my parents this year to see me with the clot and the stomach thing. Because no matter what, they wanted to see me smile. And now all I want is to make those around me smile as well.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Diaries from a Power-less Girl Part 1
I had written the following while power was out during the hurricane. I'm finally getting around to posting these here....
Generators.
They are a life saver for hospitals and homes that take care of the elderly. Of government buildings (at least I assume this) so our officials can make informed decisions. And for homes that are destroyed by storms, say like Hurricane Irene.
But my goodness, they are so effin loud.
And sometimes a method of showing off.
Does a generator need to be on all day for you? Absolutely not. Should it be on until ten o'clock to light your driveway on a pitch black street? Probably not.
So this post is basically based off jealousy. But this storm has brought an early civilization feel that is completely killed when a generator is heard though out the whole neighborhood.
Would it be nice for you to offer the neighbors anything if needed? Yes. My boyfriend's family has basically opened their house to me, and my family, even if I'm the only one to take the offer. But if all I had to do was walk a small distance to a noisy house for a shower, or even a community meal, I wouldn't complain.
More ramblings from a power-less girl to follow....
Generators.
They are a life saver for hospitals and homes that take care of the elderly. Of government buildings (at least I assume this) so our officials can make informed decisions. And for homes that are destroyed by storms, say like Hurricane Irene.
But my goodness, they are so effin loud.
And sometimes a method of showing off.
Does a generator need to be on all day for you? Absolutely not. Should it be on until ten o'clock to light your driveway on a pitch black street? Probably not.
So this post is basically based off jealousy. But this storm has brought an early civilization feel that is completely killed when a generator is heard though out the whole neighborhood.
Would it be nice for you to offer the neighbors anything if needed? Yes. My boyfriend's family has basically opened their house to me, and my family, even if I'm the only one to take the offer. But if all I had to do was walk a small distance to a noisy house for a shower, or even a community meal, I wouldn't complain.
More ramblings from a power-less girl to follow....
Come on Irene
I had written the following while power was out during the hurricane. I'm finally getting around to posting these here....
8/30/11
Boy there is something to be said for 2011. Everyone always said 2012 was the year the world would end, but I gotta question if this is really the case. 2011 has had some crazy storms, never ending days of rain, an earthquake which I'm still not sure happened (okay okay I know it did) and now a hurricane which has left a wave of destruction on the East coast. And my family has been without power and water for 48+ hours and counting.
I am currently writing this is the depth of the power outage on my back porch, enjoying a cocktail before it spoils. Yes, that's right, without power a butt load of beer is going to be tossed because of Irene. I feel as if that's tragedy enough.
I must count my blessings though, family and friends are all safe and apart from a tree destroying Nana's deck, there is no real bad damage. Heather and I are still roughing it....no power since Sunday morning. I had my first shower since before power went off earlier today. Can I just tell you how amazing that is? Just imagine having no running water to even flush a toilet and you will know how I have been living. Well water means we need electricity for water to get into out house.
I volunteer to go into work for the plumbing and to charge my phone. I wish I was joking.
I don't know when we will get power back or why it's been down. Tom said a tree is down across the road, but I haven't been that way yet.
Coming home in pitch black is terrifying, let me tell you. The stars are beautiful, don't get me wrong, but the sound of generators are sort of a buzz kill.
More on that topic later....
But like I said, I'm glad there is no significant damage to my loved ones. I'm just crossing my fingers for power to be restored. And I do not need internet and cable at the moment, just running water would be nice.
8/30/11
Boy there is something to be said for 2011. Everyone always said 2012 was the year the world would end, but I gotta question if this is really the case. 2011 has had some crazy storms, never ending days of rain, an earthquake which I'm still not sure happened (okay okay I know it did) and now a hurricane which has left a wave of destruction on the East coast. And my family has been without power and water for 48+ hours and counting.
I am currently writing this is the depth of the power outage on my back porch, enjoying a cocktail before it spoils. Yes, that's right, without power a butt load of beer is going to be tossed because of Irene. I feel as if that's tragedy enough.
I must count my blessings though, family and friends are all safe and apart from a tree destroying Nana's deck, there is no real bad damage. Heather and I are still roughing it....no power since Sunday morning. I had my first shower since before power went off earlier today. Can I just tell you how amazing that is? Just imagine having no running water to even flush a toilet and you will know how I have been living. Well water means we need electricity for water to get into out house.
I volunteer to go into work for the plumbing and to charge my phone. I wish I was joking.
I don't know when we will get power back or why it's been down. Tom said a tree is down across the road, but I haven't been that way yet.
Coming home in pitch black is terrifying, let me tell you. The stars are beautiful, don't get me wrong, but the sound of generators are sort of a buzz kill.
More on that topic later....
But like I said, I'm glad there is no significant damage to my loved ones. I'm just crossing my fingers for power to be restored. And I do not need internet and cable at the moment, just running water would be nice.
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