Cause it Led Me Straight to This

Have you ever wondered how you have gotten to certain places in your life?  Like how things can change one hundred percent because of some decision  you made?

Last night I was talking about this with someone, how if they had made different decisions and if things had worked out the way he was imagining, then life would be completely different now.  This idea is very similar to one of my favorite songs by Darius Rucker.  It's called This and I highly recommend listening to it.


Anyway, this year has, to put it lightly, sucked.  Or at least it was.  Six months into it, and it's finally changing.  I never imagined that I would go to sleep with a huge smile on my face every night, but that's what has been happening.  My dad said I deserve this, that I deserve to be happy.  And yet, I still feel the need to almost pinch myself every day because I don't think that this is real life.  I mean I understand that I deserve to be happy, but when things finally work out for me?  That I do not expect at all.


Okay, I'm just rambling and I'm sure this makes zero sense.  Basically I do not want to spell out exactly what's going on because I do not want to jinx it.  But the happiness that I have been talking about? Yup, it's still there and my smile is getting bigger and bigger.


Even though I have the big smile on my face, there is still some frustration on the medical front.  Dr. P still is not my favorite what so ever.  She once again stressed me out when I was told my INR levels and quite frankly, it sucks to worry about it even more now that the trip to Washington is quickly approaching.  Strangely enough, I'm more frustrated about not getting my blood work results back that will tell me what medicine I will be on for my colotis.  It's more annoying then anything; I have been home for about a month now from the hospital and still nothing.  I guess the bright side is the fact that I wasn't expected to even be on the medicine yet because I was not supposed to know what my stomach issues were.  Maybe I need to focus on that and know that, like I said before, all of this is happening for a reason.

To One of the Most Beautiful Women in my Life

Today is my mother's birthday and I could not be more grateful then having her in my life.  This picture is from last summer when we went to the Jersey Shore as a family and this particular evening, we all went down to the beach to see the flag ceremony.  I love it because the picture was taken without either one of use knowing the camera was on us.


My mother has been so helpful throughout my entire life, but especially these past six months.  I have not always been nice to her, in fact there were times I was a straight up bitch, and yet she would still come and give me a hug, or rub my back in support.  I don't think I would have been able to survive without her, and I'm eternally grateful to have her in my life.

So to my mom---who I know reads this.  Thank you so much for all the support you have shown me throughout the years.  Thank you for being my rock these past few months, not only for me but also for the rest of the family.  For never once breaking down in front of me no matter how scared you may have been.  Thank you for bringing me breakfast when I couldn't walk, and just laying down next to me and hugging me when I broke down in tears.  Thank you for sharing your love for the beach with me and showing me there is something magical that happens during the summer.  Thank you so much for just being there and loving me no matter what I do.  I don't know what I would do without your daily support in my life.

Hit play and enjoy one of my favorite songs at the moment.  While I have a different version for my Itunes, I find this one simply breathe taking.

Last night, after the thunder storm woke me up, I was tempted to write this post but decided to put it off and try my best to sleep.  While that failed, I was able to think about what I could write about and decided it's going to be the first of that some of my favorite things.  This one is going to be about books because I'm a huge nerd and want to share my favorite books slash write about my favorite author.  While the author is for young adults, I found her while I was a teenager and still get excited when she has a new book out.

Sarah Dessen.  Probably the single author from my youth that I will be reading no matter my age as long as she keeps publishing books.  I don't remember when I started to read her books, sometime back in high school, but I feel in love.  In the beginning, I noticed a trend in the material she wrote.  Some of her earlier books were about girls who entered bad relationships.  While I don't have any experience with that, you could not help falling in love with the characters and wanting to shield them from all the pain that these relationships caused them.  Sarah's writing has progressed throughout the years.  I'm happy to say she publishes about a book a year and I often go back to reread them.  One of the great things about being a loyal reader is she inserts some of her older characters into her newer books.  

While I love all her books, This Lullaby and The Truth About Forever the most.  Funny story is I wrote about This Lullaby in one of my college courses junior year.  I honestly can not say enough good things about her books.  While all her characters are often seniors in high school, I still can not help remember going through all the emotions they did back while I was in high school.

Now this book?  I reread it at least once every six to eight months.  This is hands down my favorite book.  Could it be because it takes place during that magical time of summer?  Possibly.  Actually, that is probably a very high likelihood.  This book is amazing, from the relationships Ann makes so realistically to the struggles that the main character, Alice, faces when she has finally become an adult and must face relationships with childhood friends and a sister who does not want to grow up.  While I read it, I longed to have the summers of traveling to an island, like Fire Island in the book or a vacation spot of the Cape, where you have a whole different life.  Now that I think about it though, I sort of have that with my Milford family, but that's a story for another time.  This book I highly recommend; I was sold after seeing the cover (hello the beach!) but fell in love with all the characters, Alice, Riley and Paul.  Its a great book for the summer, and for all the people who are like me who believe the summer is a very special time.

It's funny when good things finally happen to a person after a string of bad luck, how uneasy it makes a person.

Exhibit A. Me.

The bad news in the earlier post aside, good things have been happening and I'm not sure how to handle it.  Well, I know how I have been handling it.  I have been trying my best not to get my hopes up.  And just go with the flow ya know.

But inside, I'm a nervous wreck because I'm afraid everything will fall apart ANY minute.

I'm still waiting on the blood work that I need before I get my colitis medication.  They needed to test something, I forget what it was, but I can't start the medicine until I find out.  As of Friday (I think), Dr. I still had not heard, but I'm fine with the fact I still have not heard about the medication.  I really enjoy Dr. I because he has been giving me answers.  

But for now I'm just living my life, a little nervous but it's fine. 

A Small Request Please

Last night I was told that I seem to always have a smile on my face with a positive attitude.  While it's a huge compliment, obviously they do not read half of these blog posts where I vent and bitch about everything that has happened to me.

While I promised a fun post once I hit one thousand views, a more pressing issue has risen that I need whoever reads this to help me with.  This great guy I know, who used to hang out with my group of friends from time to time, was diagnosed with leukemia.  Typing those words have put a serious knot in my throat.  I don't see the guy often anymore, in fact probably have not seen him in over a year.  But you know those types of people that you just know are good people, well this guy is that person.  He always has a smile on his face, was always very nice and open to talk to, and just like I said a great guy.

Now when I saw him thanking people for prayers on Facebook, I asked my friend who introduced me to him what happened.  She didn't know, until this morning when she talked to his sister and got the information.  The text from my friend was a kick in the stomach.  Even though I haven't talked to the kid in a year I'm willing to go visit him at the hospital.  And ever since then, I have been wondering why bad things happen to good people.  I'm not even talking about me.  This kid is young, he doesn't deserve to go through this.

So basically this is what I'm asking every person who reads this blog post.  Can you please send out good, positive thoughts for my friend who is going through this trying time.  I don't want to put a name here just because I feel weird with privacy and stuff.  But everyone's well wishes helped me through this difficult year.  And he needs our support.  As weird as this may sound, I feel like this is plea for the help of my readers is doing something, anything, to try and get him better.  Because while sickness is never a good thing, it really is not fair when it's a 25 year old. Thanks everyone

Welcome to the Good Life

This is a video I found sometime last year.  I don't remember why I ran into it; possibly because I'm obsessed with Taylor and when people sing it.  Or maybe it was on some friend's page and I claimed it as mine.  But from when I first saw it, I fell in love.  I love the boy band moves, I love the fact that they are on a train, and I wish this happened in my real life.  

Needless to say, I went to the West Virginia game last year with Julia when the coach eventually got tosssed out (for once it wasn't Jimmy).  We were standing by these guys who looked familiar to me but I knew I didn't know them.  Well it was the guys in this video and I thought it was awesome to see Youtube sensations (at least in my eyes).

Okay, I have gone off on a small tangent about a subway sing a long and I'm not really sure why.   I did want to share with whoever reads this something that I really love.  Because whenever I feel down, I tend to find this video and just smile thinking about what would happen if this happened in my real life.

Real life though has not sucked recently.  And by that I mean ever since I have gotten home from the hospital.  I have run into some good luck in the end of May and beginning of June.  I have been able to eat whatever I want without being in pain.  I have been able to pick up hours at work a bit, even though yesterday I was sent home because it was so dead.  I've decided I'm going to see O.A.R. whenever they come around, I think it's August when that will be happening.  And I have other fun things planned coming up this summer.  

I truly believe summer makes things better.  If you don't believe that, think back to all the summers in your life, and I'm sure you are remembering the days that lasted well into the nights with the friends that you can never forget.  It's almost like during the winter time we have to hunker down and almost hibernate to make rest up for the fun that summer always promises.  

This post is nonsensical but most of them have been.  It's because I'm such a scatter brain on a regular basis that you tend to get the posts that have really no connections to anything I have written about.  It's fine though, adds to part of the charm.


One more view until I have reached the 1,000 views which I can not thank you enough about.  I can not believe that people continue to come to this thing that read about not only my health and daily life, but the ramblings that come about for the things in my life.  I think to honor when there is officially the thousand views, which may happen as I'm writing this, I am going to post some of my favorite things.  From books, movies, shows, and memories, I think it could be a good time.  Maybe I would make it a series of posts because I have realized this past week when I'm asked my favorite of something, I really don't have one specific favorite.  


I hope everyone is able to enjoy some of this beautiful weather we are having.  And that after watching that video, whenever you hear Taylor Swift, you will think of these boys and even of me, because it's just that memorable

One Moment Please.....Five Minutes Later

I love when doctor offices put you on hold forever, and then never click back over.

That's what happened this morning.  It really grinds my nerves when I call Dr. P to get my INR levels and ask about the stomach shots and not hear back from her.

"One moment please....."

She wonders why I don't like calling to check my levels and a good chunk of it is because I get the run around with that office.

On another note, I am currently eating part of my care package from Bill and Colleen.  Some very yummy mac and cheese.  And I finally took them all out of the box guys and I was PUMPED for the Cars shape.  Seriously, the shapes are my favorite.