Recently, Christopher has not stopped asking me questions about the whole colitis thing.  You see, he has a new friend who has Crohn's and doesn't seem to know anyone who has the same thing.  I guess I never realized how lucky I am to have friends who know what I am feeling when I go through a flare up.

But it's really nice to have Chris ask me questions about my health.  Even if it's what medications are you on a Sunday at 10 oclock at night.  When I didn't know what was going on with me, I was so upset with Chris for the fact that he never seemed interested in my well being.  I knew he cared, because he always offered being a phone call away.  But he always went off with his friends on adventures while I was stuck on my bed, depressed.  Asking all the questions he has been asking, and seeing his fascination with knowing the answers through his new friends eyes is pretty amazing.

His interest in my condition makes me want to meet this new friend but more then that, I want to sit down and have an open discussion with my wonderful brother.  Honestly, even a question about stupid medications couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Last year, when we lost Madison, I got another Madison in the form of a stuffed fox.  A fox meant a lot to me at the time, and having the package waiting on my bed took the sting of losing one of my favorites from my life.  

Now, we are losing Mandy, and I can not handle this loss as well.  Mandy has always been the quiet of the two sisters.  She barely barked while Madison was alive and now she barks a lot, especially when she gets excited about eating dinner.  But while she has regained a youthfulness, she has been declining a lot these past few weeks.  She can't make it up the stairs without being coaxed. Mom and Dad think she's blind in her eyes which I don't necessarily see.  And it's heartbreaking to watch.

I don't have a stuffed animal to hold onto this time around and I'm rather nervous about Mandy.  We will have such a quiet house when Mandy isn't around anymore.  

I don't know why I'm writing about Mandy.  I think I'm more sad then anything that she isn't feeling well and that she's lonely without Madison.

I just really don't like this growing up thing....

Throwback Thursday.

This came onto my Ipod this morning and I remembered how much I loved it.  Plus, it always reminds me of Julia when we played that in college.

One of my favorite songs in the world.  I love how it starts slow and how it picks up for the chorus.  I don't know many people who don't like this song.

Love this song.  There is a song out now that's called "Tongue Tied" that reminds me a lot of this song.  I don't know about the music videos for any of these songs, but I do love the actual songs.

And you know it's Throwback Thursday, so I figure I would share....

Happy Monday

Here's a great philosophy to live by this week.  Because in the words of the Beatles....Love is all you need.

Love Is All You Need....

In honor of one of my younger cousins moving in for her freshmen year at college, I decided to do a little nostalgic  post because I miss college that much.

College was such a scary, big, idea throughout high school but especially during that summer before you moved into a dorm.  I spent that summer in Arkansas with Kayleigh and her family and went on various trips to several baseball tournaments.  For some reason, I decided that spending the most memorable summer away from my friends.  Goodbyes scared me sand I didn't want to be the one to miss my friends the most.

That summer seemed endless, until we were getting together to say goodbye to each other.  There were some tears, but mostly promises, countless promises, that we would stay in touch and that we would get together all the time when we were home.

Then college hit.  I went through it all in college.  Friends who stayed and made such a huge impact in my life and will support me in everything I will ever do in my life.  Friends who I thought were everything but turned out to let me down.  People that helped me up every time I fell.  And then those people who spent hours and hours with me at the library, to which we would end the days in the wee hours of the morning laughing and dancing the night away.

College is a place I found myself.  I found out that if I studied hard, and I mean really hard, I could do anything I set my mind to.  The first year was bad academically, but when I decided I needed to get things done, I was able to turn everything around.  I learned who true people were and that sometimes, even with the best intentions, people let you down.  They don't mean to but sometimes life just makes you drift apart from those people who you thought would be in your life till old age.  And I found out about music, and love and friendship and work ethic and communication.  I found that I could be on my own and survive. 

And I found that my family would love me regardless and always be my biggest supporters no matter what.

I am beyond jealous of Kayleigh because she started this wonderful life journey yesterday.  I can not wait to hear how much she loves school and everything she gets to do.  I know everyone has to eventually grow up, but I wish I could relive my college years.  Not to do anything differnt, but to have that care free life where I am always a short walk away from some sort of adventure....

Living Just to Find Emotion....

If there is one thing I want to do, it is make an impact on someone's life.  When people tell me they always see me with a smile on my face, or that I always look happy, that means a lot to me.   It makes me realize that we can project an image to those around us, and if a smile on my face can make someone's day, then that is amazing.

But I want to make a change.  When I was younger, I had the idea of making a change with wanting to be a teacher.  And I'm not saying I'm giving up on that dream, but I am thinking that my dream, at least for now, has changed.  I want to help people who aren't as lucky as I am to have amazing friends or family.  I want to help my friends who have done so much for me.  And I want to help good causes.

I don't know how to start this great change that I have in my mind.  Sometimes I don't think it's possible, but then I'm reminded that my smile sometimes makes people's days.  Go figure right?

At a quarter of a century old, I think it's about time for me to actually start doing things.  Just take that leap of faith and soar.  Yes, this may be a complete cliche, HOWEVER, if I ever want to be successful in jumping Signal Rock, I gotta be open to jumping in all aspects of my life.  Because life is not going to sit around and wait for me.  There have been a handful of times I have taken the plunge and been brave.  And all those times have been pretty successful.  

So I'm thinking it's about that time again.....to be brave for myself.  To start making a change in my own little world.  To smile a bit more because you never know who just needs that smile to make their day a little bit better.

Throwback Thursday: Weeeeeeee

I have been listening to a lot of random music lately, in part because I want to find the great summer playlist, but also because at work we can only listen to one Top 40 station and today's pop music gets old.  It's funny though, in a few months I will become nostalgic for the stuff that's playing now.  We are a culture who goes through popular music wicked fast.

Anyway, I started to fall in love with my old favorites.  You know....music that may have been a point of reference to our lives.  There is that old saying after all that music makes the world go round.  But here are some favorites that I hope you are able to enjoy.

Empty Apartment--Yellowcard

Beautiful song about wishing someone you once loved will remember you with fondness

Summertime--Kenny Chesney

Because it's a smile, it's a kiss, it's a sip of wine....summertime

 Try Again---Aailyah

A beautiful voice that was taken way too soon.

I want to know about other people's favorite music.  I want to know about what songs remind you of a specific time in your life or made a moment that much more memorable.  Because weather we like it or not, we all have our own soundtrack, even if we don't really "enjoy music".  I'm one of those people that needs a song always in my head, or playing around me.  I know that not everyone is like me, but I want to know those songs that may stick out, that no matter what you have to turn up the radio.

 

I'm a Little Drunk On You...

If you are tired of all my pro-summer posts, then I recommend leaving this post right now.  If you aren't, press play on the Youtube video, and enjoy another great summer song provided by a big country artist.

As I was thinking about the concept of a great summer song, I realize most of them are from country artists and I can't say that I hate it.  Country music is all about love, being comfortable in jeans and tshirts and drinking.  And they also happen to have a lot of music about enjoying the summer.  Basically country stars know how to live life a hundred percent.

Part of me believes this song would have been my anthem last summer, but if you think about it, a person can be "drunk on you" with anyone, not just someone they really like.  I'm such a fan of summer that even the most boring activities are better because of the season.  So maybe I'm drunk and high off summer because it's a magical time.  I sometimes wish I could have summer all year long, but then I wonder if I would love it as much as I do now.

Tell me you don't think of a specific person when you hear this song.  Because if you tell me you don't, I will tell you, with all kindness, that I think you are lying.

P.S. This little girl has become a fan of country music again.  

I Gotta Confession to Make....

Last night I finally saw Dark Knight Rises.  And as much as I hate to admit it, I had tears in my eyes at the end of the movie.  I don't cry during the sappy lovey-dovey movies, but during a super hero movie.....I have to hold back tears.  Really?

If you haven't seen it, I think you need to run out to see it.  I'm not gonna lie, with the violence that went down in Colorado, I got nervous whenever a gun scene broke out.  But I thought the whole movie was amazing and was definitely worth the money/three hours of movie time.  

Who would have ever thought I would enjoy these types of movies?  I never did, and at the end, I was so excited that the director left a possibility of more movies being made.  Greg told me that only three movies were going to be made, but I cross my fingers that's a rumor.

Can we also just talk about how I want to be Catwoman for Halloween, if only it wouldn't be one of the most popular costumes out there now?

I Think About You in the Summertime

Two posts in one day.....aren't you all lucky. (This was in my drafts because I guess Starbucks didn't like me that day....

So summer is winding down and I have to actually accomplish some of my summer goals. Let's review what I have left to finish by the end of August.

First things first.  I need to jump off Signal Rock if it kills me.  This weekend was a fail on achieving that goal, but I gotta do it soon because I'm so pumped to actually jump, but I know when it comes down to it, I'm going to be terrified.  Totally fine though, cause I'm going to jump with the beach family advising me where best to actually jump.

I gotta still come up with the ultimate summer soundtrack.  Unfortunately, the Ipod I have will probably not allow me to play it in a Ipod dock. But I figure if I make it on my Itunes, whenever I have people over I can play it.  Plus I can share it on this wonderful blog in case anyone actually wants to hear it.  (Speaking of playlists, anyone hear the Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart break up one....)

BBQ's and family dinners have been lacking. Which means that sometime soon I gotta have everyone over so we can sit around all evening/night and just be our normal weird selves and take tons of pictures.  We have been taking a lot of pictures, but I just feel like I don't get to see everyone as much as I would like.  I know, totally my fault because for a few weeks, I was working myself down to nothing.  But that has stopped and I plan on playing with my friends more often.

Beach days have been coming about a lot more then I did last year and I HAVE to make sure I take off the ultimate beach day that is Jersey Shore.  Let's be serious, I would love an adventure like that so freaking much.  But I have more of a tan then I did last year and I'm so excited about that.  I love my time in the sun.  Plus, I just feel more fit then I did last year.  Maybe it's because I haven't been on the steroids as long or maybe because I'm actually trying to do some sit ups and push ups so I don't feel like such a waste of life.  I would like to thank the Olympics for making me want to get in shape like all those athletes who train their whole life to look that good.

Last night was a great summer night.  After watching Tom's softball team in the play offs (sorry that you lost guys), we ended up sitting around the parking lot, drinking beers, laughing and telling stories.  At one point in time I turned to Shannon and said how much I love nights like that when I just look up and see the stars.  Then I tried to convince her to go watch the meteor shower that I think is coming up in the strawberry field/cemetery.  She wasn't a fan of that idea.

Sometimes it's crazy to think I have known the Southington kids for however many years I have known them.  They are a great group of guys who just make me laugh at how care free they live their life.  And they are always so welcoming whenever I see them, no matter how much time has passed.

I also became friends with Jared and Lindsay's dog Dexter.  The thing is a monster and yet I had him basically eating ice out of the palm of my hand.....if I wasn't terrfied of actually putting the ice in my hand.

Hopefully I get a few more great summer nights like that because ones where you just sit around talking with friends under the stars....those are amazing.