I've been neglecting this lovely blog because I have been busy with my birthday, but also because I don't know if my life is interesting enough for people to want to find out without all the doctors appointments and news like I had a few days ago. Plus hearing about my breakdowns is no fun, so I've been trying to prevent people from those.
But my bestest requested I update this thing so here we go, an overview of a birthday that I semi wish I could get a redo of when I feel better. Friday, the actual birthday, I had a visitor which for those who read this on a regular basis know I absolutely love. Sara came over with Diary Queen Blizzards and we got to catch up on what was going on at work but also on life. I had a lot of fun with her and I have realized that when people do come over, they love sitting on the wheelchair because most people don't sit on them often. I don't even think it's that comfortable but hey, each his own. I can not wait to go back to work to be able to see Sara more often. Seriously I have missed everyone there so freaking much.
Friday night the parentals and I went to the Olive Garden and huge surprise there was a wait; please note that sarcasm but the wait was due to the fact it was Friday at 6 at night. I was looking forward to this shrimp dish I had a few months ago but I guess it was one of those limited time only things which made me wicked sad because I had been dreaming about it for days. But I had these lasagna rolls which was pretty good, and of course the amazing salad. I could eat that salad all the time if I had the right stomach for it. Stuffing my face with all that food though made me feel really sick and while I still went to Louie and Pam's for Pam's belated birthday celebrations, I put on my happy face for most of it because my tummy really did hurt me for the whole night. I did enjoy myself a lot. Not only did I get to see everyone, but Louie was amazingly funny and even though my stomach was in pain, I laughed so hard that I absolutely loved it. PS Meg had tears in her eyes from laughing so much which is my favorite thing.
My best friends came down from Mass on Saturday for my official birthday celebration. We went to Greg's deck hockey game followed by take out dinner and getting ready for the Wolf. Now I promised I would be honest in this thing which hopefully won't hurt anyone's feelings. Before I start that though, I just want to say that I had a lot of fun at the Wolf. I was happy with everyone who was able to come out to celebrate my birthday and I truly did enjoy being there with everyone. However, if I'm going to be honest with myself, my stomach hurt most of the night, my knee started to get stiff after a little bit of dancing and all I wanted to do was go home to go to bed. Awesome symptoms for a person's 24th huh? But like I said I got to sit and chat with friends, got to watch all the bad fashion choices from a wedding that was going on, and even got to dance a little. I was upset that all I had to drink all night was water. Even though I had clearance to have a drink, and asked my favorite bartender if he would make one for me, I didn't want to chance my stomach being in more pain than it was. So next time I can not wait for that drink.
Alanna and Jill tried some Louie's Lunch after closing time, which they both loved, then got the amazing diner on Sunday. We met up with Meggie to have brunch or maybe they had brunch while I had french fries with their amazing ranch dressing. I'm not one for most breakfast food unless I'm really in the mood for it which Sunday I really was not. Unfortunately Jill and Alanna left shortly after we returned from brunch. Seeing them made my birthday so much better because I really do miss them a lot. They were able to make me laugh throughout the whole time they were here, even if I felt awful which unfortunately was most of the time.
Nothing ends a birthday weekend like a breakdown and last night was no exception. I cried more then I had in weeks and I hate that I have been crying this much throughout this whole thing. I have had a lot of thing pent up inside of me, everything from concerns that I will never be officially better to pain that I may not have told my parents. Well last night I told everything to my dad and just cried. I let him know I didn't like certain doctors I have, I told him about my concerns that my stomach will not get better, I cried just because. Throughout this whole thing, I have not wanted to burden anyone with how I am feeling. I told him how even though I had fun on Saturday night, throughout this whole thing I hate that I lie to people when they ask if I'm okay because I don't want them to feel bad for them. I cried to dad because I don't want the pity when I tell people I don't feel well at all when I'm asked. He told me of ways I could answer and that as my friends they just want what is best for me. Never would I have thought I would have cried more on the closing of the weekend I celebrated my birthday, but my number one concern right now is to get better. Dad says he has a feeling I'm going to get better, but I don't know....it's hard to stay positive after a month of nothing getting fixed.
Today has been up and down. Dad suggested I start a bland diet so I can see if my stomach starts to feel better which means nothing that I really love to eat or what I am craving but I'm willing to keep my mind open. We went to Stop and Shop to get different things for little old me and as we were walking around the store I honestly felt like I was a ghost of myself. It was really weird feeling that I often get before I pass out but I didn't have the feeling that I would pass out....just walking around feeling as light as could be.
I got to take a long nap today which I hope does not mess with my sleep schedule. And by take a nap I mean I was falling asleep just watching tv. My life is super exciting always. My left leg has been stiff and has a weird feeling since yesterday but I'm hoping the elevating of the leg will make the swelling from all the activity of the weekend go away. Unfortunately my right leg is kinda cramping now which I have already told Dad. I promised to try to be more honest with him so I didn't have a cry fest again anytime soon. When he touched my right leg, it hurt so now we are hoping it does not swell and it's just silly cramping that has nothing to do with blood clots because I would cry for weeks if I get a blood clot in my right leg now.
Pending of the snow storm these next two days, I will be starting work again on Wednesday. That was another thing I freaked out about last night but Dad told me that the doctor would not have cleared me if I was not ready. Mom and Dad have been an amazing rock throughout this. I would not want to deal with me during this whole thing and there they have been, even if I don't deserve it sometimes.
There is the update. Now that I know this is in demand at times, I will post more often I suppose. Plus, it's therapeutic at times to get everything out of my mind.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sometimes I wish that I knew someone who had a blood clot(s) in their leg. Not so they have to experience the pain that I had in those early stages, but someone to trade stories with.
After the ultrasound, my leg has been acting really weird. I have told my dad multiple times that it's like I can feel the blood clot there, moving about. I know this sounds absolutely nuts, which I completely understand. But it's a feeling that is so hard to describe and yet I want to be certain that it means nothing. Sometimes there are little hints of pain but I'm figuring that's because my leg is getting used to being in motion again.
If I knew someone my age with blood clots in the same place as me, I would be able to ask them if they had the same feelings. I honestly don't think it's anything other then the muscle and calf getting used to being in use after a month of being inactive, but it's still a very odd sensation that I wish would go away. I have kept up with my medicine, I have been drinking more water then a normal human being should ever has in their system and doing everything that I was told would make this bad boy go away.
Now I'm just crossing my fingers that the awareness of the blood clot goes away. This whole thing probably makes zero sense to all that reads this blog, but in my head it's about as sane as everyone wanting summer now. Bad analogy but I couldn't think of anything that is truly sane.
XOXOX
After the ultrasound, my leg has been acting really weird. I have told my dad multiple times that it's like I can feel the blood clot there, moving about. I know this sounds absolutely nuts, which I completely understand. But it's a feeling that is so hard to describe and yet I want to be certain that it means nothing. Sometimes there are little hints of pain but I'm figuring that's because my leg is getting used to being in motion again.
If I knew someone my age with blood clots in the same place as me, I would be able to ask them if they had the same feelings. I honestly don't think it's anything other then the muscle and calf getting used to being in use after a month of being inactive, but it's still a very odd sensation that I wish would go away. I have kept up with my medicine, I have been drinking more water then a normal human being should ever has in their system and doing everything that I was told would make this bad boy go away.
Now I'm just crossing my fingers that the awareness of the blood clot goes away. This whole thing probably makes zero sense to all that reads this blog, but in my head it's about as sane as everyone wanting summer now. Bad analogy but I couldn't think of anything that is truly sane.
XOXOX
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Contrary to the snow storm commencing in the middle of our errands, Dad and I had a busy morning.
First one of my doctors annoys me to no end because yesterday his office called to tell us that we were wrong with dropping off something and handed in the wrong container. When I told them I get my labs done at a Yale affiliate in North Haven, they had NO idea where I was talking about and wanted me to go to New Haven lab because that's the only place that we could go. Seriously, thank you so much for telling me that I did something wrong when in fact you did it wrong. You gave me the wrong forms when I went to pick something up even after me telling the doctor I go to a Yale lab in my town. You had no regards to my blood clot. I'm sorry that you have no idea where medical offices are because that's something you should know working at a doctor's office. I mean maybe I am crazy to think you should know when labs for blood work is done in surrounding towns. So I was wrong because they didn't give us the proper instructions.
Anyway, we had to go to various things today to square away all our errands.These included going to get my blood work done which we did just in time because she was leaving for the day due to the snow. Then we had to go down to Yale area in New Haven where we had to go to the top floor of the parking lot in the middle of the blizzard, go into the building that honestly spent two minutes in, then go back up to the wonderful snow covered top floor. Honestly, thanks to that wonderful doctor who made us go all the way to New Haven for something we could have picked up in North Haven but they had no idea what I was talking about.
The big news of today is I got a note from the vascular doctor giving permission on returning to work!!! I could not be more excited, which Tommy tells me is absolutely insane to want. But it's just two days next week which the first one back is with everyone. I can not wait to go back and get to do something on a regular basis and make my MONEY. Ugh, I've missed people so much. My boss seemed hesitant because he wanted me back 100 percent but honestly it will be a while before that happens. I reassured him over and over that my doctor said I could go back to normal and do things that I am used. So I'm back and that makes me happy.
Another thing that makes me happy? Having my two long lost best friends come visit me for my birthday on Saturday. I'm so so so excited.
First one of my doctors annoys me to no end because yesterday his office called to tell us that we were wrong with dropping off something and handed in the wrong container. When I told them I get my labs done at a Yale affiliate in North Haven, they had NO idea where I was talking about and wanted me to go to New Haven lab because that's the only place that we could go. Seriously, thank you so much for telling me that I did something wrong when in fact you did it wrong. You gave me the wrong forms when I went to pick something up even after me telling the doctor I go to a Yale lab in my town. You had no regards to my blood clot. I'm sorry that you have no idea where medical offices are because that's something you should know working at a doctor's office. I mean maybe I am crazy to think you should know when labs for blood work is done in surrounding towns. So I was wrong because they didn't give us the proper instructions.
Anyway, we had to go to various things today to square away all our errands.These included going to get my blood work done which we did just in time because she was leaving for the day due to the snow. Then we had to go down to Yale area in New Haven where we had to go to the top floor of the parking lot in the middle of the blizzard, go into the building that honestly spent two minutes in, then go back up to the wonderful snow covered top floor. Honestly, thanks to that wonderful doctor who made us go all the way to New Haven for something we could have picked up in North Haven but they had no idea what I was talking about.
The big news of today is I got a note from the vascular doctor giving permission on returning to work!!! I could not be more excited, which Tommy tells me is absolutely insane to want. But it's just two days next week which the first one back is with everyone. I can not wait to go back and get to do something on a regular basis and make my MONEY. Ugh, I've missed people so much. My boss seemed hesitant because he wanted me back 100 percent but honestly it will be a while before that happens. I reassured him over and over that my doctor said I could go back to normal and do things that I am used. So I'm back and that makes me happy.
Another thing that makes me happy? Having my two long lost best friends come visit me for my birthday on Saturday. I'm so so so excited.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Woooo Birthday Week!
To start off my birthday week, I got a wonderful ultra sound on my leg. I actually didn't mind it so much because of a few reasons. One I lie down without having any tubes or anything stuck inside of me. I mean really, that's my number one pet peeve with the whole tests happening. Two, I get one of those very stylish cover things that you have to make sure you are already sitting down when the tech comes in because if not, he will see what type of undergarments you are wearing. Not cute. Plus, this time I was not in tons of pain so I just chilled while the ultra sound lasted less then five minutes. Seriously, hospital took longer.
I got to see the really awesome doctor again which I loved because he is really really nice plus he gave me good news on top of some eh news but whatever, I'm focusing on the positive. First, he told me that the blood clot got bigger. I don't quite understand that one, especially because the swelling in my leg has been reduced dramatically but he said it had gotten bigger. But he stressed I should not stop living my life. He told me to go back to work, to walk around, to enjoy life. Which means I will be going dancing on Saturday in celebration of my birthday on Friday. Plus, I'll have my two best friends visiting, but that's for another time.
He also said continue to drink fluids, especially water which I guess if fine, but I am getting mighty tired of water. I could deal though. One of my favorite things he told me during this visit is that I will not be getting any other testings done for a while which means dun dun dun NO COLONOSCOPY!!!!! At least for a while. My dad talked to him in the hall when I was dressing and he said that if they had thought it was cancer then he would understand needing the test but since they don't, then he doesn't see the urgency. Basically I am in love him and hoping that my stomach fixes itself during this time. Everyone who reads this cross your fingers that this can be the result.
The second favorite thing he told me was when we were walking to schedule another ultrasound in three months. I asked him if I would be able to have a drink for my birthday this weekend. He asked what type which I replied alcoholic (I'm obviously very smart) and he said yes of course I know this but what type of drink. Basically he gave me permission to have a drink on my birthday which I'm fine it's just one but YAYYYY for that one!
On the car ride home we discussed the whole appointment which probably lasted less then twenty minutes. We decided that even though the clot got bigger, which I thought he meant it was big to begin with but dad had clarified that it was bigger then before, the fact he is waiting three months before checking on me again means he is not that worried about it. Which I could totally jump on that boat because I really don't want to worry a lot about it too. He told me if I notice my leg starts to swell then I should just elevate it as much as I can which I did yesterday after a late night out. Basically I'm doing what the doctor tells me to do before he actually does. Goooo meeee!
I guess for now I just have blood work to look forward to, with the occasional ultra sound thrown in. I mean if that's what life is going to be like for the next few months I could dig it as long as I can get back to not being a hermit twenty four seven because I am starting to become difficult to be around. I'll continue to update this thing probably just because it's somewhat therapeutic plus I can get my worries about everything out. Ta-ta for now. Love you all
I got to see the really awesome doctor again which I loved because he is really really nice plus he gave me good news on top of some eh news but whatever, I'm focusing on the positive. First, he told me that the blood clot got bigger. I don't quite understand that one, especially because the swelling in my leg has been reduced dramatically but he said it had gotten bigger. But he stressed I should not stop living my life. He told me to go back to work, to walk around, to enjoy life. Which means I will be going dancing on Saturday in celebration of my birthday on Friday. Plus, I'll have my two best friends visiting, but that's for another time.
He also said continue to drink fluids, especially water which I guess if fine, but I am getting mighty tired of water. I could deal though. One of my favorite things he told me during this visit is that I will not be getting any other testings done for a while which means dun dun dun NO COLONOSCOPY!!!!! At least for a while. My dad talked to him in the hall when I was dressing and he said that if they had thought it was cancer then he would understand needing the test but since they don't, then he doesn't see the urgency. Basically I am in love him and hoping that my stomach fixes itself during this time. Everyone who reads this cross your fingers that this can be the result.
The second favorite thing he told me was when we were walking to schedule another ultrasound in three months. I asked him if I would be able to have a drink for my birthday this weekend. He asked what type which I replied alcoholic (I'm obviously very smart) and he said yes of course I know this but what type of drink. Basically he gave me permission to have a drink on my birthday which I'm fine it's just one but YAYYYY for that one!
On the car ride home we discussed the whole appointment which probably lasted less then twenty minutes. We decided that even though the clot got bigger, which I thought he meant it was big to begin with but dad had clarified that it was bigger then before, the fact he is waiting three months before checking on me again means he is not that worried about it. Which I could totally jump on that boat because I really don't want to worry a lot about it too. He told me if I notice my leg starts to swell then I should just elevate it as much as I can which I did yesterday after a late night out. Basically I'm doing what the doctor tells me to do before he actually does. Goooo meeee!
I guess for now I just have blood work to look forward to, with the occasional ultra sound thrown in. I mean if that's what life is going to be like for the next few months I could dig it as long as I can get back to not being a hermit twenty four seven because I am starting to become difficult to be around. I'll continue to update this thing probably just because it's somewhat therapeutic plus I can get my worries about everything out. Ta-ta for now. Love you all
Saturday, January 22, 2011
No New News
The past few days I have not really gotten any new news. The doctors and still arguing back and forth I have been told by dad. I almost wish that my stomach would just magically get better so I didn't have to get that lovely test. But I know my luck, that won't happen.
No UCONN for me tonight. :( The other night I just realized an hour drive would be the longest distance I have gone throughout this whole thing and if something had gone wrong, I wouldn't be right down the street for my parents to get me. I am super bummed; I really wanted to see Alanna and Nick and go get some of my favorite food I have missed since graduating. But it's better for my health that I shouldn't go. BOOOOO.
Last night we had Nana's belated 85th birthday dinner here. Dad made a seafood pasta dish, and some chicken parm. I devoured my chicken parm, and stole some shrimp from the seafood dish because that's the only type of seafood that I eat. It was nice to see the family; plus I was able to give Greg a warning about my birthday celebration next week and my outfit that I plan on wearing. Let's talk about I can not believe that my birthday is in 6 days. Ugh, so not even prepared for that one. Although, depending on next week, I'm hoping to go into work and maybe get a little cake with my coworkers and hang out with them. I was promised a birthday cake from Maryellen back before I was sick that I have been looking forward to since the promise was made. :)
Monday is the big ultra sound that will be compared by the one I had the first day at the hospital. This will tell us how my blood clot has HOPEFULLY reduced and possibly even disappeared. The fact that I'm walking and the swelling continues to go down makes me really happy but you never know. Although this is the first appointment I have gone to I'm confident about. Go figure that one out....the most important appointment since going into the hospital and it's the one I am totally fine with it.
Hope everyone is doing wonderfully and keeping warm in this freezing cold weather. Everyday that I find out another one of my loved ones gets a kick out of reading this brings a smile to my face. Really and truly, I love you guys for making this whole thing a little easier to deal with.
No UCONN for me tonight. :( The other night I just realized an hour drive would be the longest distance I have gone throughout this whole thing and if something had gone wrong, I wouldn't be right down the street for my parents to get me. I am super bummed; I really wanted to see Alanna and Nick and go get some of my favorite food I have missed since graduating. But it's better for my health that I shouldn't go. BOOOOO.
Last night we had Nana's belated 85th birthday dinner here. Dad made a seafood pasta dish, and some chicken parm. I devoured my chicken parm, and stole some shrimp from the seafood dish because that's the only type of seafood that I eat. It was nice to see the family; plus I was able to give Greg a warning about my birthday celebration next week and my outfit that I plan on wearing. Let's talk about I can not believe that my birthday is in 6 days. Ugh, so not even prepared for that one. Although, depending on next week, I'm hoping to go into work and maybe get a little cake with my coworkers and hang out with them. I was promised a birthday cake from Maryellen back before I was sick that I have been looking forward to since the promise was made. :)
Monday is the big ultra sound that will be compared by the one I had the first day at the hospital. This will tell us how my blood clot has HOPEFULLY reduced and possibly even disappeared. The fact that I'm walking and the swelling continues to go down makes me really happy but you never know. Although this is the first appointment I have gone to I'm confident about. Go figure that one out....the most important appointment since going into the hospital and it's the one I am totally fine with it.
Hope everyone is doing wonderfully and keeping warm in this freezing cold weather. Everyday that I find out another one of my loved ones gets a kick out of reading this brings a smile to my face. Really and truly, I love you guys for making this whole thing a little easier to deal with.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
To Do When I'm Better
I have a list of things that I look forward to when I am completely healed. Figured I would share those here, even though it may be boring to some, I plan on looking back when I'm one hundred percent and see what I wanted to do.
1. Run. I miss doing any sorts of exercise but I especially miss running. I miss blasting songs from my IPOD and just getting a brief relief from all my crazy thoughts.
2. Eat nachos. Chicken wings. Steak. Salads, oh my goodness tons of salad. Tacos. Chilli dip. Basically everything that I have not been able to enjoy the past month that I plan on eating tons of when I feel better. And to help me gain all the weight I have unfortunately lost because of the stupid stomach problems that has yet to be diganosed.
3. Enjoy a drink or two. Seriously Dad and I were just saying how it's unfortunate that I can't drink because we can drink some wine. I told him who cares about the medicine let's just do it but he was not a fan. So when Warfarin leaves my life, bring on a few drinks.
4. Dance. A serious dance party will be going down.....where I will hopefully wear the dress I was planning on wearing on New Years. Even though I will more then likely end up at WW where Greg will yell at me, I'm going to say I'm allowed because I have been sick. Shannon we will bust out our Oomcha moves SO SO SOON if I have something to do with it.
5. Go back to work. Crazy I understand but I just am going too stir crazy not to be excited to go back to work. Three days in I know I'm going to hate this request but still.
6. Not spend the whole day watching t.v. I saw a rerun today of a show on the Travel Network which I never have seen reruns of. I never want to have that happen again when I'm all settled.
7. Have a full night of uninterrupted sleep. Self explainatory.
8. Not have crutches or a wheel chair sitting in my room, waiting for me to need them. They are almost mocking me. I have been able to walk, but now my knees have been causing me trouble which means I have to sometimes have to use the crutches or wheelchair. There is no nicer way to say this, but it blows.
9. Go sledding (if there is still snow) or ice skating (if its still winter time). Looking outside at the snow today, I realized it's my favorite type of snow when I was little. I used to love when there was ice on top of the snow so there was that HUGE crunch every time you stepped into it. THIS IS THE TYPE OF SNOW THAT NORTH HAVEN HAS. I hope my able bodied friends are enjoying it in my honor. I also have the big urge to go ice skating which is not surprising because Stacey and I used to go all the time, plus I have a bet with one of my friends that I'm better at it then they are....but they were too scared last year to try it.
10. Wear my cute shoes when I go out, instead of my Converse because they are what is comfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love my Converse; but I want to wear my heels, or boots because they really dress up an outfit.
11. Not have to take medicine that my Nana takes. Or have to get weekly blood work taken. As nice as Helen is, I really don't like the bruises on my arms right where most drug addicts stick their needles to get their hits. I'm sure when I go out, people who don't know me question what I do.
I'm sure there is more. These are the ones I could think of at the moment. Just wait till I'm all better because I am going to be a freaking walking holiday. Seriously.
1. Run. I miss doing any sorts of exercise but I especially miss running. I miss blasting songs from my IPOD and just getting a brief relief from all my crazy thoughts.
2. Eat nachos. Chicken wings. Steak. Salads, oh my goodness tons of salad. Tacos. Chilli dip. Basically everything that I have not been able to enjoy the past month that I plan on eating tons of when I feel better. And to help me gain all the weight I have unfortunately lost because of the stupid stomach problems that has yet to be diganosed.
3. Enjoy a drink or two. Seriously Dad and I were just saying how it's unfortunate that I can't drink because we can drink some wine. I told him who cares about the medicine let's just do it but he was not a fan. So when Warfarin leaves my life, bring on a few drinks.
4. Dance. A serious dance party will be going down.....where I will hopefully wear the dress I was planning on wearing on New Years. Even though I will more then likely end up at WW where Greg will yell at me, I'm going to say I'm allowed because I have been sick. Shannon we will bust out our Oomcha moves SO SO SOON if I have something to do with it.
5. Go back to work. Crazy I understand but I just am going too stir crazy not to be excited to go back to work. Three days in I know I'm going to hate this request but still.
6. Not spend the whole day watching t.v. I saw a rerun today of a show on the Travel Network which I never have seen reruns of. I never want to have that happen again when I'm all settled.
7. Have a full night of uninterrupted sleep. Self explainatory.
8. Not have crutches or a wheel chair sitting in my room, waiting for me to need them. They are almost mocking me. I have been able to walk, but now my knees have been causing me trouble which means I have to sometimes have to use the crutches or wheelchair. There is no nicer way to say this, but it blows.
9. Go sledding (if there is still snow) or ice skating (if its still winter time). Looking outside at the snow today, I realized it's my favorite type of snow when I was little. I used to love when there was ice on top of the snow so there was that HUGE crunch every time you stepped into it. THIS IS THE TYPE OF SNOW THAT NORTH HAVEN HAS. I hope my able bodied friends are enjoying it in my honor. I also have the big urge to go ice skating which is not surprising because Stacey and I used to go all the time, plus I have a bet with one of my friends that I'm better at it then they are....but they were too scared last year to try it.
10. Wear my cute shoes when I go out, instead of my Converse because they are what is comfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love my Converse; but I want to wear my heels, or boots because they really dress up an outfit.
11. Not have to take medicine that my Nana takes. Or have to get weekly blood work taken. As nice as Helen is, I really don't like the bruises on my arms right where most drug addicts stick their needles to get their hits. I'm sure when I go out, people who don't know me question what I do.
I'm sure there is more. These are the ones I could think of at the moment. Just wait till I'm all better because I am going to be a freaking walking holiday. Seriously.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Happiness Hit Her
Today was a serious long day, and I am so tired but I have barely done anything so it makes very little sense.
I got blood work today. The regular lady Helen was not there but the one who was was nice enough. I joked with her that when the little label printer printed off a lot of little things that meant many vials of blood. I was the lucky winner of having my blood drawn into at least four different vials. Winner winner.
Although I DID win because when we were walking in I thought I saw one of my favorite customers go into the doctors office. This lady reminds me a lot of my grandma and I often had conversations with her, and looked forward to her coming in almost every day. Turns out I needed to go into the office and it WAS her. As weird as it was, I was truly happy to see her even though she was injured as well. I got to have a nice little chat with her and we even continued it in the vestibule of the office with a woman who I'm assuming is her daughter. By the way, one day she came in with her daughter and introduced her to me because we are such amazing friends. HAHAHA.
The doctor update of the day is there really isn't much. I have to increase my medicine for two days a week and this week I'm not going to have any more blood work (yay!). My three different doctors have to talk to one another to double check my next step, which basically means they all must discuss if the testing for my stomach is a good idea or not at this time. We really didn't get much of an answer to that one which is kind of expected.
I got to see all my favorites from work which is something that makes me beyond happy.
My left knee has been hurting me but I think I have come up with a reason as to why that's happening. Because I'm walking on it without the help of crutches, it has to get used to the weight, which means that it may hurt a bit. Behind my knee and a little ways up hurts a bit, which may be justifiable cause to take some pain medicine but I'm trying at this point to do this without it. I guess what this means is I have to grab the crutches again to use them around the house. I tried to do that before dinner and it hurt my hands to use them again but it gave relief to my knee.
I may get to see my best friend this weekend if my parents let her steal me away for the day/night. I'm going to cross my fingers for this.
I got blood work today. The regular lady Helen was not there but the one who was was nice enough. I joked with her that when the little label printer printed off a lot of little things that meant many vials of blood. I was the lucky winner of having my blood drawn into at least four different vials. Winner winner.
Although I DID win because when we were walking in I thought I saw one of my favorite customers go into the doctors office. This lady reminds me a lot of my grandma and I often had conversations with her, and looked forward to her coming in almost every day. Turns out I needed to go into the office and it WAS her. As weird as it was, I was truly happy to see her even though she was injured as well. I got to have a nice little chat with her and we even continued it in the vestibule of the office with a woman who I'm assuming is her daughter. By the way, one day she came in with her daughter and introduced her to me because we are such amazing friends. HAHAHA.
The doctor update of the day is there really isn't much. I have to increase my medicine for two days a week and this week I'm not going to have any more blood work (yay!). My three different doctors have to talk to one another to double check my next step, which basically means they all must discuss if the testing for my stomach is a good idea or not at this time. We really didn't get much of an answer to that one which is kind of expected.
I got to see all my favorites from work which is something that makes me beyond happy.
My left knee has been hurting me but I think I have come up with a reason as to why that's happening. Because I'm walking on it without the help of crutches, it has to get used to the weight, which means that it may hurt a bit. Behind my knee and a little ways up hurts a bit, which may be justifiable cause to take some pain medicine but I'm trying at this point to do this without it. I guess what this means is I have to grab the crutches again to use them around the house. I tried to do that before dinner and it hurt my hands to use them again but it gave relief to my knee.
I may get to see my best friend this weekend if my parents let her steal me away for the day/night. I'm going to cross my fingers for this.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
No Regrets. Just Love
As I sit here and watch a repeat of Glee, really you can't go wrong with that, I decided to put up a few pictures and tell you a little about my day. Today was an amazing day. First, I got to have a solid night of sleep, which has only happened one other time since before this whole thing started. When my dad woke me up this morning, the first words out of my mouth was "I got a full night sleep", followed by a high five. Its funny that something like that is cause for celebration.
Another reason why today rocked? I did not have to go to any doctors appointments. I did not have to get my blood drawn (well I did but with my dad not coming home till one and the icy road conditions, that did not happen). I have not been poked and prodded by a needle since Friday which means my veins are looking MIGHTY good and the bruises are disappearing. This is sadly a short victory but still a victory none the less. I just wish when I get my blood work done that they can give me a cool band-aid--like my Disney Princess ones that I bought about two months ago at work and Tommy made fun of me for being five.
Reason number three that I enjoyed today? All the amazing food I have been able to eat the past forty eight hours, even if it doesn't always sit well with me. Yesterday a bacon cheeseburger and french fries for lunch. Chinese food (just the chicken and one piece of broccoli from chicken and broccoli) for dinner. Today I had a Subway sandwich, not my usual size but I mean I have to realize my stomach is no longer as big as it once was, and tonight Dad made my FAVORITE meal ever, chicken bacon and onion with noodles. If you have ever had it, you understand my love. I have been in food heaven and I can not wait for the feast after I am better.
I was also promised a Louie hug the next time I see him. Those are my favorite because he is like a big Teddy Bear.
Oh and Snickers came out with a new flavor of candy bar. It has peanut butter in it. And when I went to visit work yesterday, I got a free coupon so of course I got it, along with some amazing Sweettart hearts, and I have yet to try it but I'll let you know how it is.
OKAYYYYY onto the pictures. I finally took some of the beautiful flowers I got from the girls, along with the pants that they got me which makes me feel the love whenever I look at them. Plus, I giggle whenever I think of Barb saying the top had a "sexy neckline", if I'm remembering the quote right.
Another reason why today rocked? I did not have to go to any doctors appointments. I did not have to get my blood drawn (well I did but with my dad not coming home till one and the icy road conditions, that did not happen). I have not been poked and prodded by a needle since Friday which means my veins are looking MIGHTY good and the bruises are disappearing. This is sadly a short victory but still a victory none the less. I just wish when I get my blood work done that they can give me a cool band-aid--like my Disney Princess ones that I bought about two months ago at work and Tommy made fun of me for being five.
Reason number three that I enjoyed today? All the amazing food I have been able to eat the past forty eight hours, even if it doesn't always sit well with me. Yesterday a bacon cheeseburger and french fries for lunch. Chinese food (just the chicken and one piece of broccoli from chicken and broccoli) for dinner. Today I had a Subway sandwich, not my usual size but I mean I have to realize my stomach is no longer as big as it once was, and tonight Dad made my FAVORITE meal ever, chicken bacon and onion with noodles. If you have ever had it, you understand my love. I have been in food heaven and I can not wait for the feast after I am better.
I was also promised a Louie hug the next time I see him. Those are my favorite because he is like a big Teddy Bear.
Oh and Snickers came out with a new flavor of candy bar. It has peanut butter in it. And when I went to visit work yesterday, I got a free coupon so of course I got it, along with some amazing Sweettart hearts, and I have yet to try it but I'll let you know how it is.
OKAYYYYY onto the pictures. I finally took some of the beautiful flowers I got from the girls, along with the pants that they got me which makes me feel the love whenever I look at them. Plus, I giggle whenever I think of Barb saying the top had a "sexy neckline", if I'm remembering the quote right.
The cake from the surprise early birthday party I wrote about yesterday. I was told my nickname would stay forever, even if I lost the boom boom
The beautiful plant that I will have long after all this ends, which will always be a reminder of how I have such amazing people in my life.
The bouquet of flowers the girls got me that are absolutely breathe taking.
I went picture happy with the flowers because there were so many pretty different combination at every turn
I told you that I will be reminded of my other mothers love every time I wear these bad boys.
I love this picture for a few reasons. One every person celebrating my birthday sang at the very top of their lungs for the birthday song. Two it's ice cream cake, which I stole all the extra crunchies because I'm the birthday girl. And one of the last things is there is Andy cheering me on on the top part of the picture
And I leave you with this picture which I took from Shannon and is hands down one of my favorite pictures ever. This is Phil, who put on the Princess napkin, and we took a picture of that to put online just for laughs. He asked for a redo and put on the Kayne glasses. I laughed a lot for a while after this gem.
Adios for now. Overall today was a lovely day which really was made because I didn't have to get any shots.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I Love my Friends
I knew something was going on last night but I figured it was a small get together with friends. Andy had mentioned cake when we went out on Friday but I know Meg well enough to know that she would be planning on some sort of cake for my birthday because she is one of my best friends. Anyway, we went to Towne which is a pool hall and when I walked in, there were my friends, standing in the little lounge, with birthday balloons and cake, shouting happy birthday for me. To say I was taken by surprise would be a mixture of fact and fiction. I could not believe they were there for me, and that they all pulled it off. Even Alison was there, after making the long trek from RI to CT the previous day, she returned, just for me and I could not be happier. I got to laugh a lot, eat some food which was yummy, AND I even played pool....was really awful at pool but I played none the less. Thank you to those of you who read this and came last night, it meant a lot. And to all those who wanted to come but couldn't, you were there in spirit.
I thought I was going in for an ultrasound today because my primary doctor told my dad that. When my dad tried calling this morning to get some more information, they told him that there was no ultrasound scheduled and it was just an appointment with the doctor. This is the first appointment that I was by myself with the doctors, I must have screwed up the forms when they asked me to fill them out because I had no idea what I was doing. Anyway, I went which is huge, found out how much I weigh, which is in my opinion not good, and waited for the doctor.
I didn't write this right when I got home because I wanted to tell my parents about it first. Unfortunately with this blog, I keep it real which means it's kind of gross. So I apologize if this part is not good for all of you but it is what it is. I gave him all the information that I could and when he found out that I had blood work done plus a CT scan he told me he was going to check the computer to see if he can find out any information from these tests. Basically he was trying to get more information so he could assess my situation to the best of his ability. First I found out that I'm anemic which something to do with my blood counts and being significantly lower then what it should be. So that's amazing. Then we started to discuss my scans from Friday; he said that my colon was inflamed. Which means I'm the lucky winner of more tests. Specifically, a colonoscopy (spelling is completely wrong I know)! Might as well add a test that I shouldn't be doing until I am older because let's face it, I'm really somewhere in my 80's age wise. The doctor says he thinks I have either Crohn's disease or Colitis but the test would be able to better diagnose the issue.
Bad part about the additional tests is that I will not be able to take my blood thinners which come in pill form. Instead, I would have to stop those again and then go back to the shots in the stomach for a few days and then use those again after the tests along with the pills which basically means start all over again. The joy I felt when he told me that is just so indescribable because I just loved those shots as you all know. Then hopefully they will be able to fix everything so I can eat. I'm not sure how long this whole process is going to take, but I'm just hoping that we can have it all figured out soon. I'm starving like marvin for some real food. Of course I asked him about my diet and he said I should try to eat as much as I could, which meant when I told my dad we went out for food, which of course did not agree with me right away.....making me scared to eat the second half of my burger. Funny thing though is my dad said you could see the pure joy on my face when I was eating that one half.
I have to get more blood work done to see if I have to take any vitamins to supplement not really being able to eat too much stuff. This basically means another excuse to visit work :) Cause I'm a HUGE dork and really truly miss them.
OH! And for blood clot updates! I am able to walk now! Very slowly but I'm able to walk. My dad wants me to use one crutch just in case, but I am able to walk okay without it. And I can walk down the stairs which had been what I was nervous about up until today when I just did it. Techinally the doctor gave me till this Thursday for recovery, but I don't know if that's going to change now with all this other silliness starting up again. So who knows when I'm going back to work but hopefully it's soon because I am climbing walls now.
Love you all for the continue support you show with me
I thought I was going in for an ultrasound today because my primary doctor told my dad that. When my dad tried calling this morning to get some more information, they told him that there was no ultrasound scheduled and it was just an appointment with the doctor. This is the first appointment that I was by myself with the doctors, I must have screwed up the forms when they asked me to fill them out because I had no idea what I was doing. Anyway, I went which is huge, found out how much I weigh, which is in my opinion not good, and waited for the doctor.
I didn't write this right when I got home because I wanted to tell my parents about it first. Unfortunately with this blog, I keep it real which means it's kind of gross. So I apologize if this part is not good for all of you but it is what it is. I gave him all the information that I could and when he found out that I had blood work done plus a CT scan he told me he was going to check the computer to see if he can find out any information from these tests. Basically he was trying to get more information so he could assess my situation to the best of his ability. First I found out that I'm anemic which something to do with my blood counts and being significantly lower then what it should be. So that's amazing. Then we started to discuss my scans from Friday; he said that my colon was inflamed. Which means I'm the lucky winner of more tests. Specifically, a colonoscopy (spelling is completely wrong I know)! Might as well add a test that I shouldn't be doing until I am older because let's face it, I'm really somewhere in my 80's age wise. The doctor says he thinks I have either Crohn's disease or Colitis but the test would be able to better diagnose the issue.
Bad part about the additional tests is that I will not be able to take my blood thinners which come in pill form. Instead, I would have to stop those again and then go back to the shots in the stomach for a few days and then use those again after the tests along with the pills which basically means start all over again. The joy I felt when he told me that is just so indescribable because I just loved those shots as you all know. Then hopefully they will be able to fix everything so I can eat. I'm not sure how long this whole process is going to take, but I'm just hoping that we can have it all figured out soon. I'm starving like marvin for some real food. Of course I asked him about my diet and he said I should try to eat as much as I could, which meant when I told my dad we went out for food, which of course did not agree with me right away.....making me scared to eat the second half of my burger. Funny thing though is my dad said you could see the pure joy on my face when I was eating that one half.
I have to get more blood work done to see if I have to take any vitamins to supplement not really being able to eat too much stuff. This basically means another excuse to visit work :) Cause I'm a HUGE dork and really truly miss them.
OH! And for blood clot updates! I am able to walk now! Very slowly but I'm able to walk. My dad wants me to use one crutch just in case, but I am able to walk okay without it. And I can walk down the stairs which had been what I was nervous about up until today when I just did it. Techinally the doctor gave me till this Thursday for recovery, but I don't know if that's going to change now with all this other silliness starting up again. So who knows when I'm going back to work but hopefully it's soon because I am climbing walls now.
Love you all for the continue support you show with me
Two quick notes before I go to the doctors. I'll elaborate later.
1. I have some amazingly wonderful people in my life. I truly am blessed.
2. I hate that my doctor tells me two different things always. No ultra sound this morning I guess. Who knows
Cross your fingers the doctor tells me something good so I can start eating. HELLLLO FEAST
1. I have some amazingly wonderful people in my life. I truly am blessed.
2. I hate that my doctor tells me two different things always. No ultra sound this morning I guess. Who knows
Cross your fingers the doctor tells me something good so I can start eating. HELLLLO FEAST
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Vistors, Vistors, I Love Visitors
While I was recovering yesterday from my late night out, I got the most pleasant phone call in a long time. My dear friend Alison was planning on going to Sonic in Wallingford with her boyfriend. While she was making this trip to Connecticut, she was planning on visiting me! Now, this was the first time I ever met Aaron so it was a little awkward because I can barely move from my bed and was not a hundred percent of my amazing self. But Alison had fun sitting in my wheel chair and wheeling around and I laughed so very much with their visit. And I must say I truly like Aaron; he challenged me to a eating contest when I get better. Of course I accepted.
This morning a bunch of my second Moms and Katelyn came to visit me. Now if you know these girls, you know that my search for laughter was easily fixed within five minutes of their visit. Next post I will take a picture of the very beautiful flowers they gave me. They honestly are breath taking. Plus I got a pretty pillow, socks and PJ's; everything essential for getting better. The girls lifted my spirits so fast and were open to listening about my whole ordeal, which was repeated a few times and many suggestions were given, one which I loved was the clip board. Kate said I should keep sheets of paper of everything I have been told so I can ask the doctors to clarify everything that is not necessarily the same information I had gotten from another doctor, because let's face it, that happens a lot.
The girls got to enjoy some soup my mom made because let's face it, even if I eat as much as my body allows me, food is still our number one priority. Obviously I would bring up all the different food shows and meals I have seen since being home stuck in bed. I have not laughed as much as I did in their visit in a very long time...it was very very lovely visit that I absolutely adored.
Tonight I get to go out with the hometown heroes and go to one of my favorite spots. The boys I guess are playing pool and I plan on watching some football because I'm certain TCB will be playing the game there. I just really wish I could play a game of pool but I'm not sure how my balance without crutches (because you really can't play pool with crutches) would work out. So I will be on the sidelines today, and watch the BIG game.
This morning a bunch of my second Moms and Katelyn came to visit me. Now if you know these girls, you know that my search for laughter was easily fixed within five minutes of their visit. Next post I will take a picture of the very beautiful flowers they gave me. They honestly are breath taking. Plus I got a pretty pillow, socks and PJ's; everything essential for getting better. The girls lifted my spirits so fast and were open to listening about my whole ordeal, which was repeated a few times and many suggestions were given, one which I loved was the clip board. Kate said I should keep sheets of paper of everything I have been told so I can ask the doctors to clarify everything that is not necessarily the same information I had gotten from another doctor, because let's face it, that happens a lot.
The girls got to enjoy some soup my mom made because let's face it, even if I eat as much as my body allows me, food is still our number one priority. Obviously I would bring up all the different food shows and meals I have seen since being home stuck in bed. I have not laughed as much as I did in their visit in a very long time...it was very very lovely visit that I absolutely adored.
Tonight I get to go out with the hometown heroes and go to one of my favorite spots. The boys I guess are playing pool and I plan on watching some football because I'm certain TCB will be playing the game there. I just really wish I could play a game of pool but I'm not sure how my balance without crutches (because you really can't play pool with crutches) would work out. So I will be on the sidelines today, and watch the BIG game.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Don't You Feel Like You are on a Talk Show?
Boy oh boy was yesterday the best treat ever.
In the morning I got my blood drawn, that is no change although Helen (the woman who draws my blood every time and I have grown to really like. It's a different woman from that very first time) was about to head on her lunch break but saw me hobbling from the bathroom and fit me in quick because she said I was one of her favorites. I don't know if it's one of her favorites or just one that she sees all the time. But she drew my blood which this particular time, it really hurt. I don't know if it's because this is the first time I did the whole thing without taking a pain reliever before hand or if my veins are just hating my life but it hurt to move my elbow the rest of the day.
At 2:30 we went to get my CT scan done. Now mind you, I had asked Stacey and Brendan both about CT scans. Both told me it shouldn't take that long. Stacey said the worse part that could happen was I get an IV but I would be going feet first into a tube because the scan is for my stomach area. WELL that was a complete joy from start to finish. We got there at 2:30 and they told me I had to have this drink that was the size of a Poland Spring bottle that tasted like fruit but was sugarless so it tasted gross. And I had to drink it all because it was contrast which helps them read the scans. WELL, that was an additional hour which means that I didn't go into the scan room till after 3:30 because the doctor was running late I think. So I go into the room and they tell me all about the contrast IV which means I start crying cause my parents aren't there to hold my hand and yes I'm still a big baby. But they end up doing the IV on my other arm from where I got the blood work done earlier in the day.
The scans were done and I was sitting there waiting for them to tell me I can leave. Mom and dad came in real quick and I was not supposed to move because I was still laying down and partly under the machine. Luckily the IV had been taken out but I just wanted to go home at that point. It was ten after four, Dad had to leave for his work happy hour, and I needed to go home to get ready for said happy hour. Plus I thought this whole thing was going to be twenty minutes. The scan part took that long but the waiting process, we were approaching two hours. So I had to get more scans cause the drinking contrast didn't go all the way through my body so they had to take a few more pictures. Luckily I got to leave right after and had to rush home to get ready fast, especially cause I was a crying mess for most of the afternoon.
Happy hour was a blast. All the people who were there for my dad was really special and they were all wicked nice to me who was walking around with my crutches. I got to meet a man named Joe who is friends with my dad. He had given me a candy bar and a book of cross word puzzles, and most importantly, the most beautiful card ever. I kept asking my dad where he was because I knew Joe was going to be there and I did not want to leave without meeting him. Luckily he came and I got to give him a huge hug and thank him many times. It just goes to show you how amazing people are when you are sick, and how they come together for you even if they don't know you that well.
On top of the happy hour, I got to go out with my friends. It was amazing to see everyone, I laughed quite a bit and just enjoyed everyone's company after a very difficult day. The best part of the night was getting the looks from people who watched me walk in my crutches, but I was walking not just on one leg. But if I didn't have the crutches, I would have fallen over. Another great part was seeing people who had no idea what happened to me. The looked at me, looked at the crutches, and with a face of confusion said "What happened to you?" I then did a little laugh to make light of it and said "oh you know just some blood clots." One of the guys from the happy hour saw the inside of my elbows where all the bruises are and told me I really needed to stop with the drugs. I laughed, cause that's all about I can do at this point.
Today I get to see one of my favorite red heads who is coming down with her boyfriend for Sonic, and making a pit stop to North Haven after to see me. Tomorrow I get to see Mom's friends aka my second moms and then go out with my friends again to one of my favorite spots that I have missed ever so much. Then I have my wonderful cousin helping me out on Monday and taking me to my doctor's appointment for the ultra sound to figure out the stomach issues. I have some amazing people in my life :)
In the morning I got my blood drawn, that is no change although Helen (the woman who draws my blood every time and I have grown to really like. It's a different woman from that very first time) was about to head on her lunch break but saw me hobbling from the bathroom and fit me in quick because she said I was one of her favorites. I don't know if it's one of her favorites or just one that she sees all the time. But she drew my blood which this particular time, it really hurt. I don't know if it's because this is the first time I did the whole thing without taking a pain reliever before hand or if my veins are just hating my life but it hurt to move my elbow the rest of the day.
At 2:30 we went to get my CT scan done. Now mind you, I had asked Stacey and Brendan both about CT scans. Both told me it shouldn't take that long. Stacey said the worse part that could happen was I get an IV but I would be going feet first into a tube because the scan is for my stomach area. WELL that was a complete joy from start to finish. We got there at 2:30 and they told me I had to have this drink that was the size of a Poland Spring bottle that tasted like fruit but was sugarless so it tasted gross. And I had to drink it all because it was contrast which helps them read the scans. WELL, that was an additional hour which means that I didn't go into the scan room till after 3:30 because the doctor was running late I think. So I go into the room and they tell me all about the contrast IV which means I start crying cause my parents aren't there to hold my hand and yes I'm still a big baby. But they end up doing the IV on my other arm from where I got the blood work done earlier in the day.
The scans were done and I was sitting there waiting for them to tell me I can leave. Mom and dad came in real quick and I was not supposed to move because I was still laying down and partly under the machine. Luckily the IV had been taken out but I just wanted to go home at that point. It was ten after four, Dad had to leave for his work happy hour, and I needed to go home to get ready for said happy hour. Plus I thought this whole thing was going to be twenty minutes. The scan part took that long but the waiting process, we were approaching two hours. So I had to get more scans cause the drinking contrast didn't go all the way through my body so they had to take a few more pictures. Luckily I got to leave right after and had to rush home to get ready fast, especially cause I was a crying mess for most of the afternoon.
Happy hour was a blast. All the people who were there for my dad was really special and they were all wicked nice to me who was walking around with my crutches. I got to meet a man named Joe who is friends with my dad. He had given me a candy bar and a book of cross word puzzles, and most importantly, the most beautiful card ever. I kept asking my dad where he was because I knew Joe was going to be there and I did not want to leave without meeting him. Luckily he came and I got to give him a huge hug and thank him many times. It just goes to show you how amazing people are when you are sick, and how they come together for you even if they don't know you that well.
On top of the happy hour, I got to go out with my friends. It was amazing to see everyone, I laughed quite a bit and just enjoyed everyone's company after a very difficult day. The best part of the night was getting the looks from people who watched me walk in my crutches, but I was walking not just on one leg. But if I didn't have the crutches, I would have fallen over. Another great part was seeing people who had no idea what happened to me. The looked at me, looked at the crutches, and with a face of confusion said "What happened to you?" I then did a little laugh to make light of it and said "oh you know just some blood clots." One of the guys from the happy hour saw the inside of my elbows where all the bruises are and told me I really needed to stop with the drugs. I laughed, cause that's all about I can do at this point.
Today I get to see one of my favorite red heads who is coming down with her boyfriend for Sonic, and making a pit stop to North Haven after to see me. Tomorrow I get to see Mom's friends aka my second moms and then go out with my friends again to one of my favorite spots that I have missed ever so much. Then I have my wonderful cousin helping me out on Monday and taking me to my doctor's appointment for the ultra sound to figure out the stomach issues. I have some amazing people in my life :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Kick 'Em While Their Down
I thought I was going to come on here and have some truly amazing news. Today I walked up the stairs. Granted it was with the help of my crutches, but I did it; I didn't have to jump up on the stair with the good leg. I was so so excited. I had been walking around on my foot, getting used to using my leg again with my crutches and then the stairs happened. I thought GREAT this is progress. The blood work is going to tell the doctors what is wrong with my stomach and they are going to fix that too and I'm going to be good.
I should know that my life is never simple. I mean I'm an almost 24 year old who has multiple blood clots in her leg, who has been bored out of her mind for weeks, and who has something weird going on with her stomach.
I guess I was wrong thinking that it was just the medicine causing the stomach problems. Tomorrow I was looking forward to going to happy hour for my dad. Now I have something else to look forward to: a CT Scan to see what's going on. Then an ultrasound on Monday. And another one the following week. And next week I'm supposed to return to work. Aren't I a lucky girl.
Obviously I balled my eyes out when I found out about the CT Scan. My dad had spoken to the doctor earlier today and she had only said ultrasound. Nothing about any scan where I have to go inside something. The office must have called three or four times today because they didn't seem to have everything straight. If you don't know what you are doing exactly, then why am I going to get a CT scan tomorrow? Why can't it just be a stupid ultrasound instead? Why does life have to keep playing these sick sick jokes on me?
I can't stop crying whenever I think about it. I want people to visit me. I don't want to be alone anymore and feel so lost because it's scary to hear about all these things and just be left alone with your thoughts. I love my parents immensely for all that they are doing for me but I can't laugh and joke with them like I can with my friends. I want a normal life again. I don't want to have to leave the happy hour tomorrow cause it might be "too much" for me. I want to be able to leave that and then have a fun night out with my friends full of laughter and jokes. But I know that won't happen.
Dad asked me today if I wanted to get better just at the hospital. I cried and said no, that would be scary. Which it would, but I have to ask myself if I had stayed at a hospital would this all be done faster? Would they have started these tests with my stomach before three weeks after it had been an issue? There are so many questions that I will never know the answer too. But maybe a stay at the hospital would be better. Who knows.
This week continues to suck. But in a little bit I get to go see my Mare which brings a huge smile to my face.
I should know that my life is never simple. I mean I'm an almost 24 year old who has multiple blood clots in her leg, who has been bored out of her mind for weeks, and who has something weird going on with her stomach.
I guess I was wrong thinking that it was just the medicine causing the stomach problems. Tomorrow I was looking forward to going to happy hour for my dad. Now I have something else to look forward to: a CT Scan to see what's going on. Then an ultrasound on Monday. And another one the following week. And next week I'm supposed to return to work. Aren't I a lucky girl.
Obviously I balled my eyes out when I found out about the CT Scan. My dad had spoken to the doctor earlier today and she had only said ultrasound. Nothing about any scan where I have to go inside something. The office must have called three or four times today because they didn't seem to have everything straight. If you don't know what you are doing exactly, then why am I going to get a CT scan tomorrow? Why can't it just be a stupid ultrasound instead? Why does life have to keep playing these sick sick jokes on me?
I can't stop crying whenever I think about it. I want people to visit me. I don't want to be alone anymore and feel so lost because it's scary to hear about all these things and just be left alone with your thoughts. I love my parents immensely for all that they are doing for me but I can't laugh and joke with them like I can with my friends. I want a normal life again. I don't want to have to leave the happy hour tomorrow cause it might be "too much" for me. I want to be able to leave that and then have a fun night out with my friends full of laughter and jokes. But I know that won't happen.
Dad asked me today if I wanted to get better just at the hospital. I cried and said no, that would be scary. Which it would, but I have to ask myself if I had stayed at a hospital would this all be done faster? Would they have started these tests with my stomach before three weeks after it had been an issue? There are so many questions that I will never know the answer too. But maybe a stay at the hospital would be better. Who knows.
This week continues to suck. But in a little bit I get to go see my Mare which brings a huge smile to my face.
Thank You
Thank you so much.
The simple text of you telling me you loved me made me smile huge after a day of a lot of tears.
It was like you were giving a huge hug to me. And I love you for that.
The simple text of you telling me you loved me made me smile huge after a day of a lot of tears.
It was like you were giving a huge hug to me. And I love you for that.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired
Yesterday I uttered words I had not uttered since this whole thing started. Yesterday I told my parents I was done. I quit. I didn't want to do this anymore. I have tried to be positive throughout this whole ordeal, and for me I kind of succeeded. I have thought to myself that there has to be a bigger reason for this all to be happening to me because well it doesn't happen to people. Yesterday when I was told I needed more blood work for this stomach problem that has not stopped since before Christmas, I broke down. Seriously, just cried and said that I quit. You have to understand, not being able to walk and staying in my bed 24/7 sucks. To top that off, I can't eat the foods that I really want and crave because it doesn't sit with me correctly is awful too. I don't understand why this all is happening to me. I just want it to be over and yesterday, with news of more blood work, I was ready to be done.
I can't say that today my mood got any better. It was nice to have the family home because of the snow. But can you imagine staying home without being able to do anything? Having simple tasks like getting something across the room be near possible? I got stuck in my living room today in the wheelchair because I wanted to look at the snow out front and had to say can someone help me because I'm stuck. While I find humor in it at the time, I sit here with tears coming out of my eyes because I just really want it to end. I would give ANYTHING to go into work tomorrow, have every single person be evil to me, and yet that would still be better then what I am dealing with.
Trying to figure out dinner tonight was awful. I wanted nachos. And not just chips with cheese on top of them. I wanted nachos with onions and chili and guacmole and salsa and sour cream and queso and nothing good on top of them. I wanted the bad boy nachos. But I can't have those. My suggestions for dinner? Grilled cheese and soup. On any other day that may sound good. To me today? Not at all.
Everyone seems to be asking about how my leg is doing. I wish I could say that its going well and I'm walking with no problems but I can't even say that. It hurts to put pressure on my foot. My calf has been tingling all day today and sometimes it's a little painful. I know that taking a pain pill would make that go away but I don't want to depend on those. You know that part of your foot when you bend your toes forwards and backwards (I'm sure this makes zero sense), but its the part that you would stand on if you stood on your tip toes. If I put too much pressure on that, which is HUGE, it hurts. It's a sting sort of feeling. I walk wicked slow and pray that the swelling will go down soon. I'm also hoping by Friday I could pick up speed a little more.
I have blood work to be drawn on Friday and I think the ultra sound is the beginning of next week. Possibly Monday but I don't have my days straight at all. Like today feels like it should be a Monday, not Wednesday. I'm trying to get positive again, really I am. I just think about how this year has started out and find it really really hard to think that its going anywhere but up. My dad is the one that told me I can't judge a whole year on the first 12 days but I think it's understandable why I already have judged it hard. I just miss my life. I want it back now.
I took some pictures today when I was trying to walk around the house the best I could. Or as Tommy would say, I have been doing the pretty girl swag with my crutches. I figured everyone else has taken pictures of their snow day, I figured I would do the same but put it on here. Plus a few more.....here ya go
I can't say that today my mood got any better. It was nice to have the family home because of the snow. But can you imagine staying home without being able to do anything? Having simple tasks like getting something across the room be near possible? I got stuck in my living room today in the wheelchair because I wanted to look at the snow out front and had to say can someone help me because I'm stuck. While I find humor in it at the time, I sit here with tears coming out of my eyes because I just really want it to end. I would give ANYTHING to go into work tomorrow, have every single person be evil to me, and yet that would still be better then what I am dealing with.
Trying to figure out dinner tonight was awful. I wanted nachos. And not just chips with cheese on top of them. I wanted nachos with onions and chili and guacmole and salsa and sour cream and queso and nothing good on top of them. I wanted the bad boy nachos. But I can't have those. My suggestions for dinner? Grilled cheese and soup. On any other day that may sound good. To me today? Not at all.
Everyone seems to be asking about how my leg is doing. I wish I could say that its going well and I'm walking with no problems but I can't even say that. It hurts to put pressure on my foot. My calf has been tingling all day today and sometimes it's a little painful. I know that taking a pain pill would make that go away but I don't want to depend on those. You know that part of your foot when you bend your toes forwards and backwards (I'm sure this makes zero sense), but its the part that you would stand on if you stood on your tip toes. If I put too much pressure on that, which is HUGE, it hurts. It's a sting sort of feeling. I walk wicked slow and pray that the swelling will go down soon. I'm also hoping by Friday I could pick up speed a little more.
I have blood work to be drawn on Friday and I think the ultra sound is the beginning of next week. Possibly Monday but I don't have my days straight at all. Like today feels like it should be a Monday, not Wednesday. I'm trying to get positive again, really I am. I just think about how this year has started out and find it really really hard to think that its going anywhere but up. My dad is the one that told me I can't judge a whole year on the first 12 days but I think it's understandable why I already have judged it hard. I just miss my life. I want it back now.
I took some pictures today when I was trying to walk around the house the best I could. Or as Tommy would say, I have been doing the pretty girl swag with my crutches. I figured everyone else has taken pictures of their snow day, I figured I would do the same but put it on here. Plus a few more.....here ya go
Our patio furniture on the back deck, after the two huge snow storms.
Seriously look at all the effin snow. I heard that North Haven has had the most snow in Connecticut.
Dublin sometimes comes out of hiding; I like to call him Dubz
This balloon makes me miss the people who gave it to me so much that it hurts. I just want one day with all my work loves
I use warm foot baths to try and reduce the swelling of my foot. Instead, I slowly try to move my feet when it's in the bath. It's gross I know.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Feast
Words can not express how excited I am for the feast I will have in celebration of my stomach being better.
Especially after watching Man vs. Food tonight and the nacho HEAVEN
Especially after watching Man vs. Food tonight and the nacho HEAVEN
More Blood Work
Today I won the prize of going in to get more blood work done to see what is wrong with my stomach. I'm hoping that the doctor will be able to tell me what's wrong so I can have a normal meal without feeling sick.
There were a few things that made this particular visit humorous to me. First we walked into the office and it smelled like tacos. I said it out loud to dad and the receptionist who is there from time to time said yeah they got Mexican. Needless to say, all I wanted was Mexican.
Then after waiting for the lady to finish her yummy Mexican lunch, I went into the office where she looked at me and said weren't you just here? I laughed and said yes that would have been me that was here yesterday. It's gross when I can tell the lady who draws my blood that I will see her on Friday.
There were a few things that made this particular visit humorous to me. First we walked into the office and it smelled like tacos. I said it out loud to dad and the receptionist who is there from time to time said yeah they got Mexican. Needless to say, all I wanted was Mexican.
Then after waiting for the lady to finish her yummy Mexican lunch, I went into the office where she looked at me and said weren't you just here? I laughed and said yes that would have been me that was here yesterday. It's gross when I can tell the lady who draws my blood that I will see her on Friday.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Pictures May Not Be Pretty for Others
Today was another day of blood work taken. The lady saw me and goes you're back again? I wanted to say unfortunately you will be seeing this beautiful mug for weeks to come but I didn't say it. It was the nice lady again.
I have slowly been trying to walk but it hurts a lot to do because my foot looks like a Flinstone foot. It's also difficult to do because I am so slow with walking that I get impatient not getting someplace in the time I used to be able to do. Who would have thought that learning to walk again would be so painful. And I truly am not a fan of the difficulty that it is presenting me.
Today I got to get out of the house after blood work and went to Hospice because Mom had to get something from work. All the people were very nice and asking how I was doing. Standard response was I was good, swelling is down on my leg but my foot is swollen. I'm preparing myself for Friday when all of the people who work with Dad ask the same types of questions. I almost feel like I should wear a sign on the front of me that says I'm doing better, trying to walk and the swelling in my calf is down.
Onto the gross pictures-----some people are not going to be comfortable with them so if you are queasy I recommend going to another website at this moment.
I have slowly been trying to walk but it hurts a lot to do because my foot looks like a Flinstone foot. It's also difficult to do because I am so slow with walking that I get impatient not getting someplace in the time I used to be able to do. Who would have thought that learning to walk again would be so painful. And I truly am not a fan of the difficulty that it is presenting me.
Today I got to get out of the house after blood work and went to Hospice because Mom had to get something from work. All the people were very nice and asking how I was doing. Standard response was I was good, swelling is down on my leg but my foot is swollen. I'm preparing myself for Friday when all of the people who work with Dad ask the same types of questions. I almost feel like I should wear a sign on the front of me that says I'm doing better, trying to walk and the swelling in my calf is down.
Before I get to the gross pictures that I find entertaining, meet the newest member of our family. This is Dublin who is in love with Harry Potter, or at least likes hiding under my bookcase and on top of Harry Potter. I'm sorry about the dust. Like I said this is behind my bookcase.
Onto the gross pictures-----some people are not going to be comfortable with them so if you are queasy I recommend going to another website at this moment.
The newest place of my blood work being done. This is the worst that my arm has looked since the start of getting my blood work done.
Feet look absolutely disgusting but please note the size difference of my two feet. Even the ankle. It's so disgusting how the swelling on my leg exploded.
Dun-dun-dun The dreaded calf. The indents are from my sweatpants so they are not there all the time. But even though this looks huge, you have no idea how much better this looks like from two weeks ago. Yes, it has already been two weeks. Crazy huh?
Love you all and thank you again for the continual support and well wishes throughout this whole ordeal
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I'm in a funk.
While I got the good news yesterday that I no longer have to do anymore shots in my stomach, I'm in a serious funk. I just want to be better. I'm sick of laying in bed doing nothing and hoping that the food I'm eating will be okay. I'm tired of being by myself with the SAME characters on television, because every channel replays their shows every few hours.
I just want to be better now. I don't like this waiting game even though I know it's good for me. And while Nana visited today, I just miss going out with my friends and being able to do things instead of constantly worrying.
This post is my pity party for one. Sorry that I subject whoever reads this to read these types of things as well but I have to tell the truth. And the truth is no matter how much doing nothing sounds amazing. It gets old after a day.
While I got the good news yesterday that I no longer have to do anymore shots in my stomach, I'm in a serious funk. I just want to be better. I'm sick of laying in bed doing nothing and hoping that the food I'm eating will be okay. I'm tired of being by myself with the SAME characters on television, because every channel replays their shows every few hours.
I just want to be better now. I don't like this waiting game even though I know it's good for me. And while Nana visited today, I just miss going out with my friends and being able to do things instead of constantly worrying.
This post is my pity party for one. Sorry that I subject whoever reads this to read these types of things as well but I have to tell the truth. And the truth is no matter how much doing nothing sounds amazing. It gets old after a day.
Friday, January 7, 2011
No more shots!
No more shots!
NO MORE SHOTS!!!!!
Such amazing news to wake up to on a Friday morning. My stomach shots are DONE and I could not be happier.
My foot is the size of a club and looks as if I have spent tons of time hanging out with Fred Flinstone. I hate it, but I mean I can't dwell on it.
I can not WAIT for the day I can walk without pain, and when I can eat and not hurt, which is hopefully right around the corner. Cross your fingers people, big doings are happening.
No more shots!
NO MORE SHOTS!!!!!
Such amazing news to wake up to on a Friday morning. My stomach shots are DONE and I could not be happier.
My foot is the size of a club and looks as if I have spent tons of time hanging out with Fred Flinstone. I hate it, but I mean I can't dwell on it.
I can not WAIT for the day I can walk without pain, and when I can eat and not hurt, which is hopefully right around the corner. Cross your fingers people, big doings are happening.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Ouchies
Tonight we tried a new spot for the shot. A little below my belly button. Previous to tonight we had been alternating sides for the shots. I have this one particular huge spot that may look like a freckle to some but it's the one shot spot that I bled after the injection was given. It's scary looking and so I told my dad tonight that I didn't want to go near that because it is scary looking blood spot thing. WELP, I wish I hadn't been stubborn and went there instead. This under the belly button thing hurts like a mother now and I want the pain to go away.
Tomorrow the blood results come back and I'm crossing my fingers and toes that they say I don't need these shots anymore. I don't like making my dad feel bad with my faces or cries when it hurts. I know he takes it personally because he has to give me the shots but honestly, its nothing against him but the fact that the pain happens cause he has to give them to me.
On another note, my leg is kinda hurting today. Not sure if it's because I didn't elevate it all last night or if it's because I'm trying to keep it straight and did a lot with it yesterday but it is kind of hurting today. Boooo to pain
Tomorrow the blood results come back and I'm crossing my fingers and toes that they say I don't need these shots anymore. I don't like making my dad feel bad with my faces or cries when it hurts. I know he takes it personally because he has to give me the shots but honestly, its nothing against him but the fact that the pain happens cause he has to give them to me.
On another note, my leg is kinda hurting today. Not sure if it's because I didn't elevate it all last night or if it's because I'm trying to keep it straight and did a lot with it yesterday but it is kind of hurting today. Boooo to pain
Fact: I've Been Watching too Much Jersey Shore
What an experience blood work was today! Seriously, I was going to come on here and go off about how awful it was but it was a good thing the second part happened because it made up for the horrible customer service they had at the beginning.
Pops and I head on over to the office to get my blood work done. After walking up the slight incline, that felt like a mountain and going down to the office, we saw that the lady who draws blood was on lunch till 12:30. We had arrived around twenty five after so we figured no big deal waiting five minutes until I get the blood work done. Mind you last time we went I had the pleasure of getting Miss Sunshine as the person who drew my blood. The lady who had ZERO personality and was not friendly at all. To say I was looking forward to the appointment is a huge understatement because the lady just was not nice. Dad and I were cracking jokes the whole time getting to the appointment, but waited patiently enough for 12:30 to ring the bell so her lunch break would be done and I could get the work done.
At 12:30 we rang the bell, only to have Miss Sunshine appear at the window to tell us she is on her lunch till 1. My dad's replied that there was a sign on the window saying she was going to lunch until 12:30 and she said with such NICE grace that it had been really busy in the morning so she was going on her lunch now and she would be back at 1. Once she left the window to have that ever so important lunch, Dad and I looked at each other like what do we do now. It was a struggle for me to get down in the office, and there really isn't much I could do to kill time, so what the hell are we supposed to do in an empty office for a half hour.
Luckily Dad had to go to the store real quick so we went on the opposite side of town to accomplish that and then BACK to the office to attempt to get my blood drawn again. Now I was pissed, I have to get my blood drawn by some bitch (sorry Mom and other friends for the language but it's the best word to describe her) who gave me attitude not once but twice when I'm the one sick. It boogles my mind that someone who has to deal with sick people all the time can be so rude. Anyway, I was not looking forward to going up the mountain again, not looking forward to seeing the evil woman. And as we pull up to the office, there is an ambulance because I mean that would be my luck.
We go down to the office again and there ARE PEOPLE THERE. Now I am pissed because now there is a line when all I want to do is have it done and over with the first time we went there. We sit and wait, again, with the other people in the waiting room and a doctor came in asking who needed their blood drawn, forcing me to quickly raise my hand. LUCKILY, the lady who was drawing my blood was a different woman who was the sweetest lady in the world. She said she hoped to give me the numbers I wanted (which is 2.5) and that she normally has good luck with getting people what she wanted. I really liked her, she was so nice and personable, just the type of person who should be dealing with patients.
Anyway, now we wait to hear what the doctor says about my blood levels. I feel like this whole thing has turned into a waiting game which has gotten entirely too boring for my liking. But I guess if it's making me better I shouldn't be complaining.
Oh and after all the headaches from getting my blood drawn, as I was getting settled back into my royal bedchamber, there was a ring at the door. I got more flowers from one of my best friends. I am entirely thankful. They look absolutely beautiful and are sitting on my nightstand for now. I may have to more them though for the beverage table. That is highly important in today's world. Xoxoxox
Pops and I head on over to the office to get my blood work done. After walking up the slight incline, that felt like a mountain and going down to the office, we saw that the lady who draws blood was on lunch till 12:30. We had arrived around twenty five after so we figured no big deal waiting five minutes until I get the blood work done. Mind you last time we went I had the pleasure of getting Miss Sunshine as the person who drew my blood. The lady who had ZERO personality and was not friendly at all. To say I was looking forward to the appointment is a huge understatement because the lady just was not nice. Dad and I were cracking jokes the whole time getting to the appointment, but waited patiently enough for 12:30 to ring the bell so her lunch break would be done and I could get the work done.
At 12:30 we rang the bell, only to have Miss Sunshine appear at the window to tell us she is on her lunch till 1. My dad's replied that there was a sign on the window saying she was going to lunch until 12:30 and she said with such NICE grace that it had been really busy in the morning so she was going on her lunch now and she would be back at 1. Once she left the window to have that ever so important lunch, Dad and I looked at each other like what do we do now. It was a struggle for me to get down in the office, and there really isn't much I could do to kill time, so what the hell are we supposed to do in an empty office for a half hour.
Luckily Dad had to go to the store real quick so we went on the opposite side of town to accomplish that and then BACK to the office to attempt to get my blood drawn again. Now I was pissed, I have to get my blood drawn by some bitch (sorry Mom and other friends for the language but it's the best word to describe her) who gave me attitude not once but twice when I'm the one sick. It boogles my mind that someone who has to deal with sick people all the time can be so rude. Anyway, I was not looking forward to going up the mountain again, not looking forward to seeing the evil woman. And as we pull up to the office, there is an ambulance because I mean that would be my luck.
We go down to the office again and there ARE PEOPLE THERE. Now I am pissed because now there is a line when all I want to do is have it done and over with the first time we went there. We sit and wait, again, with the other people in the waiting room and a doctor came in asking who needed their blood drawn, forcing me to quickly raise my hand. LUCKILY, the lady who was drawing my blood was a different woman who was the sweetest lady in the world. She said she hoped to give me the numbers I wanted (which is 2.5) and that she normally has good luck with getting people what she wanted. I really liked her, she was so nice and personable, just the type of person who should be dealing with patients.
Anyway, now we wait to hear what the doctor says about my blood levels. I feel like this whole thing has turned into a waiting game which has gotten entirely too boring for my liking. But I guess if it's making me better I shouldn't be complaining.
Oh and after all the headaches from getting my blood drawn, as I was getting settled back into my royal bedchamber, there was a ring at the door. I got more flowers from one of my best friends. I am entirely thankful. They look absolutely beautiful and are sitting on my nightstand for now. I may have to more them though for the beverage table. That is highly important in today's world. Xoxoxox
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
You are too Young to be in Here
So the doctor I was freaking out about last night? Totally not necessary because he was amazing.
First I was the youngest person in the waiting room which goes to show you this thing does not happen to almost 24 year olds. But after some waiting, we went into see the doctor and he turned out to be one of the nicest doctors I have ever had. Ever.
He walked into the room telling me I was too young to be there; that there must be some mistake in the charts. Unfortunately there was none but he quickly eased my worries and told me that I should not be concerned because while it shouldn't happen to someone my age, it was treatable. In the discussions throughout the appointment, I found out I had multiple blood clots; maybe I knew this and buried it deep in my mind, or maybe I honestly didn't hear her when she told us at the hospital. But there are multiple blood clots in my leg that the doctor believes came about because of dehydration from my stomach bug. When I told him that I had been sick before this all started, he said that there was no question the blood clots formed from dehydration.
He told me that the shots in my stomach will end when the other medicine level reaches 2.5. He also seemed to believe that I won't need to be on the other medicine for a whole year but who knows with that one. I'm going to see him again in two weeks to get an ultra sound again on my leg to see the difference between the one from the hospital and the one in the future. He also tried to get me to stand on my leg which he was on some serious drugs about, but I did stand and try to put my leg down as much as I could which was painful. In the coming days/weeks though, he wants me to try to get the clots to break down.
Let's see what else because I feel like I am leaving out a ton of information which is not a good thing. I'm glad I got the reassurance that everything will be fine over and over again. We asked about the blood clot moving to my lungs and he told me not to worry about that at all because that is something that happens within the first 24 hours. That would have been nice to have known last week but I mean, I guess it's good to know now because I will no longer worry about the blood clots coming to my lungs.
Today I got to visit everyone from work when we went to get numbing cream for the shots. Let's all let out a sigh of relief for that one because I have never looked forward to something more. But seeing everyone at work made me super excited because I miss everyone so much and even the hustle and bustle of dealing with all the customers. One of the regular customers told me I had to stop kicking my boyfriend because that's what happens when I kick my boyfriend. I could only help but laugh.
Tomorrow is more blood and seeing the regular doctor. I just hope whoever takes my blood is nice this time and not so standoffish like the last visit. I also hope we are told I don't need these stupid shots anymore because when that happens I will be dancing for joy. Okay, maybe not actually dancing but I may have to bust out some moves.
Thanks once again for everyone's concern and well wishes. It really means the world to me.
First I was the youngest person in the waiting room which goes to show you this thing does not happen to almost 24 year olds. But after some waiting, we went into see the doctor and he turned out to be one of the nicest doctors I have ever had. Ever.
He walked into the room telling me I was too young to be there; that there must be some mistake in the charts. Unfortunately there was none but he quickly eased my worries and told me that I should not be concerned because while it shouldn't happen to someone my age, it was treatable. In the discussions throughout the appointment, I found out I had multiple blood clots; maybe I knew this and buried it deep in my mind, or maybe I honestly didn't hear her when she told us at the hospital. But there are multiple blood clots in my leg that the doctor believes came about because of dehydration from my stomach bug. When I told him that I had been sick before this all started, he said that there was no question the blood clots formed from dehydration.
He told me that the shots in my stomach will end when the other medicine level reaches 2.5. He also seemed to believe that I won't need to be on the other medicine for a whole year but who knows with that one. I'm going to see him again in two weeks to get an ultra sound again on my leg to see the difference between the one from the hospital and the one in the future. He also tried to get me to stand on my leg which he was on some serious drugs about, but I did stand and try to put my leg down as much as I could which was painful. In the coming days/weeks though, he wants me to try to get the clots to break down.
Let's see what else because I feel like I am leaving out a ton of information which is not a good thing. I'm glad I got the reassurance that everything will be fine over and over again. We asked about the blood clot moving to my lungs and he told me not to worry about that at all because that is something that happens within the first 24 hours. That would have been nice to have known last week but I mean, I guess it's good to know now because I will no longer worry about the blood clots coming to my lungs.
Today I got to visit everyone from work when we went to get numbing cream for the shots. Let's all let out a sigh of relief for that one because I have never looked forward to something more. But seeing everyone at work made me super excited because I miss everyone so much and even the hustle and bustle of dealing with all the customers. One of the regular customers told me I had to stop kicking my boyfriend because that's what happens when I kick my boyfriend. I could only help but laugh.
Tomorrow is more blood and seeing the regular doctor. I just hope whoever takes my blood is nice this time and not so standoffish like the last visit. I also hope we are told I don't need these stupid shots anymore because when that happens I will be dancing for joy. Okay, maybe not actually dancing but I may have to bust out some moves.
Thanks once again for everyone's concern and well wishes. It really means the world to me.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Late Night is Not Good for Thinking
I'm scared.
I can't fall asleep tonight and tomorrow I have an appointment at a new doctor. Every creak or sound in my body I'm exaggerating to something bigger and it's not letting me get a piece of mind enough to get a good night sleep.
Essentially I just want to feel better. I would never wish this on my worse enemy because it just leaves you hurting and helpless. I can barely do anything by myself, and the only time I feel happy is when someone is home, and I can hear whoever walking up the stairs towards my room to check on me. I look forward to when my mom crawls into bed with me to just lay down and talk about her day or when my dad sits by my bedside to rub my back. But I would give that away in a heart beat if everything I have been dealing with the past two weeks go away. This blood clot has been here a week and a half but I had a stomach bug before that, which still has it's remaining effects to this day.
I strongly believe that the most dangerous time for me is at night when I can't fall asleep. I daydream bad things and that's not good for me. I'm a worrier to begin with, I do not need to add to this problem. I know I could easily call my dad and he would talk me down right now, Mom too, but they have work early in the morning. This already is taking such a toll on them, I don't want to be even more of a burden.
This is just a really silly post of me being scared before the doctors and not being able to fall asleep. I know they are going to tell me something that will fix me. But even if I'm turning 24 at the end of the month, I am still a very scared little girl, just wanting to get better already.
I can't fall asleep tonight and tomorrow I have an appointment at a new doctor. Every creak or sound in my body I'm exaggerating to something bigger and it's not letting me get a piece of mind enough to get a good night sleep.
Essentially I just want to feel better. I would never wish this on my worse enemy because it just leaves you hurting and helpless. I can barely do anything by myself, and the only time I feel happy is when someone is home, and I can hear whoever walking up the stairs towards my room to check on me. I look forward to when my mom crawls into bed with me to just lay down and talk about her day or when my dad sits by my bedside to rub my back. But I would give that away in a heart beat if everything I have been dealing with the past two weeks go away. This blood clot has been here a week and a half but I had a stomach bug before that, which still has it's remaining effects to this day.
I strongly believe that the most dangerous time for me is at night when I can't fall asleep. I daydream bad things and that's not good for me. I'm a worrier to begin with, I do not need to add to this problem. I know I could easily call my dad and he would talk me down right now, Mom too, but they have work early in the morning. This already is taking such a toll on them, I don't want to be even more of a burden.
This is just a really silly post of me being scared before the doctors and not being able to fall asleep. I know they are going to tell me something that will fix me. But even if I'm turning 24 at the end of the month, I am still a very scared little girl, just wanting to get better already.
Fully stocked nightstand. Seriously there is always at least three different beverages on this table at a time. Plus the really cute card my dad got me yesterday.
Visitor for the day or she is just very antsy to go outside, which won't be happening on my watch
Hottest ride ever. Seriously has been the BIGGEST life saver I have ever had. Only downside according to Amy is it's depressing.
Beautiful flowers and balloons from some of my amazing friends at work. I look directly at it and once in a while get a pretty smell of them
Figured pictures would work well for this post just cause I'm kind of lazy today and don't really want to write out a full update on a whole lot of nothing. But these pictures represent my setting for the past week and a half-almost two weeks. Xoxox
Monday, January 3, 2011
Doctor Update
Three posts in 24 hours....must be a record.
No doctor's appointment for this little girl today, but I do have some news.
On Wednesday, I get to go to a doctor to try to figure out why I got the blood clot. I don't remember what type of doctor it is, but it is in town and hopefully he will be able to tell me why I got this blood clot about a week ago. Who knows if I will actually get any real answers, but it's going to be an appointment with a doctor who may know something.
On Thursday, I get to get more blood work done....yayyyy! Kidding. My dad finally talked to the doctor today and she said one of my medicine levels are not up to par with what they were supposed to be. So she said we have to increase my medicine to a pill and a half and see on Thursday if something has changed. Let's cross our fingers that something does.
Plus side is that my leg doesn't hurt nearly as much as it has had. I'm happy about that.
No doctor's appointment for this little girl today, but I do have some news.
On Wednesday, I get to go to a doctor to try to figure out why I got the blood clot. I don't remember what type of doctor it is, but it is in town and hopefully he will be able to tell me why I got this blood clot about a week ago. Who knows if I will actually get any real answers, but it's going to be an appointment with a doctor who may know something.
On Thursday, I get to get more blood work done....yayyyy! Kidding. My dad finally talked to the doctor today and she said one of my medicine levels are not up to par with what they were supposed to be. So she said we have to increase my medicine to a pill and a half and see on Thursday if something has changed. Let's cross our fingers that something does.
Plus side is that my leg doesn't hurt nearly as much as it has had. I'm happy about that.
Yesterday I realized how scared I was about this whole thing. I don't know what came over me, but I asked my dad if he thinks I'm going to be okay. He said of course, no hesitation in his answer. Me, however? I'm terrified. I don't know why I am so scared but I think it hit me that even after this thing leaves me, there is a possibility of it coming back. And the recovery after this is fixed is going to be so long that I don't kow how I'm going to survive eight hour shifts at work.
Not only was I nervous last night but I woke up an hour after falling asleep to a flaky feeling on my hands. I turned on my overhead light to see blood on the palms of my hands and when I went to touch my face, I swore there was more blood. I looked in a mirror to double check and my face was clear but there was a smear of dry blood on my stomach. It was like a terrible nightmare; I was told I could not get a cut because if I did, they weren't sure if the blood would clot and here I was with blood all over me after I had slept for an hour.
Luckily Mom heard me in the hallway getting a washcloth, so she came in and cleaned me up but it really got me nervous. I'm on these blood thinners for a year, what happens if I really do cut myself, and not accidentally touching a scab from a shot I have to take. So of course the rest of the night I could not sleep and kept checking myself every hour to make sure I hadn't started to bleed again.
Okay enough of this feeling bad for myself.....I may have a doctor's appointment today which would be nice although I would have blood drawn which is not so nice. If you know anyone who may want to read this, you are more then welcome to pass it on. I know on New Years people expressed interest in getting updated, I'm just too lazy to send it out again. I hope everyone has a wonderful first day back from work, strangely I would give anything to be fine and be at work dealing with people all day.
Not only was I nervous last night but I woke up an hour after falling asleep to a flaky feeling on my hands. I turned on my overhead light to see blood on the palms of my hands and when I went to touch my face, I swore there was more blood. I looked in a mirror to double check and my face was clear but there was a smear of dry blood on my stomach. It was like a terrible nightmare; I was told I could not get a cut because if I did, they weren't sure if the blood would clot and here I was with blood all over me after I had slept for an hour.
Luckily Mom heard me in the hallway getting a washcloth, so she came in and cleaned me up but it really got me nervous. I'm on these blood thinners for a year, what happens if I really do cut myself, and not accidentally touching a scab from a shot I have to take. So of course the rest of the night I could not sleep and kept checking myself every hour to make sure I hadn't started to bleed again.
Okay enough of this feeling bad for myself.....I may have a doctor's appointment today which would be nice although I would have blood drawn which is not so nice. If you know anyone who may want to read this, you are more then welcome to pass it on. I know on New Years people expressed interest in getting updated, I'm just too lazy to send it out again. I hope everyone has a wonderful first day back from work, strangely I would give anything to be fine and be at work dealing with people all day.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year
I've thought I was Superman the past two days but my goodness, I am feeling the effects of New Years still, and I didn't have a drop of alcohol.
My friends were the most amazing people they could be under the circumstances. They cooked, they moved things around, they got stuff from downstairs to upstairs, they checked on me all the time, and they even wheeled me around when I needed it. I didn't think it was possible but I swear Meghan was worse then my parents when it came to checking up on me, which is the reason why I love her so much. I actually got to eat some stuff which did kind of hurt my stomach but it tasted soooo good that I didn't even care. I enjoyed myself, kept my foot up when I was in the wheelchair, and spent the night on the blue sofa when I wasn't in the wheelchair. I followed all the rules I was given by the parentals and it was a success.
At midnight, I couldn't go downstairs because it would have been too painful. There were plenty of offers to carry me downstairs but I was not going to be putting my life in the hands of people who had been drinking (love you all dearly but it was not happening) so I ended up watching it in my room with Amy, Tom, Andy and Meghan. It made me smile; they were all troopers to not be with everyone else but I don't know if they realize how much that meant to me.
Yesterday, however, I paid for sitting up the whole night. Where everyone else felt like they got hit by a truck due to hangovers, I felt like I got hit by a truck because I was sitting for hours on end. I never realized how my body is going to be affected by staying in bed all day, but did I feel the after effects yesterday, and am not looking forward to the recovery of that. My whole body hurt, parts of my body I had no idea why it should hurt. I slept most of the day and eventually at night the pain was over, just in time for the UCONN football game. Meghan, Amy, Shannon and Andy came over to watch the game. Or really Andy and I watched the game while the girls came to keep me company. We piled into my tiny room, they had ice cream while they got me chicken fingers from Friendlys. I was a happy little girl. They ended up leaving before the fourth quarter began because it had been another long day and Meggo could tell I was tired. And once again this morning, I woke up so swore because I overextended myself.
Today was a day of recovery. While I was looking forward to a visit from Teddi and Katelyn, I realized it was probably not the best idea and had to unfortunately cancel it. When it's two days in a row that my whole body hurts, I don't want to exert myself more to put myself in pain later. I've kept food down even though I had an upset stomach in the middle of the day. I also went through six hours without having to take a pain pill which is something I was highly proud of, even if I spent most of the day sleeping.
Shortly it's going to be my least favorite time of the day, the time for the shots in my stomach. My mom had to go get some more today from work and I was planning on going with her, but wanted to take it easy for the day instead. So instead of seeing all my friends from work, I heard about how I seem to be very missed there. But the shots are coming which makes me really anxious especially because they have started to leave bruises on my stomach now. It's no longer giving the botox look but instead just battle scars. I'll update more whenever there is something to update. Tomorrow I think I have a doctors appointment and blood work but I'll know if that's for certain tomorrow. Love you all
My friends were the most amazing people they could be under the circumstances. They cooked, they moved things around, they got stuff from downstairs to upstairs, they checked on me all the time, and they even wheeled me around when I needed it. I didn't think it was possible but I swear Meghan was worse then my parents when it came to checking up on me, which is the reason why I love her so much. I actually got to eat some stuff which did kind of hurt my stomach but it tasted soooo good that I didn't even care. I enjoyed myself, kept my foot up when I was in the wheelchair, and spent the night on the blue sofa when I wasn't in the wheelchair. I followed all the rules I was given by the parentals and it was a success.
At midnight, I couldn't go downstairs because it would have been too painful. There were plenty of offers to carry me downstairs but I was not going to be putting my life in the hands of people who had been drinking (love you all dearly but it was not happening) so I ended up watching it in my room with Amy, Tom, Andy and Meghan. It made me smile; they were all troopers to not be with everyone else but I don't know if they realize how much that meant to me.
Yesterday, however, I paid for sitting up the whole night. Where everyone else felt like they got hit by a truck due to hangovers, I felt like I got hit by a truck because I was sitting for hours on end. I never realized how my body is going to be affected by staying in bed all day, but did I feel the after effects yesterday, and am not looking forward to the recovery of that. My whole body hurt, parts of my body I had no idea why it should hurt. I slept most of the day and eventually at night the pain was over, just in time for the UCONN football game. Meghan, Amy, Shannon and Andy came over to watch the game. Or really Andy and I watched the game while the girls came to keep me company. We piled into my tiny room, they had ice cream while they got me chicken fingers from Friendlys. I was a happy little girl. They ended up leaving before the fourth quarter began because it had been another long day and Meggo could tell I was tired. And once again this morning, I woke up so swore because I overextended myself.
Today was a day of recovery. While I was looking forward to a visit from Teddi and Katelyn, I realized it was probably not the best idea and had to unfortunately cancel it. When it's two days in a row that my whole body hurts, I don't want to exert myself more to put myself in pain later. I've kept food down even though I had an upset stomach in the middle of the day. I also went through six hours without having to take a pain pill which is something I was highly proud of, even if I spent most of the day sleeping.
Shortly it's going to be my least favorite time of the day, the time for the shots in my stomach. My mom had to go get some more today from work and I was planning on going with her, but wanted to take it easy for the day instead. So instead of seeing all my friends from work, I heard about how I seem to be very missed there. But the shots are coming which makes me really anxious especially because they have started to leave bruises on my stomach now. It's no longer giving the botox look but instead just battle scars. I'll update more whenever there is something to update. Tomorrow I think I have a doctors appointment and blood work but I'll know if that's for certain tomorrow. Love you all
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