May Angels Lead You In...

My heart has hurt immensely since Friday afternoon.

I wish I could express everything I have been feeling in this blog, but I can't.  I don't have any ties to Newtown, other then a few people I went to college with having a connection to the school distract.  

This has hit so close to home though.  I like to believe that our town is similar to Newtown in that small town feel.  Everyone seems to know everyone here and everyone has grown up with each other.  Coming in at 8th grade, it was weird to see how close everyone was, and from what I have seen on the news, Newtown is the same type of town.

There are no words though for the tragedy that happened at Sandy Hook elementary school on Friday morning.  I was glued to my television all day Friday as most people throughout our state, country, and even the world.

The fact that these small children had their innocence ripped away in such a short time is the biggest tragedy of it all.  All of these children have grown up beyond their years on Friday.  I am so impressed with the courage that every person in that school has presented to the world, from each of those children at the school, to the teachers, to the staff, and the emergency personnel, and all the parents and friends and family of those in that school. Something like this just shows how much other people can step up and be the best type of people during the worst circumstances.

Rest in peace to all those angels that lost their lives on Friday morning.  And stand strong to the town of Newtown.  You have a whole state supporting you no matter what.

Reasons to Love December.

It's beginning to look a lot like the holiday season. Here are a few things I love about December:

Untouched snow

Nights decorated by Christmas lights

Holiday parties with people you love

Giving gifts

Christmas music by Mariah, Britney and NSYNC.  Sorry those are some of my favorites

The food

Candy Cane Hershey Kisses

Capturing memories with pictures

Dressing up

The smell of a fire that lingers in the air (And I'm talking about a fireplace fire...)

Letter writing

Whatever makes you love December and this holiday season, I hope you are able to enjoy it with the people you love.  Maybe you will give a few of my suggestions a try.  Just embrace December but most importantly, be with the people who matter.

I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday filled with smiles, laughter, friends, family, things we are thankful for and of course, tons of food.

As this holiday season approaches, I can't help remember that two years ago, everything was beginning.  The end of my old old "normal and the transition of a new "normal" that I never thought I would get used to. 

However, I slowly am getting used to it....

I have started my taper for the steroids on Black Friday.  I did not want another miserable holiday and decided like Black Friday was a good a day as any to start decreasing some of my medication. After speaking with Dr. I, we determined we would try a faster taper then I'm used to, but it all depends on how my body becomes reacts to it.  For now though, that means I'm going down 10 mg every Friday until I'm done.  Which may mean I have the best Christmas present EVER.

Last week, I had to inject myself with two more of the Humira pens.  And I was so proud of myself for not needing someone to hold my hand while I did the whole thing by myself in my room.  Dad told me that if I ever think I can't fight, I need to remember that moment when I ran out to get high fives from Chris and Dad for doing the injections by myself.  Dad could tell I was so proud of myself, and knew I would eventually need to remember that I'm stronger then I think.  It's nice to have my family in my corner.

One more doctor's visit before the holidays and a few more blood tests I'm sure.  It's funny though.  In my new normal, I'm no longer terrified of needles or blood work.  Instead I'm the girl asking questions on why they take two tubes of blood.  And in my new normal?  I kick ass in giving myself injections.