The only reason I know what day it is is thanks to my pill dispenser.
Henry has been hurting today. Or more correct is my knee. Thankfully Tara let me leave work early today, because it just has NOT been working for me today.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
There Really Isn't a Dull Moment With You
A good family friend said the above quote to me this past Sunday when I told him about cutting my finger with the bread knife. He sort of laughed at me because he knew about Henry and this whole inside problems
That quote however perfectly embodies my life this afternoon.
After getting my blood drawn and being told I was not needed at work tonight, I realized what a beautiful day it was. I did not want to do the whole exercise thing without anyone home, ya know in case I get hurt, so I figured now that Mom was home, I could go for a little bike ride. Because it's beautiful ya know? WELP, in preparations for said bike ride, and to ease my mother's mind, I decided to make a little note on my hand.
I thought this would ease her mind a little, because in case anything WERE to happen to me, at least the EMTs would know that 1. I was on blood thinners and 2. That number could be called to help a girl out.
Overall it felt GREAT exercising again (first real time since the whole adventure began) although my legs KILLED after. You know when you live in the woods/suburbs when you go by roadkill which completely grossed me out. Luckily I was on a bike this time and not running by which I have done as well. I had to walk the bike up the hill. If you have ever been to my house, you would understand.
That quote however perfectly embodies my life this afternoon.
After getting my blood drawn and being told I was not needed at work tonight, I realized what a beautiful day it was. I did not want to do the whole exercise thing without anyone home, ya know in case I get hurt, so I figured now that Mom was home, I could go for a little bike ride. Because it's beautiful ya know? WELP, in preparations for said bike ride, and to ease my mother's mind, I decided to make a little note on my hand.
Final Four Bound
Uconn has two teams in the Final Four. And while the girl's basketball team was expected to do well in the tournament, it's the men team that has shocked the nation behind our star, Kemba Walker.
Okay, so I'm a typical Uconn fan who has too much pride in their team if they are fans of basketball. I know plenty of people who graduated from Uconn like myself and have no interest in our sports teams. But I have stuck by the team throughout the years, thanks to growing up watching the basketball games with my family.
The beginning of this year looked like 2006, where basically the whole team was freshmen and underclassmen with very little experience. Unlike 2006 though, we have Kemba Walker who has shocked all those who doubted us at the beginning of the year and brought the team not only the Big East Championship but now as the highest ranking team in the Final Four.
The reason this team has been so successful is due to Kemba Walker (Number 15 in the picture above). He basically dominates every game and his name comes up more so then any other player on the court. He is getting all sorts of awards this year and is on track to graduate early which more then likely means he's going to the NBA. Any fan should wish that he ends up staying but after the season he has had, he will be leaving. When I was a senior at Uconn, my roommate and I would talk about how he constantly messed up, dribbling into traffic and losing the ball. Now, he has learned to protect the ball and he makes shots that I can not believe actually go in.
Jeremy Lamb, the freshman pictured with Kemba, has become my favorite player on the team. Now all of the freshmen are pretty awesome, they are all really good players, and step up. HOWEVER, Lamb is a silent killer, he just does things amazingly with little to no reaction. See that face in the picture? That's the face he has when he just sinks a HUGE three, or even on news reports. He is NOT affected by the hype at all. Kemba has a confident swag about him, but Lamb's swag is so quiet that if you don't pay attention, you don't notice it.
Unlike most people who cheer for professional teams, I love college basketball. Saturday means Final Four time, with no teams who were expected to make it to the end are in the mix. And now I will be watching, with my friends more then likely laughing at me, at my favorite place on Saturday. Come enjoy the show on Saturday....
Okay, so I'm a typical Uconn fan who has too much pride in their team if they are fans of basketball. I know plenty of people who graduated from Uconn like myself and have no interest in our sports teams. But I have stuck by the team throughout the years, thanks to growing up watching the basketball games with my family.
Jeremy Lamb, the freshman pictured with Kemba, has become my favorite player on the team. Now all of the freshmen are pretty awesome, they are all really good players, and step up. HOWEVER, Lamb is a silent killer, he just does things amazingly with little to no reaction. See that face in the picture? That's the face he has when he just sinks a HUGE three, or even on news reports. He is NOT affected by the hype at all. Kemba has a confident swag about him, but Lamb's swag is so quiet that if you don't pay attention, you don't notice it.
Unlike most people who cheer for professional teams, I love college basketball. Saturday means Final Four time, with no teams who were expected to make it to the end are in the mix. And now I will be watching, with my friends more then likely laughing at me, at my favorite place on Saturday. Come enjoy the show on Saturday....
Monday, March 28, 2011
Long Live the Walls We Crashed Through I've Had the Time of My Life With You
Thank you.
No two simple worlds that contain more gratitude and emotion than my family or I can even begin to express. I can't speak for my family, but I can for me. And I can honestly say those two small English words can not begin to cover the gratefulness I could like to share with the people in my life.
As most of you know, or anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me, this year has been a very trying time. Go back many entries to the very first post, and as you continue to read this blog, you will dive into a terrified girl's world. Yes, I was over dramatic at times, but when I was down, I felt the hits kept coming.
Three months after this crazy journey began, I'm still not completely cured and do not know if I ever will be one hundred percent back to how I was. But I'm getting treated and better than I felt at the end of December.
But I wanted to take time not to update about silly blood work, or doctor's visits. I wanted to thank you. The person sitting at your computer reading this.
Throughout this journey, I do not know what I would have done without the support of my family, friends, people who love my parents that don't really know me. I have gotten cards, emails, text messages, posts, phone calls, visits and so much more well wishes that it literally shocked me. I always knew I was loved but this tough road proved it; I have some great people on my side.
The support is what got me through most of those early days. I became a hermit. Ashamed of what I was going through and at a loss of words to convey the seriousness of it all. When I was at a low, often one of you brought me back with a kind message that had been passed along. Happy/grateful tears almost always emerged. Ask my parents. I was a blubbering baby.
Speaking of, my two solid supports. Mom and Dad. They have been with me through it all, my rocks. I have not seen them cry once, and yet they have been there to wipe my tears away and provide a never ending hug. When I wanted to quit, they wouldn't let me and knowing they were by my side helped me continue. I know this whole thing has not been a walk in the park for them, I have been a pain in the ass a lot, have been unnecessarily mean due to frustration and the fact that they were there for me to take it out on. And yet they stayed next to me.
Mom and Dad, I love you more then you know and owe my sanity to you. I promise to not forget this when you guys get older. I owe you tons.
To my friends, near and far, thank you. Thank you for taking me out. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. Thank you for dealing with me when Henry flairs up. Thanks for getting me food. Even if it means getting yelled at by Meggie. Thank you for doing things for me when I was incapable of it. Thanks for listening and trying to understand. Thanks for the out of state visits and surprises. Thanks especially for just being you when I needed normality in my life.
This may seem like a final post to this blog, but it's not. I love writing, and sharing my writing with others. And let's face it, Henry and the insides have a lot of explaining to do. Once I'm off these silly blood thinners, that's when the real fun and tests begin. And while it's not going to be pretty, I hope you sometimes check back to see how this crazy roller coaster journey I'm on is going. I promise it won't be boring.
But I wanted to thank you all: my parents, brother, Nana, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, the Woodmont family, family friends, my friends, Mom and Dad's coworkers, bosses, coworkers, people who barely know me, and anyone who I may have accidentally forgot, thank you EVERYONE for your support and well wishes.
Thank you.
Those two simple words that I don't feel like can even begin to show my appreciation to all of you.
P.S. The title is from Long Live by Taylor Swift. Go check it out.
No two simple worlds that contain more gratitude and emotion than my family or I can even begin to express. I can't speak for my family, but I can for me. And I can honestly say those two small English words can not begin to cover the gratefulness I could like to share with the people in my life.
As most of you know, or anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me, this year has been a very trying time. Go back many entries to the very first post, and as you continue to read this blog, you will dive into a terrified girl's world. Yes, I was over dramatic at times, but when I was down, I felt the hits kept coming.
Three months after this crazy journey began, I'm still not completely cured and do not know if I ever will be one hundred percent back to how I was. But I'm getting treated and better than I felt at the end of December.
But I wanted to take time not to update about silly blood work, or doctor's visits. I wanted to thank you. The person sitting at your computer reading this.
Throughout this journey, I do not know what I would have done without the support of my family, friends, people who love my parents that don't really know me. I have gotten cards, emails, text messages, posts, phone calls, visits and so much more well wishes that it literally shocked me. I always knew I was loved but this tough road proved it; I have some great people on my side.
The support is what got me through most of those early days. I became a hermit. Ashamed of what I was going through and at a loss of words to convey the seriousness of it all. When I was at a low, often one of you brought me back with a kind message that had been passed along. Happy/grateful tears almost always emerged. Ask my parents. I was a blubbering baby.
Speaking of, my two solid supports. Mom and Dad. They have been with me through it all, my rocks. I have not seen them cry once, and yet they have been there to wipe my tears away and provide a never ending hug. When I wanted to quit, they wouldn't let me and knowing they were by my side helped me continue. I know this whole thing has not been a walk in the park for them, I have been a pain in the ass a lot, have been unnecessarily mean due to frustration and the fact that they were there for me to take it out on. And yet they stayed next to me.
Mom and Dad, I love you more then you know and owe my sanity to you. I promise to not forget this when you guys get older. I owe you tons.
To my friends, near and far, thank you. Thank you for taking me out. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. Thank you for dealing with me when Henry flairs up. Thanks for getting me food. Even if it means getting yelled at by Meggie. Thank you for doing things for me when I was incapable of it. Thanks for listening and trying to understand. Thanks for the out of state visits and surprises. Thanks especially for just being you when I needed normality in my life.
This may seem like a final post to this blog, but it's not. I love writing, and sharing my writing with others. And let's face it, Henry and the insides have a lot of explaining to do. Once I'm off these silly blood thinners, that's when the real fun and tests begin. And while it's not going to be pretty, I hope you sometimes check back to see how this crazy roller coaster journey I'm on is going. I promise it won't be boring.
But I wanted to thank you all: my parents, brother, Nana, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, the Woodmont family, family friends, my friends, Mom and Dad's coworkers, bosses, coworkers, people who barely know me, and anyone who I may have accidentally forgot, thank you EVERYONE for your support and well wishes.
Thank you.
Those two simple words that I don't feel like can even begin to show my appreciation to all of you.
P.S. The title is from Long Live by Taylor Swift. Go check it out.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The New Normal
Dad told me the other day I have to start getting used to the new normal.
With the start of spring upon us, I have to begin to become comfortable with my new normal. This means regular doctor's visits and blood work to be done. This means having my doctors programed into my phone. I am pretty sure I am the only one amongst my friends who has doctors programed into their cell phones.
This means having my medication in a weekly pill dispenser. New normal means having to double check every time I leave the house that I have my medicines, especially my blood thinners around dinner time.
It means standing in the kitchen beginning to cry when you accidently cut your finger when cutting rolls for dinner. This just occurred. I tried to keep my tears in and let Mom and Dad get food while I stood there with a napkin wrapped around my finger. Don't worry kids, the cut was similar to a paper cut, but it was still heart stopping.
My new normal is not something I'm happy to try to become comfortable with. But I guess being uncomfortable is the reason why I have a new normal. I just hope that eventually I don't have to take so many pills, or have to worry about getting cuts.
PS GO UCONN
With the start of spring upon us, I have to begin to become comfortable with my new normal. This means regular doctor's visits and blood work to be done. This means having my doctors programed into my phone. I am pretty sure I am the only one amongst my friends who has doctors programed into their cell phones.
This means having my medication in a weekly pill dispenser. New normal means having to double check every time I leave the house that I have my medicines, especially my blood thinners around dinner time.
It means standing in the kitchen beginning to cry when you accidently cut your finger when cutting rolls for dinner. This just occurred. I tried to keep my tears in and let Mom and Dad get food while I stood there with a napkin wrapped around my finger. Don't worry kids, the cut was similar to a paper cut, but it was still heart stopping.
My new normal is not something I'm happy to try to become comfortable with. But I guess being uncomfortable is the reason why I have a new normal. I just hope that eventually I don't have to take so many pills, or have to worry about getting cuts.
PS GO UCONN
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Might As Well Start Another Book
Last night I could not fall asleep. I had finished Assholes Finish First earlier in the night, and there was nothing good on television. Between the hours of two and four there is nothing on. Trust me.
My mom had been reading a book that I read a review about in People magazine. It is the complete opposite of the Tucker Max story. If Tucker Max was everything awful about our society, this next book I wanted to read was all about hope for our society, told from a father of a four year old boy.
I started it last night. Finished it this afternoon. To say this book was amazing is an understatement. Maybe I liked it more because I have been going through this very difficult journey and have questioned why this all was happening to me. Todd let's us into his family during this quick read during one of the most trying and learning years of their lives. Okay, maybe it wasn't really the most learning years of their life, but I feel like their then four year old son has taught them, along with anyone who reads this story, a lot about believing in God and heaven.
I don't know if people who aren't really religious will enjoy this book but I really do want to recommend it to the people who read this. I'm not overly religious; I do believe in God and Heaven and everything but I unfortunately do not go to Church every week like I'm supposed to. This book however made me realize that things happen for a reason and even those who have a close relationship with God sometimes question why they are put under the pressure and tests that God presents us all. After reading this, I want to meet Colton, who is now in middle school, to just shake his hand and tell him that this story could not come out at a better time. For a girl who has been questioning why she is going through things, I am extremely thankful that I was able to read this book and learn from it.
While it's not something my mother or I owns, I would seriously consider purchasing this book for the future in the event that I just need reassurance that things do happen for a reason. Who knew a four year old from the mid West would be one of my biggest teachers of the year.
My mom had been reading a book that I read a review about in People magazine. It is the complete opposite of the Tucker Max story. If Tucker Max was everything awful about our society, this next book I wanted to read was all about hope for our society, told from a father of a four year old boy.
I don't know if people who aren't really religious will enjoy this book but I really do want to recommend it to the people who read this. I'm not overly religious; I do believe in God and Heaven and everything but I unfortunately do not go to Church every week like I'm supposed to. This book however made me realize that things happen for a reason and even those who have a close relationship with God sometimes question why they are put under the pressure and tests that God presents us all. After reading this, I want to meet Colton, who is now in middle school, to just shake his hand and tell him that this story could not come out at a better time. For a girl who has been questioning why she is going through things, I am extremely thankful that I was able to read this book and learn from it.
While it's not something my mother or I owns, I would seriously consider purchasing this book for the future in the event that I just need reassurance that things do happen for a reason. Who knew a four year old from the mid West would be one of my biggest teachers of the year.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It's Charming to Do Three Posts in a Day
Remember a few weeks back, when I posted a rant about my different doctors? At least I believe I posted it, it may have just been a rant to my parents and friends, and never made it to the blog. But I was annoyed with my doctors because I had three doctors who were not talking to one another to try to figure out what is/was wrong with me. For the sick patient, it was extremely difficult to go to each doctor and have to reexplain everything going on with me, and have to hold their hands because they aren't communicating.
Unfortunately, I seem to be dealing with a similar situation right now that has nothing to do with my medical issues. Well actually, there is always the possibility that I have that going on but I'm not aware of it at this moment. Nope at this moment, I have this stupid non communication going on causing me headache, even though it should have been all figured out before I was ever told anything.
Basically I'm not going to have a day off for until the following week. And I don't mean this one coming up. And while I would be fine with this if I was making more money, right now I'm not. Right now I'm dealing with miscommunication again and instead of people of authority figuring it out before bringing information to me, I have to figure it out. I don't want to really do that, but in order for my own well being, I have to.
I know life is not easy, but to not give any details, to just throw someone in something without explaining any real details to anyone, ESPECIALLY me, it's not fair.
I'm going to wear myself out. I'm going to stress myself out and make myself feel worse. And I'm sorry I'm number one in this case. And I'm not planning on doing it. I just do not want to be pulled in two different directions.
Unfortunately, I seem to be dealing with a similar situation right now that has nothing to do with my medical issues. Well actually, there is always the possibility that I have that going on but I'm not aware of it at this moment. Nope at this moment, I have this stupid non communication going on causing me headache, even though it should have been all figured out before I was ever told anything.
Basically I'm not going to have a day off for until the following week. And I don't mean this one coming up. And while I would be fine with this if I was making more money, right now I'm not. Right now I'm dealing with miscommunication again and instead of people of authority figuring it out before bringing information to me, I have to figure it out. I don't want to really do that, but in order for my own well being, I have to.
I know life is not easy, but to not give any details, to just throw someone in something without explaining any real details to anyone, ESPECIALLY me, it's not fair.
I'm going to wear myself out. I'm going to stress myself out and make myself feel worse. And I'm sorry I'm number one in this case. And I'm not planning on doing it. I just do not want to be pulled in two different directions.
That Was Bold
There was a lady waiting in the waiting room when I was getting my blood work done. She smiled at me, and after a minute she asked if I was okay. She said "You don't look so well. Are you sick?"
In my head, I was laughing hysterically. That is a bold question because she is basically saying I look like crap. I mean, I am getting over a cold, so I know I don't look amazing. But leaving the house today did I think I looked terrible? Absolutely not.
So I turned to the lady, and smiled. "Not really. I guess I'm getting over a cold so maybe that's why I don't look so good."
Since working in retail with many older people as customers, I have realized that older people are extremely bold. Sometimes to a point of being rude. And I'm not sure if they realize that it is rude or if they just have no regard to how it makes the other person feel because they have got to an age that they feel like they are exempt. And while most of the time I smile at the people and try to be polite, I really just want to ask them really? Cause it's just really rude a lot of the time.
In my head, I was laughing hysterically. That is a bold question because she is basically saying I look like crap. I mean, I am getting over a cold, so I know I don't look amazing. But leaving the house today did I think I looked terrible? Absolutely not.
So I turned to the lady, and smiled. "Not really. I guess I'm getting over a cold so maybe that's why I don't look so good."
Since working in retail with many older people as customers, I have realized that older people are extremely bold. Sometimes to a point of being rude. And I'm not sure if they realize that it is rude or if they just have no regard to how it makes the other person feel because they have got to an age that they feel like they are exempt. And while most of the time I smile at the people and try to be polite, I really just want to ask them really? Cause it's just really rude a lot of the time.
Insert Ranting Title About the Snow Today
Right now, my younger brother is in warm Miami while it's snowing in Connecticut. It's fine. I'm not bitter at all.
Today I get to have some blood work done. YAYYYY. I can not WAIT till I don't have to do this weekly blood work. You know it's bad when the lady no longer asks for your name and knows exactly where your paper work is in the folder. But it was the bitch lady that I had spoken about all those weeks ago and she has grown a personality. At least she is more talkative and isn't such a bitch. Thinking about it now though, maybe she wasn't so much a bitch but I was just overly sensitive. Who knows.
My knee seems to be a little swollen today. Either it's from standing while at work last night, or it's just I don't know what I'm seeing and beginning to see problems that do not exist. I'm leaning more towards the second one.
PS Let's talk about all the bad things happening around here. A dead body found in a park on the town line. Then someone killed by a bus up at my old school. Crazy crazy news within a day. Not a fan at all.
Today I get to have some blood work done. YAYYYY. I can not WAIT till I don't have to do this weekly blood work. You know it's bad when the lady no longer asks for your name and knows exactly where your paper work is in the folder. But it was the bitch lady that I had spoken about all those weeks ago and she has grown a personality. At least she is more talkative and isn't such a bitch. Thinking about it now though, maybe she wasn't so much a bitch but I was just overly sensitive. Who knows.
My knee seems to be a little swollen today. Either it's from standing while at work last night, or it's just I don't know what I'm seeing and beginning to see problems that do not exist. I'm leaning more towards the second one.
PS Let's talk about all the bad things happening around here. A dead body found in a park on the town line. Then someone killed by a bus up at my old school. Crazy crazy news within a day. Not a fan at all.
Monday, March 21, 2011
I'm a Nerd, and I'm Okay With That
Confession time. I am a huge book nerd. I love to read. If I had tons of money, I would probably spend most of it on books. I want my collection to grow, but don't have the money and/or space to do so. But I love to read. It's an addiction.
The other night I text messaged Brendan because I am reading a book that I feel like our friends would find hilarious. And while I was reading this, I thought how Brendan would truly enjoy my current read. When he heard the title, I think he understood. The book is not something I would recommend to my mother, or any adults in my life because well, it's the sick humor that my generation seems to enjoy. The book? Assholes Finish First by the one and only Tucker Max.
If you ever heard of Tucker Max you will understand he is a horrible human being who seems to have zero redeeming qualities. Or if you are a guy, he is God-like. I enjoy his sense of humor, the fact that he will talk up all his drunken nights and hook up to make himself seem awesome. He states constantly "I am the greatest human being alive" or sentiments of that sort. Now being a girl, I should hate this book and the way Max treats women. But honestly, I find it hilarious. I have laughed out loud way too often while reading this and can not wait to pass along this book to along to Brendan and Shannon and the rest of my friends so we have something to joke about when the Jersey Shore ends.
From one side of the spectrun to the next, if Assholes Finish First is a book without any morals and emotions, my next recommendation is for those who love summertime reads. These are the books that do not take much thought while reading, that you can bring down to the beach with you and are going to enjoy fully because it's about girlfriends and relationships and all that good stuff. For me, these are the types of novels that I absolutely adore unfortunately and tend to read a lot.
Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin has now placed itself on my most favorite books. To say I could not put it down would be a complete understatement. When I was at work, I wondered what was happening in Rachel's world. Crazy right? Anyway, I think part of the reason I loved this book so much was how much I related to Rachel. She is the girl who tends to be overlooked and while she loves her life, she sometimes does not see her full potential. This story is all about relationships. The ones you have with your long time friends, the romantic relationships and the most important relationship of them all: the one with yourself. The book continues on from the point of view of Rachel's best friend Darcy in Something Blue. While I enjoyed that book as well, I could not connect so much with Darcy. Griffin writes wonderfully honest stories and explores relationships in a honest way that many writers try to do but fail.
Meggie has another book of hers that she is going to let me borrow that I am so excited to try reading. In fact, the day of the parade when I had time to spare after getting ready, I sat in the middle of Meg's room and started to read it. Yes, I'm that big of a dork.
The last book I have read recently is This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. I picked this up at Borders when I went on a little shopping spree and bought it because the back sounded interesting and I thought I read a review about it in People magazine. Now this is not the typical book I read, but I do recommend anyone who reads this to pick it up at the library or borrow mine. The book is about family dynamics. Family is family and this book shows that there can be several different personalities within a family that can clash when they must spend a week together. This book is also funny. Not similar to Tucker Max but in a way that I laughed thinking this is exactly what would happen if someone wrote a story about my family having to spend 24/7 with each other for a week. I loved the way Tropper brought sarcasm during a tragedy, and how underneath all the snarky remarks the siblings said to one another, you can tell there was love there.
I think I'm going to continue this little book update thing every once in a while. I was going to post pictures of the books, because while the saying says don't judge a book by it's cover, I totally do. But then I decided that would be a little silly and something that you all may not like. These three books are pretty awesome, not for everyone that reads this blog. While I was bed ridden, I didn't read nearly as much as my mother thought I would, but I was enjoying throwing myself a pity party. Unfortunately with my love of reading, I tend to jump into a story fast, and read it wicked quick. So these may be more frequent then you think.
The other night I text messaged Brendan because I am reading a book that I feel like our friends would find hilarious. And while I was reading this, I thought how Brendan would truly enjoy my current read. When he heard the title, I think he understood. The book is not something I would recommend to my mother, or any adults in my life because well, it's the sick humor that my generation seems to enjoy. The book? Assholes Finish First by the one and only Tucker Max.
If you ever heard of Tucker Max you will understand he is a horrible human being who seems to have zero redeeming qualities. Or if you are a guy, he is God-like. I enjoy his sense of humor, the fact that he will talk up all his drunken nights and hook up to make himself seem awesome. He states constantly "I am the greatest human being alive" or sentiments of that sort. Now being a girl, I should hate this book and the way Max treats women. But honestly, I find it hilarious. I have laughed out loud way too often while reading this and can not wait to pass along this book to along to Brendan and Shannon and the rest of my friends so we have something to joke about when the Jersey Shore ends.
From one side of the spectrun to the next, if Assholes Finish First is a book without any morals and emotions, my next recommendation is for those who love summertime reads. These are the books that do not take much thought while reading, that you can bring down to the beach with you and are going to enjoy fully because it's about girlfriends and relationships and all that good stuff. For me, these are the types of novels that I absolutely adore unfortunately and tend to read a lot.
Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin has now placed itself on my most favorite books. To say I could not put it down would be a complete understatement. When I was at work, I wondered what was happening in Rachel's world. Crazy right? Anyway, I think part of the reason I loved this book so much was how much I related to Rachel. She is the girl who tends to be overlooked and while she loves her life, she sometimes does not see her full potential. This story is all about relationships. The ones you have with your long time friends, the romantic relationships and the most important relationship of them all: the one with yourself. The book continues on from the point of view of Rachel's best friend Darcy in Something Blue. While I enjoyed that book as well, I could not connect so much with Darcy. Griffin writes wonderfully honest stories and explores relationships in a honest way that many writers try to do but fail.
Meggie has another book of hers that she is going to let me borrow that I am so excited to try reading. In fact, the day of the parade when I had time to spare after getting ready, I sat in the middle of Meg's room and started to read it. Yes, I'm that big of a dork.
The last book I have read recently is This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. I picked this up at Borders when I went on a little shopping spree and bought it because the back sounded interesting and I thought I read a review about it in People magazine. Now this is not the typical book I read, but I do recommend anyone who reads this to pick it up at the library or borrow mine. The book is about family dynamics. Family is family and this book shows that there can be several different personalities within a family that can clash when they must spend a week together. This book is also funny. Not similar to Tucker Max but in a way that I laughed thinking this is exactly what would happen if someone wrote a story about my family having to spend 24/7 with each other for a week. I loved the way Tropper brought sarcasm during a tragedy, and how underneath all the snarky remarks the siblings said to one another, you can tell there was love there.
I think I'm going to continue this little book update thing every once in a while. I was going to post pictures of the books, because while the saying says don't judge a book by it's cover, I totally do. But then I decided that would be a little silly and something that you all may not like. These three books are pretty awesome, not for everyone that reads this blog. While I was bed ridden, I didn't read nearly as much as my mother thought I would, but I was enjoying throwing myself a pity party. Unfortunately with my love of reading, I tend to jump into a story fast, and read it wicked quick. So these may be more frequent then you think.
Weather, You are SUCH a Tease
Today was my appointment with Dr. I but there really is not much to report back. He wants to slowly get me off the steroids which means this week I'm decreasing it once again so I will only have to take two pills of the steroids during the day. However, I will have to double one of them which means I really did not get to decrease my pill count at all. I mean I guess it's fine, but I was really hoping I would not have to take so many pills.
I'm also going to be starting some vitamins, on top of the gummie ones I'm already taking. Let me tell you, I have to have the vitamins that taste good, and these gummie ones make me think I'm eating candy. I always want to go back for more. I mean, how old am I, 24 or 4? I can't decide.
On top of my usual blood work this week, I have to get some more for Dr. I. He said this may determine if I have Crohn's or Colotis. While it's not a definite answer, something about the results could make what people with these tend to have. Who knows, all I know is it will mean more vials.
Side rant: Why does it seem like every body is surprised by my weekly blood work? I thought this is what people with blood clots get the enjoyment of doing?
Also, I want to say this weather is the biggest tease. I missed out on the sweet weather on Friday because of work, and now on my day off it's snowing/raining. Fail. Bring on spring/summer please
I'm also going to be starting some vitamins, on top of the gummie ones I'm already taking. Let me tell you, I have to have the vitamins that taste good, and these gummie ones make me think I'm eating candy. I always want to go back for more. I mean, how old am I, 24 or 4? I can't decide.
On top of my usual blood work this week, I have to get some more for Dr. I. He said this may determine if I have Crohn's or Colotis. While it's not a definite answer, something about the results could make what people with these tend to have. Who knows, all I know is it will mean more vials.
Side rant: Why does it seem like every body is surprised by my weekly blood work? I thought this is what people with blood clots get the enjoyment of doing?
Also, I want to say this weather is the biggest tease. I missed out on the sweet weather on Friday because of work, and now on my day off it's snowing/raining. Fail. Bring on spring/summer please
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Ohhhh Henry
Tomorrow is a doctors appointment. Dun dun dun.
Actually not really, because I'm going to see Dr. I (I think that's the nickname) and contrary to my first impression of him, I enjoy him because he gives me actual information. So tomorrow is just a follow up visit from the other appointment I had when I first started my steroids.
I'm not nervous about this appointment; I'm in fact hoping he tells me I can start weening off the steroids even more, but I doubt it. That's the part I'm afraid of. When I stop taking steroids. I don't know if it means I'm going to go back tot he way things were or if I'm actually getting better with this medicine. So cross your fingers and toes kids.
Henry hurts a little today. I have been working a lot which is totally fine and exercise is encouraged in the articles I have read. But he does hurt, probably also has something to do with the shin splints I think I have. Now I'm no doctor but my shins have been KILLING me. Tomorrow is my day off on top of the doctor's visit so I'm hoping to just chilllllllllllll all day.
And tomorrow I plan on writing about some wonderful books I have been reading. Or the ones I have always loved. Also, I love when I get back to check this thing and see comments. They make me smile, a lot.
Actually not really, because I'm going to see Dr. I (I think that's the nickname) and contrary to my first impression of him, I enjoy him because he gives me actual information. So tomorrow is just a follow up visit from the other appointment I had when I first started my steroids.
I'm not nervous about this appointment; I'm in fact hoping he tells me I can start weening off the steroids even more, but I doubt it. That's the part I'm afraid of. When I stop taking steroids. I don't know if it means I'm going to go back tot he way things were or if I'm actually getting better with this medicine. So cross your fingers and toes kids.
Henry hurts a little today. I have been working a lot which is totally fine and exercise is encouraged in the articles I have read. But he does hurt, probably also has something to do with the shin splints I think I have. Now I'm no doctor but my shins have been KILLING me. Tomorrow is my day off on top of the doctor's visit so I'm hoping to just chilllllllllllll all day.
And tomorrow I plan on writing about some wonderful books I have been reading. Or the ones I have always loved. Also, I love when I get back to check this thing and see comments. They make me smile, a lot.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Rude Awakenings
I have written about him before; Dublin just appears out of nowhere sometimes. He doesn't have to be in a room, and I'll turn around and he's just sitting there, staring at you.
Well for the past three days, Dublin decides it's playtime when I can be sleeping in. He comes into my room and finds ANYTHING he can play with, including my mom's camera, and knocks everything on the floor.
This morning when I tried to carry him out of my room, he decided it was a good time to jump from my arms. Now when a cat jumps, claws are out. Meaning I have a LOVELY scratch on me. Right after Dublin retreats from the room, I went down in a half sleeping state to double check that I was not bleeding profusely. Luckily, that was not the case.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Friday=American Idol Feelings
I have realized that the morning after blood work tends to feel like a results show of American Idol. Now let me explain because this comparison may seem to be a stretch.
With American Idol, you perform and you don't know how you do. You know the results you hope you will get, which are all positive of course, but you know you can always be thrown that curve ball to give you completely negative news. The hopefuls have to wait a day until they find out the results, and throughout that time, nerves are at an all time high.
Same can be said for when I get blood work. I go in with high hopes of getting good results and an INR that stays where the doctor wants it. I wait a full day before I hear anything from the doctor, and anxiously await a phone call in the morning (typically Friday) to give me my results.
That being said, my INR is once again where it is supposed to be (YES! I rock!) and I should be staying with the dosage of medicine I am currently taking. Dr. P however seemed to forget the amount of Warfarin I was taking and I had to kindly remind her. Totally fine.
P.S. my favorite time of year has begun. TOURNAMENT TIME. Anyone see that great performance by Uconn? And the wonderful news that Louisville lost? I was at work and couldn't watch that little triumph but I was SO HAPPY to hear....unlike all those with screwed over brackets.
With American Idol, you perform and you don't know how you do. You know the results you hope you will get, which are all positive of course, but you know you can always be thrown that curve ball to give you completely negative news. The hopefuls have to wait a day until they find out the results, and throughout that time, nerves are at an all time high.
Same can be said for when I get blood work. I go in with high hopes of getting good results and an INR that stays where the doctor wants it. I wait a full day before I hear anything from the doctor, and anxiously await a phone call in the morning (typically Friday) to give me my results.
That being said, my INR is once again where it is supposed to be (YES! I rock!) and I should be staying with the dosage of medicine I am currently taking. Dr. P however seemed to forget the amount of Warfarin I was taking and I had to kindly remind her. Totally fine.
P.S. my favorite time of year has begun. TOURNAMENT TIME. Anyone see that great performance by Uconn? And the wonderful news that Louisville lost? I was at work and couldn't watch that little triumph but I was SO HAPPY to hear....unlike all those with screwed over brackets.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
"I Was Scared For My Life"
People magazine had an interview with Serena Williams about her blood clot this past week and today I was finally able to read it. Just a small two page spread where she discussed her blood clot and resulting pulmonary embellision. She discussed how her foot was the size of her thigh, how she didn't think it was a blood clot because she had one a few years ago and that one was painful, how she had trouble breathing walking a short distance.
All of these were symptoms that I had suffered. And that simple two page magazine spread almost made me cry. Tears in my eyes.
I'm such an emotional wreck.
Serena Williams plans to return to tennis by the summer time and while her doctors advise her not to do that, she still plans on it. I have returned to life and feel so defeated after some days which is very discouraging. Serena gives me hope that maybe I can try running like I used to during the summer. Part of me is glad this happened to Serena, not that her life was in danger at all but that she is putting a face on how dangerous blood clots are. I mean, I had to worry about having a PE which would have resulted in emergency surgery. I still worry about it at times, but I try not to, try to send positive vibes out to the universe to get me better.
Just a small little post about the one star that I know who may be going through the same thing I have been these few months. And made me tear up when I read about it.
All of these were symptoms that I had suffered. And that simple two page magazine spread almost made me cry. Tears in my eyes.
I'm such an emotional wreck.
Serena Williams plans to return to tennis by the summer time and while her doctors advise her not to do that, she still plans on it. I have returned to life and feel so defeated after some days which is very discouraging. Serena gives me hope that maybe I can try running like I used to during the summer. Part of me is glad this happened to Serena, not that her life was in danger at all but that she is putting a face on how dangerous blood clots are. I mean, I had to worry about having a PE which would have resulted in emergency surgery. I still worry about it at times, but I try not to, try to send positive vibes out to the universe to get me better.
Just a small little post about the one star that I know who may be going through the same thing I have been these few months. And made me tear up when I read about it.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Gernadeeee Whistle
Hello my name is Jennifer, and I have a blood clot.
Hiiiii Jen.
I have been talking a lot about my blood clot recently. Telling people who may not know, or just telling my friends the real truth about what has been going on. Plus, Shannon and I decided yesterday that we would name my blood clot Henry. Not that there is any real rhyme or reason for that one but he's Henry now.
Henry has been acting up a lot this weekend but it's almost to be expected. I walked around a lot yesterday at the parade and was out late on Saturday as well. So it's swollen today and in pain after being on it all day today as well. I don't know if Henry is going to constantly act up always when I over exert myself but I guess that's why this is a learning experience.
Big East championship game....what can I say. I LOVE my team so much. Of course I was watching the game while we were out trying to keep my composure because everyone would have made fun of me if I had gone all out. It was a good game though and I'm so glad we won. Now onto the BIG DANCE <3
Tomorrow I'm staying off my leg the whole day. Or at least trying to so Henry can recuperate.
Hiiiii Jen.
I have been talking a lot about my blood clot recently. Telling people who may not know, or just telling my friends the real truth about what has been going on. Plus, Shannon and I decided yesterday that we would name my blood clot Henry. Not that there is any real rhyme or reason for that one but he's Henry now.
Henry has been acting up a lot this weekend but it's almost to be expected. I walked around a lot yesterday at the parade and was out late on Saturday as well. So it's swollen today and in pain after being on it all day today as well. I don't know if Henry is going to constantly act up always when I over exert myself but I guess that's why this is a learning experience.
Big East championship game....what can I say. I LOVE my team so much. Of course I was watching the game while we were out trying to keep my composure because everyone would have made fun of me if I had gone all out. It was a good game though and I'm so glad we won. Now onto the BIG DANCE <3
Tomorrow I'm staying off my leg the whole day. Or at least trying to so Henry can recuperate.
Friday, March 11, 2011
March is DVT Awareness Month
I read somewhere online that March was officially DVT awareness month, which is funny how it just happens to go along with what is happening with me. Also funny that the only reason I found out about DVT Awareness month is because Serena Williams has brought DVT to the forefront.
Now for those who do not know what a DVT is, let me educate you. DVT stands for deep vein thrombosis which in people terms means a blood clot. This is when the blood clots in the deep veins such as your legs and thighs from what I understand. I found a website that isn't so scary as the other types of ones you can find on Google. Now this particular site gave me tons of information about blood clots that I have not known, particularly that DVTs are common in people over the age of 40. Hello I am a walking contradiction of that statistic.
Anyway, I would recommend going on that website if you are as curious as I have become about blood clots. It gives suggestions on how to prevent them, and things that may cause them. I'm not saying that you should really freak out about getting them because obviously not everyone gets blood clots. But it's interesting to get some facts.
Speaking of my DVT, I got my INR and ultra sound results the past few days. My dad got the ultrasound results from Dr. P on Wednesday and we were told that the clot has not changed from the time during two and three. These results are very disheartening because it still is not shrinking. According to the Dr. P we are still getting off the medicine by the end of the month, and possibly going to a different form of treatment. According to my dad, I will not be going off the medicine until something else is done or they can tell him why nothing has changed.
My INR level however is where it's supposed to be!!! That is exciting news. I get to stay on the same level of medicine I have been on, which means I will have to be a pain at the pharmacy getting a new prescription. But that is some good news to hear for once.
I just want to send my prayers to those in Japan and all the affected areas of the earthquake and tsunami. It's crazy to think how mother nature can be so powerful.
Now for those who do not know what a DVT is, let me educate you. DVT stands for deep vein thrombosis which in people terms means a blood clot. This is when the blood clots in the deep veins such as your legs and thighs from what I understand. I found a website that isn't so scary as the other types of ones you can find on Google. Now this particular site gave me tons of information about blood clots that I have not known, particularly that DVTs are common in people over the age of 40. Hello I am a walking contradiction of that statistic.
Anyway, I would recommend going on that website if you are as curious as I have become about blood clots. It gives suggestions on how to prevent them, and things that may cause them. I'm not saying that you should really freak out about getting them because obviously not everyone gets blood clots. But it's interesting to get some facts.
Speaking of my DVT, I got my INR and ultra sound results the past few days. My dad got the ultrasound results from Dr. P on Wednesday and we were told that the clot has not changed from the time during two and three. These results are very disheartening because it still is not shrinking. According to the Dr. P we are still getting off the medicine by the end of the month, and possibly going to a different form of treatment. According to my dad, I will not be going off the medicine until something else is done or they can tell him why nothing has changed.
My INR level however is where it's supposed to be!!! That is exciting news. I get to stay on the same level of medicine I have been on, which means I will have to be a pain at the pharmacy getting a new prescription. But that is some good news to hear for once.
I just want to send my prayers to those in Japan and all the affected areas of the earthquake and tsunami. It's crazy to think how mother nature can be so powerful.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Oh Life----How I Wish it Was a Year Ago
This week is spring break and last year, I was in the beautiful St. Maarten with two of my best friends. We were living in an amazing suite with it's own terrace, waking up to go to the beach and or spend the day by the pool, having family dinners, taking naps under huge umbrellas, and drinking Caribs and free bottles of wine.
I'm pretty sure these pictures are self explanatory, but basically we were walking holidays sharing many many laughs. But imagine waking up to the first picture every day. Sigh.
Being a summer child, I wish I was in the warm weather over this type of reality.
This year for "spring break" I get blood work taken, a boss who was a little upset that I didn't check with him about extra hours, an inflamed leg, and a blood clot that has not shrunk since this last ultrasound. Oh, and windy-rainy weather that has been balancing between 20 to 40 degrees each day. Plus, my jug of water that I have been drinking almost two a day, and the fact that I have given up candy bars....and all I want is some chocolate.
The first picture is the size of the water I have been drinking. The second is one of the roads that leads to our house, although this picture was taken last year, this Monday the road was closed due to flooding. Happens when we get a lot of rain and the rain plus snow melting is causing the massive floods.
Obviously we know who the real winner is.
Being a summer child, I wish I was in the warm weather over this type of reality.
This year for "spring break" I get blood work taken, a boss who was a little upset that I didn't check with him about extra hours, an inflamed leg, and a blood clot that has not shrunk since this last ultrasound. Oh, and windy-rainy weather that has been balancing between 20 to 40 degrees each day. Plus, my jug of water that I have been drinking almost two a day, and the fact that I have given up candy bars....and all I want is some chocolate.
Obviously we know who the real winner is.
8 A.M. and I already had a breakdown
Just today is the reason why I should never look up anything about what is going on with me. I have already cried and it's not even 8. Before this morning, I have not cried about this whole thing in weeks, mainly because I am able to do everything I was before the holidays. I can go to work, eat what I want and do things with my friends.
According to my mom, and I have not heard this from my dad, but the doctor called yesterday and said there was no change from the ultra sound back in December. Not the best news to hear after weeks of dealing with this when I had the impression it should be getting smaller with this medicine.
So this morning upon hearing that, I decided to do a google search. My terms? Blood clots legs recovery. The word surgery appeared in many of the results for DVT which is what I have. Now I have never had surgery, the biggest thing was for my ears when I was younger to get tubes put in my ears. I will not be able to do surgery, I'm such a baby. And so I asked Mom if she thinks they want to do surgery and that's why they are going to take me off the blood thinners by the end of the month. It just does not make any sense to me.
Mom gave me a hug and said she doubts it, that she believes they will give me other medicine that will help me out.
As the deadline to get plane tickets for Washington approaches, which I want to do in the next couple of weeks, I am getting anxious. How will I be unable to go to one of my best friends wedding? Or even be PART of it. It's just not possible. Maybe buying the ticket will make it better?
I just wish the past few months never happened.
According to my mom, and I have not heard this from my dad, but the doctor called yesterday and said there was no change from the ultra sound back in December. Not the best news to hear after weeks of dealing with this when I had the impression it should be getting smaller with this medicine.
So this morning upon hearing that, I decided to do a google search. My terms? Blood clots legs recovery. The word surgery appeared in many of the results for DVT which is what I have. Now I have never had surgery, the biggest thing was for my ears when I was younger to get tubes put in my ears. I will not be able to do surgery, I'm such a baby. And so I asked Mom if she thinks they want to do surgery and that's why they are going to take me off the blood thinners by the end of the month. It just does not make any sense to me.
Mom gave me a hug and said she doubts it, that she believes they will give me other medicine that will help me out.
As the deadline to get plane tickets for Washington approaches, which I want to do in the next couple of weeks, I am getting anxious. How will I be unable to go to one of my best friends wedding? Or even be PART of it. It's just not possible. Maybe buying the ticket will make it better?
I just wish the past few months never happened.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
MUST BE NICE
Warning---this is a complete rant. Similar to half of my posts when I talk about my doctors.
I've decided to come up with unoriginal nicknames for my doctors because I do not like using actual names on here.
Primary doctor will be Doctor P (get it?)
Vascular doctor will be Doctor C (for the blood clot....decided C because B and P can be confused)
Gastro doctor will be Doctor I (for my insides)
Yes I'm really clever and yes, I hate that I have to come up with nicknames but I've come to terms with it.
ANYWAY, I got a ultrasound on FRIDAY and I'm sitting here at 3 oclock on Tuesday without ANY word from Dr. P about the results of said ultrasound. Now the other two times I have gotten these done, I have found out what the results were before I left the offices. I figured because I was at a different office then I wouldn't find out the results right away, expecting a phone call on Monday morning. When I came back from the services yesterday without a message waiting for me about what the ultrasound said, I got a little upset. I called, had issues with the phone lines, got even more pissed off. I can't remember if I left a message or not, I think I did but who knows.
I expected a phone call this morning. Which resulted in nothing. I called Dr. C's office about fifteen minutes ago and his secretary if she had heard anything from Vanessa. She had not, and told me the minute they found out anything she would call me. She reassured me that I was not being a pain which was nice to hear. I guess Dr. P called Dr. C three times over the course of Thursday and Friday to find out about my Warfarin levels and how that is interacting with my steroids. But still hanging up the phone left me unsatisfied, because I still don't know what the deal is with the ultrasound.
Another attempt was made to talk to Dr. P and after reaching the office, I was told that she was gone till tomorrow. I understand that some may find my annoying the doctors silly, but I need answers. It must be nice to go on a little extended leave from the office without letting one of your patients, who is waiting on results from a test YOU ordered, know that you would be out of the office. I do not expect Dr. P to plan her life around me, that's not what I'm asking. I am asking for her to understand that I have been waiting for four days for the results of the ultrasound that I was not scheduled to have on Friday. I have been understanding, I have been a little ticked off, now I'm just mad. And even though I want to do everything to contradict what they are telling me because I do not trust them, I know that's not what's best for me. I am still doing what I was told all those weeks ago, but I am losing faith in doctors.
To end my rant, UCONN won their first round game of the Big East Tourny. I LOVE it this time of year (I hope you read that with Pauly D's voice in mind). March Madness is in full swing and as a avid college basketball fan, I could not be happier
I've decided to come up with unoriginal nicknames for my doctors because I do not like using actual names on here.
Primary doctor will be Doctor P (get it?)
Vascular doctor will be Doctor C (for the blood clot....decided C because B and P can be confused)
Gastro doctor will be Doctor I (for my insides)
Yes I'm really clever and yes, I hate that I have to come up with nicknames but I've come to terms with it.
ANYWAY, I got a ultrasound on FRIDAY and I'm sitting here at 3 oclock on Tuesday without ANY word from Dr. P about the results of said ultrasound. Now the other two times I have gotten these done, I have found out what the results were before I left the offices. I figured because I was at a different office then I wouldn't find out the results right away, expecting a phone call on Monday morning. When I came back from the services yesterday without a message waiting for me about what the ultrasound said, I got a little upset. I called, had issues with the phone lines, got even more pissed off. I can't remember if I left a message or not, I think I did but who knows.
I expected a phone call this morning. Which resulted in nothing. I called Dr. C's office about fifteen minutes ago and his secretary if she had heard anything from Vanessa. She had not, and told me the minute they found out anything she would call me. She reassured me that I was not being a pain which was nice to hear. I guess Dr. P called Dr. C three times over the course of Thursday and Friday to find out about my Warfarin levels and how that is interacting with my steroids. But still hanging up the phone left me unsatisfied, because I still don't know what the deal is with the ultrasound.
Another attempt was made to talk to Dr. P and after reaching the office, I was told that she was gone till tomorrow. I understand that some may find my annoying the doctors silly, but I need answers. It must be nice to go on a little extended leave from the office without letting one of your patients, who is waiting on results from a test YOU ordered, know that you would be out of the office. I do not expect Dr. P to plan her life around me, that's not what I'm asking. I am asking for her to understand that I have been waiting for four days for the results of the ultrasound that I was not scheduled to have on Friday. I have been understanding, I have been a little ticked off, now I'm just mad. And even though I want to do everything to contradict what they are telling me because I do not trust them, I know that's not what's best for me. I am still doing what I was told all those weeks ago, but I am losing faith in doctors.
To end my rant, UCONN won their first round game of the Big East Tourny. I LOVE it this time of year (I hope you read that with Pauly D's voice in mind). March Madness is in full swing and as a avid college basketball fan, I could not be happier
Monday, March 7, 2011
Hide and Seek.....Or At Least That's What You Call It
I have never been more proud of one of my best friends. She did not think she would have been strong enough today, but she proved she is one of the strongest people I know. I know you read this, I don't want to publish your name, but I love you. I could not be more proud of how you handled yourself during such a difficult time.....in fact that goes to your whole family. I love you guys more then you know and am here no matter what.
After the services today, we went to a late lunch at Fridays. Now there was the usual group of us, plus my friends mom. Due to the crappy day, we decided a drink was in order. Of course I had the difficult decision of having a salad or a drink due to my INR levels. And I know that I should not have either one but the fact of the matter is my INR is messed up from the steroids so I felt like I could make the decision. The drink won over, but out of EVERYONE at the table, I was the one who was carded. Now I don't mind because I have been told I look like I just graduated from high school but of course that is my type of life....being the one from the table to get carded. Meggie said it was because he wanted to make sure I was legal, but that's just because we were all giggling so much about being carded.
Today we also giggled about the fact that I had two books in my purse, but in my defense, I had taken one from Meg to read. But I'm the type of girl who gets the big purses because I keep my books in there, not because I fill it with makeup or other girlie things. Before this whole fiasco with my stomach, I used to carry snacks in their as well. I am not a typical girl.
I need my readers to help me with an important decision that may change things a bit. Weird that I am turning to everyone here, but I kind of want some input on what others would think.
First is my mom showed me a tiny article in Family Circle advertising a writing contest. It has always been a dream of mine to publish something, mostly a book but at this point in time anything. Far reaching I know, but I just have a strong desire to do so for some reason. Anyway, I wrote this short story during my senior year in college that I had difficulty writing it because it is about a group of women who mean the world to me. I have always had the itch to write a book about them, if I were to write anything, and this story for one of my classes was the perfect start. Now the story was shared, and some tears were shred but I kind of want to submit this story, just to see if anything would happen. Of course I will need to make sure they agree, but I want to try, even though it terrifies me. I pose this question to you guys, especially because some of those amazing women read this, should I try to submit this story of mine?
One slight snag may be that the story that needs to be submitted has to be a work of fiction. My story is non-fiction. Or creative non-fiction....but some may not know that after reading it. I'm so confused, and so insecure about the whole writing thing. This blog made me nervous at first, but the more feedback I got from family and friends about my writing encouraged me to continue.
As of now, I can't go to the parade on Sunday. I'm hoping this fun fact will change tomorrow when I ask Tommy if he can switch with me. Seeing as he is an Italian, I don't see the need to go to the St Patrick's Day parade but he would be the type that would want to go crazy just to do it. I'm hoping he can throw me a bone, even though I have asked way too much from him in the past few months.
I'm also nervous about the next few days at work because I think I'm going to be standing still a lot and that has not been good for my leg in the past. But we are going to see how I do, and cross your fingers it's okay.
No word from the primary doctor about my freaking ultrasound on Friday. I just don't understand HOW they can let me sit here and freak out about my blood clot for a whole weekend and not call me the first thing this morning. I called her after the services to ask for the results, at which the time was close to five, and have not heard back from her. Once again great job doctors, I'm just shocked why people don't really like you.
After the services today, we went to a late lunch at Fridays. Now there was the usual group of us, plus my friends mom. Due to the crappy day, we decided a drink was in order. Of course I had the difficult decision of having a salad or a drink due to my INR levels. And I know that I should not have either one but the fact of the matter is my INR is messed up from the steroids so I felt like I could make the decision. The drink won over, but out of EVERYONE at the table, I was the one who was carded. Now I don't mind because I have been told I look like I just graduated from high school but of course that is my type of life....being the one from the table to get carded. Meggie said it was because he wanted to make sure I was legal, but that's just because we were all giggling so much about being carded.
Today we also giggled about the fact that I had two books in my purse, but in my defense, I had taken one from Meg to read. But I'm the type of girl who gets the big purses because I keep my books in there, not because I fill it with makeup or other girlie things. Before this whole fiasco with my stomach, I used to carry snacks in their as well. I am not a typical girl.
I need my readers to help me with an important decision that may change things a bit. Weird that I am turning to everyone here, but I kind of want some input on what others would think.
First is my mom showed me a tiny article in Family Circle advertising a writing contest. It has always been a dream of mine to publish something, mostly a book but at this point in time anything. Far reaching I know, but I just have a strong desire to do so for some reason. Anyway, I wrote this short story during my senior year in college that I had difficulty writing it because it is about a group of women who mean the world to me. I have always had the itch to write a book about them, if I were to write anything, and this story for one of my classes was the perfect start. Now the story was shared, and some tears were shred but I kind of want to submit this story, just to see if anything would happen. Of course I will need to make sure they agree, but I want to try, even though it terrifies me. I pose this question to you guys, especially because some of those amazing women read this, should I try to submit this story of mine?
One slight snag may be that the story that needs to be submitted has to be a work of fiction. My story is non-fiction. Or creative non-fiction....but some may not know that after reading it. I'm so confused, and so insecure about the whole writing thing. This blog made me nervous at first, but the more feedback I got from family and friends about my writing encouraged me to continue.
As of now, I can't go to the parade on Sunday. I'm hoping this fun fact will change tomorrow when I ask Tommy if he can switch with me. Seeing as he is an Italian, I don't see the need to go to the St Patrick's Day parade but he would be the type that would want to go crazy just to do it. I'm hoping he can throw me a bone, even though I have asked way too much from him in the past few months.
I'm also nervous about the next few days at work because I think I'm going to be standing still a lot and that has not been good for my leg in the past. But we are going to see how I do, and cross your fingers it's okay.
No word from the primary doctor about my freaking ultrasound on Friday. I just don't understand HOW they can let me sit here and freak out about my blood clot for a whole weekend and not call me the first thing this morning. I called her after the services to ask for the results, at which the time was close to five, and have not heard back from her. Once again great job doctors, I'm just shocked why people don't really like you.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
JWOW just said food coma
I ate too much. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Tomorrow is a reason why I don't like growing up. I'm not good with emotions and tomorrow is going to be an emotional day. I am going to try to be strong for one of my best friends during a very difficult time. And I'm not good with being a good support when heavy emotions are involved. But she was there making me laugh throughout my whole ordeal that I can not imagine not helping her during this time.
Ugh serious food baby right now. To a point of uncomfortableness. I never thought this would happen.
Time for me to go to bed with my leg up because it's kinda been hurting today. Just a little bit. And if I'm going to be on it all day tomorrow, I need to rest and elevate it.
Tomorrow is a reason why I don't like growing up. I'm not good with emotions and tomorrow is going to be an emotional day. I am going to try to be strong for one of my best friends during a very difficult time. And I'm not good with being a good support when heavy emotions are involved. But she was there making me laugh throughout my whole ordeal that I can not imagine not helping her during this time.
Ugh serious food baby right now. To a point of uncomfortableness. I never thought this would happen.
Time for me to go to bed with my leg up because it's kinda been hurting today. Just a little bit. And if I'm going to be on it all day tomorrow, I need to rest and elevate it.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Three Leg Ultra Sounds in Two Months. Winning
As I was laying on the table waiting for my ultra sound to start yesterday, I wondered how many ultra sounds a pregnant woman normally goes through during the nine months. I'm lucky enough to have you readers know I am in fact not pregnant or anywhere close to it but has been "winning" since the end of December with ultra sounds for my legs. Yesterday was no exception....we went up to Goose Lane to get one done and I was taken in right away.
Only one problem with yesterday. They didn't seem to understand why I was there. The tech asked me why I was there and I told her the ultra sound was for a follow up for a blood clot in my left leg, to which she asked if I was on blood thinners and I gave my answer. She then said she would be right back and as I was sitting there, I almost started to cry. Like little tears came out of my eyes because I was so upset. I don't understand why there does not seem to be any communication whenever I go to doctors or why the one I did not like at the beginning is the one I actually enjoy seeing now because I get answers.
Anyway, the ultra sound which the lady told me was only going to take about ten minutes actually took closer to half hour. They not only looked at my legs but they did a quick little look at my lower stomach area. The ultra sound is not scary at all, except when they turn the sound up or when they squeeze my leg. But the sound makes me scared because I don't know if it's a good or bad thing and they don't tell you either. When you are pregnant you can hear your kids heart beat, when you have a blood clot it's all white noise which is not refreshing.
After she finished, she went up to the radiologist I believe to just double check if she should get more pictures. Unfortunately at that time, I did not get any answers about the size of the blood clot or if it's gotten bigger or smaller. I just left the place and went home. On the drive home though I called my blood clot doctor. I told them I had had a visit with the primary doctor and they told me yes, we spoke to her earlier. I said how I just had an ultra sound which they questioned why that happened and why it didn't occur at their office. That part may have been my fault because I'm naive and though that my primary doctor knew that I had had a ultra sound at the blood clot docs office. But I guess they didn't and I guess the phone call between the primary and blood clot doctors did not share information like I thought they would have been.
Oh, I could have totally brought my book to read even though when I asked she said it was going to take 10 minutes. I'm sorry but I was waiting twenty minutes in the light after the ultra sound bored out of my mind.
It's becoming very frustrating believing that my doctors are not talking to one another or that they are but they are not listening to what each other, or even we have to tell them. To have people not know what's going on in this team I'm suppose to have to get me better is very draining. I have started to become snippy with my parents because I'm annoyed with what happened yesterday. It was all a huge headache from the run around. I'm not okay with the performance from the doctors at all.
After all that craziness, I got to go to the mall with Mom and see Kate and Emily at Borders! Seriously it was the best surprise ever just looking over and seeing Kate standing there then surprising Em in line. And we made tentative plans for later in the week. Seeing my second family next week? Most amazing plans I have had in a while.
Off to get ready for a wonderful night at work. I'm ready to go to sleep. This is not gonna be a good thing.
Only one problem with yesterday. They didn't seem to understand why I was there. The tech asked me why I was there and I told her the ultra sound was for a follow up for a blood clot in my left leg, to which she asked if I was on blood thinners and I gave my answer. She then said she would be right back and as I was sitting there, I almost started to cry. Like little tears came out of my eyes because I was so upset. I don't understand why there does not seem to be any communication whenever I go to doctors or why the one I did not like at the beginning is the one I actually enjoy seeing now because I get answers.
Anyway, the ultra sound which the lady told me was only going to take about ten minutes actually took closer to half hour. They not only looked at my legs but they did a quick little look at my lower stomach area. The ultra sound is not scary at all, except when they turn the sound up or when they squeeze my leg. But the sound makes me scared because I don't know if it's a good or bad thing and they don't tell you either. When you are pregnant you can hear your kids heart beat, when you have a blood clot it's all white noise which is not refreshing.
After she finished, she went up to the radiologist I believe to just double check if she should get more pictures. Unfortunately at that time, I did not get any answers about the size of the blood clot or if it's gotten bigger or smaller. I just left the place and went home. On the drive home though I called my blood clot doctor. I told them I had had a visit with the primary doctor and they told me yes, we spoke to her earlier. I said how I just had an ultra sound which they questioned why that happened and why it didn't occur at their office. That part may have been my fault because I'm naive and though that my primary doctor knew that I had had a ultra sound at the blood clot docs office. But I guess they didn't and I guess the phone call between the primary and blood clot doctors did not share information like I thought they would have been.
Oh, I could have totally brought my book to read even though when I asked she said it was going to take 10 minutes. I'm sorry but I was waiting twenty minutes in the light after the ultra sound bored out of my mind.
It's becoming very frustrating believing that my doctors are not talking to one another or that they are but they are not listening to what each other, or even we have to tell them. To have people not know what's going on in this team I'm suppose to have to get me better is very draining. I have started to become snippy with my parents because I'm annoyed with what happened yesterday. It was all a huge headache from the run around. I'm not okay with the performance from the doctors at all.
After all that craziness, I got to go to the mall with Mom and see Kate and Emily at Borders! Seriously it was the best surprise ever just looking over and seeing Kate standing there then surprising Em in line. And we made tentative plans for later in the week. Seeing my second family next week? Most amazing plans I have had in a while.
Off to get ready for a wonderful night at work. I'm ready to go to sleep. This is not gonna be a good thing.
Small World
I finally have something in common with someone famous. Who you may ask?
Serena Williams. Okay so maybe we don't have a lot in common, but there is one big issue that we do share. And that is a dreaded blood clot. Her situation is much more serious then mine but she is a healthy twenty something who happened to have a surgery and decide to hop on a plane. Probably not the smartest move she ever did because the blood clot grew, but I now share something with one of the most famous tennis stars of our generation.
When I first heard about her pulmonary embolism, I could not believe it. This was exactly what the doctor told me to look out for that first day at the hospital. In the above article that I linked, it says that about 6 million people develop blood clots in a year. Serena and I are two of those people. I begin to wonder if she will start to take blood thinners; Dad and I agree she won't have to take the generic but get the brand name. I wonder if she will begin to worry about INR levels. Yes, I know these are odd things to wonder, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only weirdo to have blood clots at age twenty.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Why You Wanna Give Me a Run Around
Today, I went to see my lovely primary doctor. Now I use the word lovely loosely. She wanted this appointment because she "hadn't seen me in a while" which in real terms means the first visit I had with her after I went to the hospital. She had told me back at that appointment I would get sick of seeing her but at the same time I had not seen her since the end of December. Hmmm.....that's a wonderful start to the visit.
Anyway, I went to the appointment today and she told me that my INR is basically at a stalemate which has brought concern to her as well as the doctor that is treating my blood clot. I am taking high doses of Warfarin which is not good to be taking so she told me that they are trying to figure out why my INR is the level it's at without budging even though they had increased my Warfarin level. She then begins to ask me about my diet and if I was having tons of green vegetables, which I told her I had been having small salads but she had told me that was not an issue. She asks if I have been having caffeine, which I told her not really because I was told water is the best thing so I have been drinking a lot of water. She then asked if they had given me of a list of stuff I shouldn't be eating. I told her no, I mean two months after the fact I haven't really been worried because she told me that I did not need to worry about it.
Thanks for the change of thinking after all this time.
Not only did she ask about my diet but then I was rambling about various things, about how I have not felt better since before this whole thing started ever since I started taking the steroids, which she then looked at me and goes that's it. Mind you, my father discussed with my primary doctor about the medicine that my inside doctor, who is the ONLY one doing good to me, prescribed to me. She KNEW about the steroids and yet this was like some huge new news to her. But the doctor told me that the steroids are probably the reason my INR levels have not changed.
I thought that she seemed so out of it as weird but I didn't really question it because she is my doctor and I thought she would know what she was talking about. My dad and I have kept her in the loop, my dad told her that she needs to be our go to person that was our contact between the other doctors. And from what we understood she was going to be that person. Boy were we wrong.
Today I get to go for another ultra sound on my leg which I am hoping beyond hope tells me that my blood clot is getting smaller. According to my primary doctor, the long trip is the cause of my blood clot which is crazy because the hospital and everyone else told us that was not the reason at all. The travel during Thanksgiving was ruled out. But she said that if I were to go on any more long trips then I would need to move around a lot more because I can't do more long trips. I mentioned my trip to Washington and she told me about the ultrasound today, in a few hours. Not only that but she told me by the end of the month they wanted me off the Warfarin. Funny to think I'm going off it so soon because I was told I was going to be on that for a year. Not that I'm complaining. Blood thinners suck. But I guess by the end of March I will no longer have to take it which I guess means they think the blood clot is growing smaller. Who knows though.
I will give updates on how the ultra sound goes today. Plus I had a funny post idea before the doctor but I don't feel like writing about it now. That little jem will be presented when I get back from the doctor. Till then
Anyway, I went to the appointment today and she told me that my INR is basically at a stalemate which has brought concern to her as well as the doctor that is treating my blood clot. I am taking high doses of Warfarin which is not good to be taking so she told me that they are trying to figure out why my INR is the level it's at without budging even though they had increased my Warfarin level. She then begins to ask me about my diet and if I was having tons of green vegetables, which I told her I had been having small salads but she had told me that was not an issue. She asks if I have been having caffeine, which I told her not really because I was told water is the best thing so I have been drinking a lot of water. She then asked if they had given me of a list of stuff I shouldn't be eating. I told her no, I mean two months after the fact I haven't really been worried because she told me that I did not need to worry about it.
Thanks for the change of thinking after all this time.
Not only did she ask about my diet but then I was rambling about various things, about how I have not felt better since before this whole thing started ever since I started taking the steroids, which she then looked at me and goes that's it. Mind you, my father discussed with my primary doctor about the medicine that my inside doctor, who is the ONLY one doing good to me, prescribed to me. She KNEW about the steroids and yet this was like some huge new news to her. But the doctor told me that the steroids are probably the reason my INR levels have not changed.
I thought that she seemed so out of it as weird but I didn't really question it because she is my doctor and I thought she would know what she was talking about. My dad and I have kept her in the loop, my dad told her that she needs to be our go to person that was our contact between the other doctors. And from what we understood she was going to be that person. Boy were we wrong.
Today I get to go for another ultra sound on my leg which I am hoping beyond hope tells me that my blood clot is getting smaller. According to my primary doctor, the long trip is the cause of my blood clot which is crazy because the hospital and everyone else told us that was not the reason at all. The travel during Thanksgiving was ruled out. But she said that if I were to go on any more long trips then I would need to move around a lot more because I can't do more long trips. I mentioned my trip to Washington and she told me about the ultrasound today, in a few hours. Not only that but she told me by the end of the month they wanted me off the Warfarin. Funny to think I'm going off it so soon because I was told I was going to be on that for a year. Not that I'm complaining. Blood thinners suck. But I guess by the end of March I will no longer have to take it which I guess means they think the blood clot is growing smaller. Who knows though.
I will give updates on how the ultra sound goes today. Plus I had a funny post idea before the doctor but I don't feel like writing about it now. That little jem will be presented when I get back from the doctor. Till then
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
All I Do is Win
My motto for the month of March? All I do is win. The song came onto my Ipod today while I was doing laundry and I decided that is a great motivator to just rock this month and somehow/someway beat all the medical crap that I have been going through. But this is not just a song for me. It's for everyone I know that has not been having a good 2011 which surprisingly is a lot of people. This month is going to change things for us my friends, and we are going to win at the this game of life....at least for a little while.
I felt like I got a lot accomplished today even though it may not seem like that to those on the outside. But I'm happy to be going back to work tomorrow because while two days off are enjoyable, I wish it was on days that my friends also had the day off.
Tomorrow I get to go get my blood work done before I have to go into work. And then I get to go to dinner with Shannon and Heather for a long delayed girls dinner. I'm looking forward to real food, even if it's just going to Fridays.
I'm trying to decide if I want to do the whole thirty day picture thing that people have been doing on Facebook. I understand this blog was started to keep the family and friends updated on my health and while I still try to focus on that, I understand that there really isn't much stuff to report because it's become a wait and see about the blood clot. And the stomach we don't know much until we can do the colonoscopy is done but that can't be done until the blood clot is resolved. So I feel that I need to start doing other things to entertain the readers and that picture thing, on top of my regular posts may just be what I'm looking to spice this thing up. Plus I'm hoping that even after this medical emergency I have been dealing with, people will still want to read about my daily musings and/or life updates.
Fashion Police cracks me up every time I watch, especially after an award show. I like how shocked Kelly looks after everything Joan says. Now, I'm off to watch that before I end up going to bed probably before ten because I'm super cool and go to bed wicked early now. When did I become adultish and how do I make it stop?
I felt like I got a lot accomplished today even though it may not seem like that to those on the outside. But I'm happy to be going back to work tomorrow because while two days off are enjoyable, I wish it was on days that my friends also had the day off.
Tomorrow I get to go get my blood work done before I have to go into work. And then I get to go to dinner with Shannon and Heather for a long delayed girls dinner. I'm looking forward to real food, even if it's just going to Fridays.
I'm trying to decide if I want to do the whole thirty day picture thing that people have been doing on Facebook. I understand this blog was started to keep the family and friends updated on my health and while I still try to focus on that, I understand that there really isn't much stuff to report because it's become a wait and see about the blood clot. And the stomach we don't know much until we can do the colonoscopy is done but that can't be done until the blood clot is resolved. So I feel that I need to start doing other things to entertain the readers and that picture thing, on top of my regular posts may just be what I'm looking to spice this thing up. Plus I'm hoping that even after this medical emergency I have been dealing with, people will still want to read about my daily musings and/or life updates.
Fashion Police cracks me up every time I watch, especially after an award show. I like how shocked Kelly looks after everything Joan says. Now, I'm off to watch that before I end up going to bed probably before ten because I'm super cool and go to bed wicked early now. When did I become adultish and how do I make it stop?
Life's Tough Questions
Sometimes, there are interesting things on the internet that you find and have to send to your friends because it makes you laugh or just think. This is one of those moments. The pictures are beautiful. The questions really make you question the type of life you lead and if you should be seeking more from it. I recommend checking it out. I'm glad that I was able to stumble upon this while I was trying to kill time during a day off.
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