Friday Fun

Life knows when you need an old friend to pop back into your life.  

You know those friends.  The people who you don't talk to all the time but when you do get back together, it's like no time has passed.

Julia walked into work on Friday and tears sprung into my eyes at not only the surprise but the fact that she took the time to come visit.

The last time I saw Julia was at my dad's wake and I can't remember the time before that.  We have tried to email back and forth but life sometimes just gets too busy.  Plus we had opposite schedules for a while there so we could never make set plans.

But for two hours, in a Starbucks next to work, Julia and I caught up with everything that has been happening in our lives.

If I'm honest, it was a perfect way to end a loooong week.  Old friends.  Great conversations.  And, a great drink.

(I told you I would blog more....)

Here Comes the Sun.

Springtime.  A time for new beginnings.  When all the flowers and birds and butterflies come out of hiding.  And the sunshine warms the coldness we felt throughout the winter.  Especially this winter.

What perfect way to enjoy an April 1st then having such a great spring day.  Yes, I was inside at work all day, but I still was able to feel the wonderful spring time before the rain came pouring down to water those May flowers.  

I am so looking forward to the possibilities of a new season changing.  Winter was a trying time for our family and myself.  Health problems and all.  But like I said, I often feel the best during the summertime.  I am going into this month, this season, the rest of this year, with such a positive attitude and nothing but great energy.  Because we all deserve a bit of luck every once in a while and I think it's about time for my family to get some luck.

Spring Just Around the Corner

Yesterday was an amazing day.  

When I left work at 4, I did not need my jacket in order to keep warm.  Instead, I felt the warmth of spring being just around the corner.

And I could not be happier.

I can not wait until I can fill my room with flowers from the garden again.  When I can wear t-shirts and not freeze.  When I can open the windows and not have to reach for a blanket to keep warm because warm air is coming into my room.

Spring!  It's coming people.  Get excited.

 

Love Letters

For the past few months, I have become a fan of love letters.

It's simple really.  I write letters to my friends whenever they are going through a rough patch, or when they accomplish something that I think they should be proud of.  I write them hand written letters to know that someone cares enough to take a moment of their day to send well wishes there way.

If I could, I would write to every single person who has read this blog, or has sent a prayer or well wish throughout this whole journey to my family and I.

As I sit here thinking about the history of love letters, I long for the days where a guy would send a letter to his girl back at home to let her know how much he cared.  I wish for the day that you sent your girlfriends letters filled with adventures of those summer days that you met the guy of your dreams, or you were able to let your hair down and have fun.  Or the notes that were passed in secret during classes in middle school to your friends to pass the boring days.

Love letters.  They can really change a person's whole day.  Dare you to try it and not get a response that it brightened someone's day.

Wordless Wednesday---Remixed.

Life Lessons at 26

Two years ago; a snapshot of a wonderful accomplishment

Since today is my 26th birthday, I decided that I should write some lessons that life has taught me.  Enjoy.

1. Nothing is better then receiving a hand written letter in the mailbox from a friend.  I not only love sending them, but getting them makes my whole day.

2. You can judge how good a restaurant is by their nachos.  If you don't agree with me, then you obviously have never tested this.

3.  Hospital visits can be stressful, but it's always important to try and be kind to those who are taking care of you.  Health care providers aren't going to be so nice to you if you are being an asshole.

4. Capture as many of life moments with a camera.  Being able to look back on all those amazing memories is something I truly love more then words.

5. Travel.  I have been to many states throughout the country and it's been such a wonderful experience every where I have gone.  The getting their part may be hectic (hello getting stuck in airports...) but the fun times I have had during those trips are priceless.

6.  On-line shopping is one of the greatest inventions of all time, but it can also be the devil.  There have been so many times that I have bought new clothes without having to deal with rude people at malls or stores.

7. Music makes my world go round and song lyrics can truly speak to the soul.  If you don't believe that a great song can change your whole mood, then you haven't been exposed to great music.

8.  Enjoy food.  If my stomach problems have taught me anything, it's always enjoy every aspect of a meal.  Even though I know I may be in pain a hour after eating my meal, if it's a good dish, then I will enjoy it. No matter what.

9.  It's completely okay to spend the day in sweat pants, snuggled with blankets, on the couch reading a good book.  I do this on a regular basis and I'm totally okay with being a bum.

10.  I'm also okay with reading my favorite books on a regular basis.  If I absolutely love a book, then I'm excited to go back and see my favorite characters.  In fact, 90% of the books on my book case I have read more then once, and I'm not ashamed of that.

11.  Life seems to be better in the summer time, as well as by the beach.  I think the warm weather wards off the bad energy that winter sometimes provides.  Case in point, I have never had stomach problems during the summer.  And whenever I'm over thinking a problem, if I go to the beach, then I feel completely renewed.

12.  Life will set you up with many obstacles, including many different medical problems.  As long as you try to keep your head up, and surround yourself with a good support system, then you will be able to overcome anything.  Also, even if you think you can't give blood, it's possible.  It's also possible for the girl who used to cry during any sort of shot can look at blood being taken and also give herself her own shots.

13.  It's also possible that as you grow up, you also become more emotional.  It's also possible that those emotions come out more often when you don't feel well.  Also possible to want to cry at the drop of the hat whenever someone is nice to you.  It's fine to be emotional.  Embrace it.

14. Singing on the top of your lungs to your favorite song is acceptable.  While dancing around your room, and having the music blaring.  This dancing/singing combination will let your worries slide away from you.  Dare you to try it.

15. Never be afraid to tell people how much you care about them.  Give them hugs.  High fives when they achieve something good.  Smile at strangers who did something nice to you. Say I love you.  People want to be cared about.  And smiles and hugs can change the world.

These life lessons may be general ideas to some people, or not very profound, but the fact remains they are a few of the things I truly believe in.  I always knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life, but you really know how many people are in your corner when some obstacles come your way.  I want to thank everyone who reads this, who has believed in me, who has given me a hug or words of encouragement, not only in the past 2 years but especially the past 26 years of my life. It means more to me then I think you will ever understand to have you all in my corner.

Happy birthday to me! Here's to many more to come.

Things I'm Thankful For

Part of what I love about the holidays is the time spent with my family.  Thanksgiving is always a great time to reflect on things that you are most thankful for, with most people sharing with those they love all the things they are thankful for.  

I had planned on sharing pictures here every day this week to show some of the people I am thankful for most in my life.  With all the ups and downs this life has given me these past few years, I am incredibly thankful for all the wonderful people in my life.  I have the biggest cheerleaders on my side whenever I start to feel down.  With all my health problems, I have realize that I am extremely lucky to have people willing to help me and my family whenever we are down.  

I am thankful that I was able to enjoy the holiday with my family and eat some delicious foods.  I am thankful that my flare up has gone away and that Natasha and Boris have not been bothering me too much.  I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends, and every single person who has helped me and my family in the past.  I'm thankful for my job, even if I want to rip my hair out sometimes when I'm there.  And I'm thankful for the roof over my head and all the wonderful things my parents have provided me throughout my life.

Olympic Fun with my Sisters <3

Sorry for the fomatting, I'm terrible with computers sometimes.

But here are a few pictures of some of my favorite people, that I am so thankful to have in my life.

La Familia

The Second Family at the Beach

Tenzina and Holly. Two of the girls who make me sane at work

Smiles & Laughs Always

Madison <3

Mandy <3

Brother and Sisters

The Replacement Jen

Nana with the Connecticut Grandkids

Since the beginning.

Some of my favorites.  Really just love this picture

My Girlfriends.

I Feel So Close to You Right Now

Two days at work down. Two more to end the week to go.

While some might not agree with me getting back to work, it's good for my soul.  Everyone at work is so understanding for everything I have been going through, and they are all so helpful.  I have a system now.  I sit on a chair and type up prescriptions with my leg sitting on top of one of the recycling bins under the desk/table/counter thing.  I don't really move from there, instead ask for help from my coworkers when I need to check if we have something, or have to give the script to the pharmacist.  

Tenzin and Holly check up on me on a regular basis; actually everyone does.  I have people making sure I'm doing well throughout the day, and people who look at me like I'm crazy when I want to get up and do something like walk to the other side of the pharmacy.

I won't lie to you; after a day at the "office" I feel completely drained.  It's tiring sitting on a chair all day just punching in data.  I have turned to Tenzin multiple times and said how I'm ready to fall asleep throughout the day.  But it's soooo much better then sitting in my bed feeling sorry for myself.

Today was a day off and I didn't really do much other then listen to Taylor's new CD and fall in love with it.  Even though she gets a lot of backlash for constantly writing about her failed relationships, I love how she somehow puts my feelings in words with her songs.  Seriously, it's sometimes really creepy.

Tonight is the LAST night of those devil shots.  Or at least I'm crossing my fingers and toes that it is because my stomach is starting to look like a smiley face with the little bruises.  

State of Grace

I'm a lucky girl.  Yes, I know this statement may seem very weird coming from a girl who just returned from the hospital with the news that she has two blood clots in her leg.  But I'm lucky because I have amazing friends, family, coworkers, and even acquaintances who really just want me to get better.  This whole network of people who have reached out to myself, my parents, or even my brother to send well wishes and words of encouragement.  It's mind blowing.

I have always tried to be truthful in this blog and I'm going to try my best in this post.  When I went to the hospital the other day, I was so fed up with my stomach.  I cried to my dad that Monday night asking why does this particular stupid stomach problem have to happen to a girl who loves food.  And I mean LOVE food.  How many girls do you know who has a food bucket list?  Not many.  But I cried because my stomach hurt.  I cried because I have to put my parents through this. I cried because I keep having to answer the "are you okay" question that is necessary for those who are concerned but gets tiring for those who are the ones being asked.  And I cried for the fact that I will never be one hundred percent healthy again for the rest of my life.  This colitsis this affects so many people, and I just need to buck up and deal with it.

So going to the hospital to get this whole thing squared away......I was pumped.  Never in my life did I think that I would have to go through that whole winter fiasco again.  But here I am, with my leg up and the size of my thigh (okay, that may be a little understatement, but it is pretty swollen).  

This time though, the whole thing feels different.

I'm stronger then I was that December/January; I mean I'm still walking, even if it's a little painful, I'm still walking.  I would like to think I have a little swag in my step now.  If someone knows of a cane that we can pimp out, then you know where to find me.  Plus, I don't plan on just sitting around and letting the world go on around me.  I plan on living life no matter what, and not hide in a shell.  Unlike last time, I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself and just think "It happened again; now let's deal with it."

I'm not going to lie to you all.  I am not happy this has happened to me and this time around we are demanding answers.  I'm going to find out why I keep getting blood clots because two at the age of 25 is a little much don't you think?  And the pain in the leg sucks, along with having to get those stupid shots in my stomach.  Sorry Dad that you have to do those again by the by.  But I'm going to keep my head up high and the smile on my face bright because there is no way in HELL I'm letting this thing beat me again.

I did it once, and I will do it again.  With the biggest support system in MY corner, cheering me on every single step I take and every meal I'm able to eat without being in pain.

Recently, Christopher has not stopped asking me questions about the whole colitis thing.  You see, he has a new friend who has Crohn's and doesn't seem to know anyone who has the same thing.  I guess I never realized how lucky I am to have friends who know what I am feeling when I go through a flare up.

But it's really nice to have Chris ask me questions about my health.  Even if it's what medications are you on a Sunday at 10 oclock at night.  When I didn't know what was going on with me, I was so upset with Chris for the fact that he never seemed interested in my well being.  I knew he cared, because he always offered being a phone call away.  But he always went off with his friends on adventures while I was stuck on my bed, depressed.  Asking all the questions he has been asking, and seeing his fascination with knowing the answers through his new friends eyes is pretty amazing.

His interest in my condition makes me want to meet this new friend but more then that, I want to sit down and have an open discussion with my wonderful brother.  Honestly, even a question about stupid medications couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Just to See You Smile.

When I was younger, I always assumed that I would be in a serious relationship by now on the verge of some engagement or already married.  Then life happened and you realize that your life isn't a Disney movie where the prince finds the princess and fights the wicked witch/stepmother to get the girl and live happily ever after.  

My generation grew up watching Boy Meets World, but as college students, we also became obsessed with Sex and the City.  That show proves shows a girl doesn't need a man in her life to live happily ever after.  Sometimes, all a girl needs is her best friends to bring out the real her and the happiness that the prince brought the princess in all those Disney movies.

Throughout the years, I have realized I like to be around people.  Overall, people make me happy and if you are a genuine good person, I will be your biggest supporter.  What I have learned recently is once a person become a big part of my life, I will always care for them, and sometimes unfortunately, be on their side.  But I'm one of those people who believe in the good of people, and will stop at nothing to believe I only surround myself with good people.

I always knew I was lucky to have such great groups of people in my life.  I have always "collected" diverse people in my life and I am grateful for every single thing they have taught me.  And while it seems like everyone I know is getting engaged or married, I'm fine with the loves of my life, my circle of amazing people who I know will always be there for me no matter what I do in my life.  

I want to thank those people, who are always there, no matter what, with a hug, kind words or a smile, to let me know I am one of the luckiest girls in the world.

If I Fall For You, I'll Never Be the Same

Love is said to make the world go round.  And recently, at least in my world, love letters have become the cool thing to make.  Or maybe, it's just that love letters have been flooding my Facebook feed because one girl from town is changing the world by writing love letters to strangers.

I haven't written to a stranger, but I have written them to some people in my life.  Back in high school, I would write notes to my friends gossiping.  Last summer at work, Tom, Holly and Tara all got various love letters from me.  I still receive love letters from Holly, even if they say how much she hates me after a busy day.  When you get that note in your hands and read what your friend wished to share with you at that moment, there is nothing better. Letters can be so personal even if they are a simple, "You make my life better by being in it," type of message.

Anyway, I wrote my share of letters to people because I know that they always make me smile when I get them and I want to make the people I love smile.  I think I'm going to start sending them to my friends.  I've become inspired by Hannah, the girl from my town who is going to change the world one letter at a time.

From what I understand, Hannah started out writing letters the exact reason why I like to write them.  To make others feel special.  But her people were strangers in the city and they were left throughout the city for complete strangers to find and feel seen for the time it takes to read a letter about how special they are.  Can you imagine how your whole week can be made by a letter from a stranger?  I wish I could find one of those special things.  From there, Hannah made a blog and began what started a movement.....and I have to say, she has inspired me to write more love letters to my friends. Because sometimes it's nice to have that physical evidence that someone loves you enough to write to you in a world that is obsessed with technology.

Friends, or whom ever still reads this wonderful little blog that could, be on the look out for a letter.  Yes, I will need addresses from my friends who are far away.  But to those who are close by, be on the look out for letters to be popping up in purses, or houses or cars.  Because I feel like it's important to make the people who have carried me the past few years to realize how much I really do love them.

And if you want to peep Hannah's blog click here: Her Blog
And an inspiring video that flooded my Facebook a few weeks ago: More Love Letters 

Let's get back to the basics.  Love letters.  They have never been more important if you ask me...

 

Happy July 4th Everyone!

I love America.  I love this movie.  

What better way to say Happy Birthday America (Yes, I'm early, so sue me) then sharing this wonderful 4th of July scene from the classic movie The Sandlot.

And yes, it's a classic that EVERYONE, coughShannoncough, should see.

It's Always a Good Time

Ever have one of those weekends that was so amazing, when you try to put it into words, they don't do any justice to it?

That was this weekend for me.  I wish I could account all the wonderful details, but whenever I try, I fail miserably.

Magic Mike.  Beach.  Patio dinner with the Milford family.  Margaritas.  Laughing until my stomach hurt with the Milford loves.  Prepping for Bar crawl.  Celebrating birthdays.  Sitting on the grass. Long lost friends. Cake pops. Pictures.  Fireworks.  Sam Summer. Oomcha Music.

A bunch of words that may not mean anything to anyone else, but it makes me smile to know I had such an amazing weekend.

I Believe In the Sand Beneath My Toes, The Beach Gives a Feeling

 Today was just one of those days that was perfect in every way.  Mom and I headed to the beach, and I really wasn't expecting to see anyone down there.  When we first arrived, Patty was there and then slowly everyone came down.  And I'm not just talking about a few people, but my Milford family all arrived and I was so happy.


I don't think we have all been together at the beach since we were all little.  We all live such busy lives and when we can get together  it really is a special treat.  The beach and summer has always been a special time as I have stated time and time again, but today was especially nice.  The weather was beautiful with the sun shining the whole time and a light breeze to never make it too hot.  In fact, Katelyn and I had to put towels over ourselves because we were cold.


It's hard to describe the pure joy I get with spending time with my Milford family.  We all have different lives but we are always there for each other.  Kate said it best today, "Top ten beach day."  


I become the best person I am when I'm with them.  I become the real me when I'm at the beach.  And if you are lucky enough, you will be able to see it.  My Milford family gets to see it every time I'm with them.  And I dare anyone to go to a gathering of these wonderful women and not crack up with laughter.  Seriously, not possible.


P.S. Ricky was extremely missed on this epic day.  Can't wait for our bar crawl, and other fun parties we have planned for the rest of July.

Even When You're Sleeping....Keep Your Eyes Open

Compliments get me every time.  I'm not good with receiving them because I never expect them.  But I guess that's what compliments do, they sweep you off your feet to make you feel special for that moment, or night, or day.  And I may not be the only one who is bad with receiving compliments, but when I do get them, and they are from good people, it honestly makes my whole day.

These past two days, random people have made my day and I don't even know if they realize they have done this.  And I'm not talking my family and friends because they really do rock.  But acquaintances, co-workers, customers.  And I feel this warmth in my stomach and a smile on my face for most of the day.

One of our regular customers came in today and told someone who was being helped by Holly that I was the best.  And he said it yesterday too when he came in.  He's the one who always makes it a point to come over and say hi to me and ask how I am doing.  And part of me knows he really do care.

Tonight, I was on this website for work and one of my coworkers praised me.  I didn't really think people notice my smile, or how I try to stay positive.  But here she was (and she is one of the nicest girls I have ever met) basically telling the company that she doesn't know how I do it.  Really?  I mean how can that not put a huge smile on my face.

To hear people want to say hi to me when I'm on my break, or make a solid effort to do things in appreciation of something I have no trouble doing?  Jeez, it truly makes a girl feel special.  I mean a lady brought me (well the pharmacy, but she made sure I was working too) cookies today.

I've felt spoiled.  And it comes at a time when I was feeling a little down.  So to get these compliments from people who may not be total strangers, but people who don't really know me all that much, it really makes my heart swell.  It means I'm doing something right in making others feel important.  Truth be told, I love seeing other people smile, to see that twinkle eye when they know someone cares.

Compliments....they really do go a long way with making this girl feel like she's a star.

Time Flies....

Here's a fun fact for you all.

It has been a year since I returned home from my week long "vacation" at Yale New Haven.

I knew the anniversary was coming up, but I didn't know exact dates.  I went back in this blog and saw I went home on the 21st.  Which means that yesterday was the wonderful day that I gained my freedom back.

A lot has changed since I went into the hospital that early early Monday morning.  For starters, I know exactly what I have and why my stomach had been acting up.  I'm still the stubborn girl who got pissed off she had to stay at the hospital, but I'm trying not to close up when things don't go my way (my parents may disagree how well I'm doing on this one....).  While I had all these hopes when I got out that I would be magically cured, I know now that a cure isn't possible and that I may have flair ups the rest of my life, but with rest and guidance from my doctor, I can get through it.

I learned other things.  That I'm stronger then I was when I first went into the hospital, and even when I first got out.  Also, I'm more open to what is going on with my health which was not the case before going in.  I hid how bad it really was, because I had written it away that the problem would go away without doctor's help.  Now, I tell my parents everything, even when I have random bruising on my legs (which is really annoying by the way but I'm hoping the summer will make it not as noticeable).

I can remember how weak I felt when I got out that Friday afternoon, but how extremely excited I was to be out, to have McDonalds, to go in and see people from work.  I remember being excited to go to a Bluefish game, and to the Seas after the game, making jokes with Blair about the world ending and him using that as a pick up line.  I remember how the world just felt so new because I had spent the week, hooked up to various machines, in a bed, not able to do anything on my own.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to that excitement of a brand new world and other times I realize I wouldn't want to.  I enjoy my life.  While there are tears, they have been mostly of joy as of late which a year ago they were mostly of frustration and sadness. And my world is exciting, just not in the getting out of the hospital and things are going back to normal kind of way....

Let's Set the World on Fire....

This is my wonderful brother and I.  It's from a few summers ago, when we traveled to the Jersey shore for a family trip.  And during this wonderful photo shoot, I tried to force my brother into taking a picture with me.


Tomorrow, my "little" brother graduates from University of Rhode Island.  To say that I'm proud is a complete understatement.  I have told EVERYONE at work that he's graduating this weekend and how proud I am of him.  I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing me talk about this.


I've always admired Chris because he has lived his life to the fullest.  Seriously, during high school he was Homecoming King and a three sport althete.  For the least coordinated person in the world, I was always his biggest fan.  College, he has made a nice group of friends up there in that tiny state.  And while he parties a lot, he has learned how to buckle down to get that studying done.


I have watched Christopher grow up into a wonderful young man.  He and I used to fight like cats and dogs, but now?  We stick up for each other and make sure that nobody, and I mean nobody, hurts the other.  My little brother has gotten so many compliments about how well he's raised and I couldn't agree more.  He really is a special human being.


And tomorrow, he's closing one chapter of his life, and going to make some amazing changes in this world.  I get choked up whenever I think about how he is going to embrace the real world and just rock it completely.  I already know I'm going to cry tomorrow because I am so proud of him.  And I don't tell him that often, but I really am so proud to be his big sister and see him become the young man he is today.  Tomorrow, I will be the one clapping the loudest, with the biggest smile on my face, because my little brother is going to do some amazing things in this world.  Just you watch.

Strong Enough To Lift Both of Us

To continue on with sharing my love for music, I think you should hit play on the song on the left and listen to a combination in music that many people would not expect.  Which is one of the things I love most about music, hearing a country girl sing with a rapper.  Ah-MAZING.

Funny to think that song kind of goes along with this weekend.  When you have good people around you, they are willing to lift you up and be strong enough to help carry you when you need help.  And boy, have I felt that countless times with my friends, but also witnessed it this weekend.

My friend Pam went off to training for the Air Force (I am probably wrong about this so I apologize Pam).  She has been dating my dear dear friend Louie for a while now and he was devastated when she left.  So we all tried to take him out and keep his mind off of it as much as possible.  

On Saturday night, we surprised Louie with Pam showing up at the local pool hall when he thought she was returning home this Tuesday.  I never saw big teddy bear Louie cry before Saturday night.  It felt amazing to surprise a friend with such a good surprise.

Sometimes, I wonder about being strong enough for the people around me, and not letting them see at my weakest points.  But then I think to myself that those people I try to keep out have seen me during my low points and have stuck around.  I don't understand why they do stick around most of the time, but I guess that's what you do when you truly care about someone.  It's a give and take with who has to be strong for the both of you at specific times.

Cause You Never Had it So Good

I realized something as I was getting ready for work today....

It's almost a year since I was rushed to the hospital and got to spend a week with the lovely staff at Yale Hospital.

Now some may be wondering why I remember that wonderful anniversary, or even care.  But it is an extremely important milestone in my life.  I was not in a good place then, and I've grown leaps and bounds.

And I have to say, with the year anniversary approaching, I could not be happier to where I am, and look forward to all the growing up I still get to do.