Thank You

This year I have been truly blessed.

Yes, this is an odd statement coming from me especially after 2013.

Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about all the people who have been there for me during those dark days.  And those people who do everything in their power to make me laugh or smile.  The people who make me feel light again.

I have to believe my wonderful angel has placed certain people in my life.  The people who have pulled me out of my shell when all I wanted to do is hide.  The people who tell me what a beautiful soul I have.  The people who have cared for me even with a simple hello or smile or a heart text message because they woke up in the middle of the night thinking of me.

It's hard to believe that most of the people who I'm close with today were barely in my life last year.  These people I consider family, who I know will be there for so many years to come.  I'm so grateful for these friends, who continue to deal with my tears, and sadness, but also my complete joy and happiness when I'm around them.  I'm grateful for the people who continue to support me even after those scary, early dark days.

I can not put into words how grateful I am for all the loving support I have received over this past year.  I always knew I was blessed from the support I had throughout my many hospital stays, but the overwhelming love that we have gotten has been unreal.

To the friends and family who read this:  Thank you so much for the love you have sent me throughout this difficult journey.  For the cards and the letters and the well wishes.  Thank you for the countless hugs, for the dance parties when I didn't want to feel all the feelings.  For the patience with dealing with me especially on the days that I become way too quiet or was feeling really down.  The patience to hearing more stories about my dad then more people could tolerate.  Essentially thank you for being you, and for helping me along this weird long little journey that I ahve started down.

 

Friday Fun

Life knows when you need an old friend to pop back into your life.  

You know those friends.  The people who you don't talk to all the time but when you do get back together, it's like no time has passed.

Julia walked into work on Friday and tears sprung into my eyes at not only the surprise but the fact that she took the time to come visit.

The last time I saw Julia was at my dad's wake and I can't remember the time before that.  We have tried to email back and forth but life sometimes just gets too busy.  Plus we had opposite schedules for a while there so we could never make set plans.

But for two hours, in a Starbucks next to work, Julia and I caught up with everything that has been happening in our lives.

If I'm honest, it was a perfect way to end a loooong week.  Old friends.  Great conversations.  And, a great drink.

(I told you I would blog more....)

Friday Favorites

Oh hi old stranger.  Lovely to see you again.  Here are few of my favorite things.

1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.  I wanted to read the book because it's coming out in theaters but the book exceeded my expectations.  I laughed.  I cried.  And I could no believe how much this book hit close to home.

2. Speaking of books....Words from a Wanderer by Alexandra Elle.  I found this on Amazon the day I went on a book splurge and it's beautiful.  I enjoy reading the encouraging words before work at Starbucks.

3.  Snapchat conversations with one of my best friends Tenzin.  Which includes her view of lunch at the hospital when she works the evening shift.  Makes me miss her a whole lot.

4.  Spring Break Memories.

5. Jamming to country music because I want the warm weather more then I want anything else.  But seriously, can someone tell me what's better then hearing country music to get you ready for summertime and beers with your best friends.

Things Happened in 2013

I saw someone do a blog post on what they did in the year 2013. 

I love lists.  I especially love best of lists.  So here we go...

In 2013, I....

...went on a cruise on one of the biggest boats in the world.

...went to some amazing concerts with some of my favorite people.  Big shows or small shows.  I couldn't complain.

...interviewed with Yale and while I didn't get it,  I interviewed.

...established a small family with a wonderful group of ambitious people who I couldn't be more thankful to have in my life.

...watched my best friend get married to the love of her life.

...lost one of the most important people in my life.  I miss my father every single day but I am so blessed to have had him in my life for 26 years. 

...DID NOT END UP IN THE HOSPITAL THE WHOLE YEAR!!!!!

Here's to finally ending this overall miserable year where my life was changed completely but I am still moving forward trying to stay positive.

Happy 2014 everyone.  Here's to a year filled with positivity, love, laughter, health and amazing friends.

Friday Favorites

Not only do I love Friday's because it's the start of the weekend, but also because I can share my favorite things with you all.

1. This song.  Like most songs I write about on here, it speaks to my soul. I think this song is one hundred percent better without Christina in it (sorry I had to say it).  Those piano cords and his voice rip out my soul in such a good way.

2.  That I get to spend the dreaded 13th of the month with my Dad's best friend slash our neighbor Joe.  Was it weird that one of my Dad's best friends was an 83 year old man? Not really.  Is it weird that I'm tickled pink whenever I get to talk to him or hear that he talked highly about me at work?  Not even close.

3. These girls. This family. This picture. Our memories.

4. Text messages from important people in my life telling me what a wonderful special person I am.  Yes, this is selfish, but I got two text messages this week that honestly put such a huge smile on my face because I'm reminded how many great people I have in my life.

5. Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks and the wonderful baristas that welcome me with bright personalities every morning.  It's a great way to start a day.

Let me leave you with this piece of advice that I am reminded of every day, but especially on the 13th of the month.  Let your loved ones know how important they are to you. Hug people who you adore and tell them you love them.  Embrace the good in your life.  Because you will miss it when it's gone.

Motivational Monday

Because let's be serious, who actually enjoys Monday?

Let's start writing some beautiful stories friends

 

Winding Down from Thanksgiving

Another weekend coming to a close and part of me couldn't be happier about that.

Weekends are hard. No easy way to put that.  Weekends I have a lot of time to sit around and think.  And having time to think is not a good thing to do.

Last night I sat around with Chris and his best friends from high school.  These are the kids who I have watched grow up into some pretty amazing adults.  They are taking the world by storm all over the East coast and yet they come together every now and then to catch up and go out.

I love that.

As we were sitting there, I reminded them about last year Thanksgiving Eve when my dad drove all their drunk asses home from the bar.  One of them looks at me, says "Funny story," and proceeds to tell us that when he got out of the car, he got sick in his driveway.

As I sat around the table with them, I imagined my dad walking into the kitchen, telling everyone hello, and continuing on with his night of watching television.

Its moments like that I really miss my dad.  When he would be so impressed with the people that my brother and his friends have become.

A Thankful Post a Few Days Late

Thanksgiving was a few days ago.  If this is any preview for the holidays, they are going to suck big time.  But with family, and some wine, I think I can survive them.  Plus I have this huge plan for the month of December that might make me feel better this year.  I wanted to do big things last year and never followed through.  This year, I just might make it happen.

 Anyway, on Sunday I went to a Friendsgiving and we were instructed to write down 10 things that we were thankful for.  We laughed, we cried, we toasted.  But it was nice to sit with my closest friends and share what I am thankful for every day.

1. I'm thankful for my health.  I'm on an ever present roller coaster ride but this year, the ride hasn't been horrible.  And for the first time in years (knock on wood....) I have yet to end up in the hospital for any sorts of time except to visit my mother.

2. I'm thankful for patience.  While I have little patience most of the time, I haven't acted out in my many thoughts of screaming at mean people or annoying coworkers.

3.  Food, especially nachos.

4. Pictures to remind me of all the great memories.

5. And my family which includes the friends that have turned into family.  I have leaned a great deal on them in the recent years of my life but nothing compares to this year.  My mother and brother have been my rock.  My work friends and Milford family have seen ugly sides of me and still loved me regardless.  And every single person who has text messaged me, stopped by, called or reached out in some way, it means the world to me.  I lost one of the most important family members in my life this year, and I am especially thankful that I had him in my life for 26 years.

I'm a firm believer in constantly telling those around you how thankful you are for them daily.  It shouldn't just be a once in a year thing.  I think we should always tell those we love how much we love them, including tons of hugs every day.

Friday Five

1. I caught the eight o'clock show of Catching Fire with Emily and Liz.  Basically, it was amazing and I'm not just saying that because I loved the series.  Gone was the shaky camera angles that plagued the first movie.  And in turn, we saw each character's story grow deeper.  Also, it doesn't hurt that Jennifer Lawerence is beautiful.

2.  Friendgiving this Sunday.  Wonderful food.  Great drinks. And even better friends.  What more could a girl ask for to end a week.

3.  Love letters.  Not only do I look forward to getting them, but sending them makes me really happy.  I love knowing that a letter will hopefully bring a huge smile on my friends faces.

4. Catching up on with old work friends over dinner.  After a really crappy reason to get together with former coworkers, to be able to go out for a quick meal was refreshing.  

5. Buzzfeed articles.  If you don't find at least one article upon looking up the website you enjoy, then I feel sorry for you.  I mean who doesn't love lists?

Best Friends Make the World Go Round.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This weekend, my very best friend is getting married.  And I could not be more excited for her.

I have known Stacey since I started school.  I remember sitting next to her in the circle, maybe because we were sitting in alphabetical order. I introduced myself, and was quickly told that I couldn't be her best friend, because a girl named Amanda knew her longer.

And all these years later, we are all still friends.  

Stacey is my sister in all sense of the word.  We have complained about countless guys, and I'm sure there have been tears.  There have been countless nights out which has started to include alcohol as we grew up.  The most special part of our sisterhood is that no matter how much time passes that Stacey and I don't talk to each other, we pick up right where we left off; chatting away like two little girls from all those years ago.

I remember the day that Stacey brought Brett over to meet everyone.  We were having a party, and Stace was so nervous to introduce Brett to my Dad because she was introducing him to her other father.  And my dad.....God he loved Stacey.  He was so happy that she was getting married.  He couldn't wait to make the journey to New Jersey to watch his other daughter get married. 

I can't wait to see my very best friend, and sister get married this weekend.  I am so honored to watch Stacey marry her best friend and be part of her very special day. 

To Stacey, who I know is one of my number one readers:  I know you are going to make the most beautiful bride.  My dad is going to be right there, watching you with a huge smile on his face.  I love you tons.

Getting Back to Normal

Ever have one of those perfect moments?  When you back to think about it, all you can do is smile.

That was Saturday afternoon after work.

I went to meet up with my family and brother at a local bar.  We haven't all gotten together in a very long time and it was nice to all sit there, laugh and tell stories about things going on in our life.  It was amazing, especially after all the troubles from last week.  

To be with some of the people I love the most?  In a place that I enjoy a lot?  It was wonderful.

Tomorrow I'm going to an engagement party.  I personally can not believe I have come to the time of my life where I will be attending engagement parties and bridal showers.  Where I will be having to buy wedding presents and pretty dresses instead of what will survive a crazy college party.

When I dress up in my cute dresses, I almost feel like I'm playing pretend.  The "formal" night on the cruise made me feel as if I'm a child in an adult body never understanding the proper way to act because she hasn't grown up completely.  But I like this whole trying to become an adult thing.  Part of me feels as if I will start to get the hang out this growing up thing, eventually.

I know that the child in my will always be there though.  Just check out the picture in the post below where I'm dressed up in a beautiful dress but making faces along the way.  I'm totally fine with that.

Wordless Wednesday: Spring Break Edition

Life Lessons at 26

Two years ago; a snapshot of a wonderful accomplishment

Since today is my 26th birthday, I decided that I should write some lessons that life has taught me.  Enjoy.

1. Nothing is better then receiving a hand written letter in the mailbox from a friend.  I not only love sending them, but getting them makes my whole day.

2. You can judge how good a restaurant is by their nachos.  If you don't agree with me, then you obviously have never tested this.

3.  Hospital visits can be stressful, but it's always important to try and be kind to those who are taking care of you.  Health care providers aren't going to be so nice to you if you are being an asshole.

4. Capture as many of life moments with a camera.  Being able to look back on all those amazing memories is something I truly love more then words.

5. Travel.  I have been to many states throughout the country and it's been such a wonderful experience every where I have gone.  The getting their part may be hectic (hello getting stuck in airports...) but the fun times I have had during those trips are priceless.

6.  On-line shopping is one of the greatest inventions of all time, but it can also be the devil.  There have been so many times that I have bought new clothes without having to deal with rude people at malls or stores.

7. Music makes my world go round and song lyrics can truly speak to the soul.  If you don't believe that a great song can change your whole mood, then you haven't been exposed to great music.

8.  Enjoy food.  If my stomach problems have taught me anything, it's always enjoy every aspect of a meal.  Even though I know I may be in pain a hour after eating my meal, if it's a good dish, then I will enjoy it. No matter what.

9.  It's completely okay to spend the day in sweat pants, snuggled with blankets, on the couch reading a good book.  I do this on a regular basis and I'm totally okay with being a bum.

10.  I'm also okay with reading my favorite books on a regular basis.  If I absolutely love a book, then I'm excited to go back and see my favorite characters.  In fact, 90% of the books on my book case I have read more then once, and I'm not ashamed of that.

11.  Life seems to be better in the summer time, as well as by the beach.  I think the warm weather wards off the bad energy that winter sometimes provides.  Case in point, I have never had stomach problems during the summer.  And whenever I'm over thinking a problem, if I go to the beach, then I feel completely renewed.

12.  Life will set you up with many obstacles, including many different medical problems.  As long as you try to keep your head up, and surround yourself with a good support system, then you will be able to overcome anything.  Also, even if you think you can't give blood, it's possible.  It's also possible for the girl who used to cry during any sort of shot can look at blood being taken and also give herself her own shots.

13.  It's also possible that as you grow up, you also become more emotional.  It's also possible that those emotions come out more often when you don't feel well.  Also possible to want to cry at the drop of the hat whenever someone is nice to you.  It's fine to be emotional.  Embrace it.

14. Singing on the top of your lungs to your favorite song is acceptable.  While dancing around your room, and having the music blaring.  This dancing/singing combination will let your worries slide away from you.  Dare you to try it.

15. Never be afraid to tell people how much you care about them.  Give them hugs.  High fives when they achieve something good.  Smile at strangers who did something nice to you. Say I love you.  People want to be cared about.  And smiles and hugs can change the world.

These life lessons may be general ideas to some people, or not very profound, but the fact remains they are a few of the things I truly believe in.  I always knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life, but you really know how many people are in your corner when some obstacles come your way.  I want to thank everyone who reads this, who has believed in me, who has given me a hug or words of encouragement, not only in the past 2 years but especially the past 26 years of my life. It means more to me then I think you will ever understand to have you all in my corner.

Happy birthday to me! Here's to many more to come.

Reasons to Love December.

It's beginning to look a lot like the holiday season. Here are a few things I love about December:

Untouched snow

Nights decorated by Christmas lights

Holiday parties with people you love

Giving gifts

Christmas music by Mariah, Britney and NSYNC.  Sorry those are some of my favorites

The food

Candy Cane Hershey Kisses

Capturing memories with pictures

Dressing up

The smell of a fire that lingers in the air (And I'm talking about a fireplace fire...)

Letter writing

Whatever makes you love December and this holiday season, I hope you are able to enjoy it with the people you love.  Maybe you will give a few of my suggestions a try.  Just embrace December but most importantly, be with the people who matter.

Things I'm Thankful For

Part of what I love about the holidays is the time spent with my family.  Thanksgiving is always a great time to reflect on things that you are most thankful for, with most people sharing with those they love all the things they are thankful for.  

I had planned on sharing pictures here every day this week to show some of the people I am thankful for most in my life.  With all the ups and downs this life has given me these past few years, I am incredibly thankful for all the wonderful people in my life.  I have the biggest cheerleaders on my side whenever I start to feel down.  With all my health problems, I have realize that I am extremely lucky to have people willing to help me and my family whenever we are down.  

I am thankful that I was able to enjoy the holiday with my family and eat some delicious foods.  I am thankful that my flare up has gone away and that Natasha and Boris have not been bothering me too much.  I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends, and every single person who has helped me and my family in the past.  I'm thankful for my job, even if I want to rip my hair out sometimes when I'm there.  And I'm thankful for the roof over my head and all the wonderful things my parents have provided me throughout my life.

Olympic Fun with my Sisters <3

Sorry for the fomatting, I'm terrible with computers sometimes.

But here are a few pictures of some of my favorite people, that I am so thankful to have in my life.

La Familia

The Second Family at the Beach

Tenzina and Holly. Two of the girls who make me sane at work

Smiles & Laughs Always

Madison <3

Mandy <3

Brother and Sisters

The Replacement Jen

Nana with the Connecticut Grandkids

Since the beginning.

Some of my favorites.  Really just love this picture

My Girlfriends.

Things I'm Thankful For: Part 1

With Thanksgiving just days away, I decided to share pictures of the various people/things I'm thankful to have in my life.

These are the people that made such an impression for me in college, that I may have lost touch with this past year, but have gotten back in touch with these past few weeks.  I am so thankful for those friendships that will be there no matter

 I remember when we took this picture in the wind tunnel right before I graduated.  I'm pretty sure Alanna said you guys were my proud parents right after taking this.  I was so thankful to have girls like you push me to be the best person I could be throughout senior year and help shape me into the person I am today

To have a roommate my senior year who completely understood everything, boy was I lucky.  And even more lucky to be able to send you a simple text message about silly things now and you completely understand

 I am so glad I met you all those years ago during orientation.  We have been through quite the roller coaster Julia and I am lucky to be riding on this roller coaster with such an amazing friend.  Your emails always make me smile, and I can't imagine not having you in my life. <3

 While you may not have been an actual Husky, I always tie you with my college experience.  Six years and we are still friends, who take silly pictures of napping together after a wonderful spring weekend full of craziness.  One small visit from you can leave me with smiles for the rest of the week.

I never thought I would leave UCONN with another half like I did with you my dear, but I have.  I promise to come visit Boston soon so we both end up with fun stories now that we are entering the later parts of our twenties.  I am most thankful for our nights of just sitting around your coffee table just eating and catching up with life.  

I miss each of these girls so much now that I do not see them every day.  Friendship doesn't necessarily mean being in touch with each other every day.  It does mean being there for each other whenever you need them.  I am thankful to have these girls in my life to lift me up whenever this silly sickness kicks me in my ass.  And I'm also so extremely thankful to have reconnected with them during this whole terrible experience.

It's Time to Begin.

I really enjoy this song so I hope you all would give it a chance as you read this lovely little update.

I'm trying my best to get back to my ordinary life, but sometimes my stupid stomach and leg hold me back.  This weekend I was able to go out with my friends, some of my favorite people in the world.  Shannon and I got spent the whole weekend together along with Tom and his friends.  I have known those guys for a few years now and they always put a huge smile on my face just because they are guys guys who enjoy hanging out with one another, drinking beers and talking about sports.

This weekend was exactly what I needed to get my mind off the fact that my stomach is taking longer to get better then I expected.  Last time I ended up in the hospital with a flare, I was already back to eating regular food, especially with the amount of steroids I'm on.  And now I just feel like my stomach is taking five years to bounce back and I don't have the patience to wait for it to be better.

That's not to say I haven't been able to enjoy my food.  Unfortunately, sometimes, my stomach just hurts a lot after I eat.  Whatever, I make sure to enjoy eating and just deal with whatever pain may come after the fact.  I mean when one goes up to the casino, how does one simply ignore Margaritaville nachos.  Spoiler alert: They don't.

Today is a stay in bed type of day because my leg has been hurting me a little bit.  Natasha and Boris are mad at me from all the fun I have been having.  The leg hasn't swollen at all, but the pain which had all but disappeared is there a bit right now.  As I am typing, I have my legs elevating on a folded over pillow.  

Story of my life.  

And sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Monday Ya'll

I love this quote.  
I love Winnie the Pooh.  
And I love that this can give all the people I care about faith that they are amazing and will do great things in this world.

I'm a Little Drunk On You...

If you are tired of all my pro-summer posts, then I recommend leaving this post right now.  If you aren't, press play on the Youtube video, and enjoy another great summer song provided by a big country artist.

As I was thinking about the concept of a great summer song, I realize most of them are from country artists and I can't say that I hate it.  Country music is all about love, being comfortable in jeans and tshirts and drinking.  And they also happen to have a lot of music about enjoying the summer.  Basically country stars know how to live life a hundred percent.

Part of me believes this song would have been my anthem last summer, but if you think about it, a person can be "drunk on you" with anyone, not just someone they really like.  I'm such a fan of summer that even the most boring activities are better because of the season.  So maybe I'm drunk and high off summer because it's a magical time.  I sometimes wish I could have summer all year long, but then I wonder if I would love it as much as I do now.

Tell me you don't think of a specific person when you hear this song.  Because if you tell me you don't, I will tell you, with all kindness, that I think you are lying.

P.S. This little girl has become a fan of country music again.