This is a difficult week for some of the closest people in my life and my heart aches that they have to go through any pain in their life. I have been blessed with a beautiful family.  But I'm also extremely lucky to have another family, a family that may not be related by blood, but has become my family.  They are some of the strongest people I know, and I'm proud of everything they do.  This second family of mine changes my life whenever we all get together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I have watched my younger sisters and brothers grow into beautifully strong young adults and I couldn't be more proud.  And I know that there are people up in heaven who are smiling at us all, so proud of every accomplishment we have made, helping to wipe every tear we shed, and taking our side when the journey becomes a little too difficult.

While this may not be the most uplifting post to begin a Monday morning, I leave you with words from the Beatles.  Whisper words of wisdom, let it be....

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning....

Yesterday was an important day in America's history, but also for some of my dearest people in my life. September 11th 2001 changed the world that we live in completely.  It showed Americans that even in during one of the biggest tragedies that ever happened to our country, we can come together as a group of people, and help each other mourn and grow and stand tall and heal with one another.

Thousands of lives were lost on that day, caused by an act of hate.  Millions of people were affected, from those who lost family or friends in those towers, or on those planes.  To the men and women who went to defend our nation during a time of crisis in our military.  To those military families who have supported our troops every day that they are away.

There is a man from Milford who had the biggest smile in the world.  His name is Michael and he is cherished by some of the people that I love the most in my life.  Michael worked in one of the towers on that fateful day and it's my understanding that our world lost such a bright star.

Yesterday, when I was at the memorial service in West Haven, I couldn't help but think of my friends who lost Michael 11 years ago.  Michael is a man whose legacy lives on every time a story is told by Kate or Emily or Brad.  Every time we see a lady bug outside.  I got emotional yesterday listening to the speeches and remembering how my friends hurt every day because they miss Michael so much.

And I grew extremely proud of my country.  For a country that pulled together in the darkest time and built itself back up.  For a country that showed that we were stronger then even we expected.  I cried watching that flag go up, and hearing songs for America. Because we are America. Home of the brave.

Walking For A Change

This weekend has inspired me guys, and the world better look out.

I went with the girls from work to Relay for Life up at Rentschler Field in honor of Macy's mom.  It was my first Relay and I was excited to support a coworker who unfairly lost her mother to cancer at an early age.  Macy isn't even 21 yet; she shouldn't have had to go through that.  I had heard from Mary Lou how beautiful Macy's mom was and how much Macy looked like her.  The picture at the camp ground just proved both of those statements to be absolute fact.

Macy was happy to have us there to support her.  I don't know if she really expected us to show up but we did, and we did several laps while we were there.  And it was humbling to say the least.  To see all these people at Relay walking to find a cure, it was heart warming.  Yes, many of these people lost loved ones to cancer, but there they were in their memories.  And the survivors?  They were the most amazing part of the whole day.

As I was completely each lap, I couldn't help look at all the lumanaries and get choked up by all the people who were lost because of this horrible disease.  But how much we are making strives to fight cancer.  I don't know why I didn't really think of Papa, but I was reminded of Christian a lot.  I wish he was there and still able to conquer the world like he had been.  But for every "Miss you Mom or Dad" I saw, I wanted to do something to make a difference.  For my loved ones.  For Macy who wrote she had amazing friends.  But especially for all my loved ones who have been effected by this awful disease.

I've decided to look into helping a friend organize Relay closer to home.  Ricky has been working with Relay since high school and when I was telling everyone I wanted to do something more with it at the beach, they said he needed help with it this year.  And I really want to do something.  I like the idea of someone's legacy continuing on with this wonderful cause of Relay for Life.

Hey world, I'm coming for you!

Even When You're Sleeping....Keep Your Eyes Open

Compliments get me every time.  I'm not good with receiving them because I never expect them.  But I guess that's what compliments do, they sweep you off your feet to make you feel special for that moment, or night, or day.  And I may not be the only one who is bad with receiving compliments, but when I do get them, and they are from good people, it honestly makes my whole day.

These past two days, random people have made my day and I don't even know if they realize they have done this.  And I'm not talking my family and friends because they really do rock.  But acquaintances, co-workers, customers.  And I feel this warmth in my stomach and a smile on my face for most of the day.

One of our regular customers came in today and told someone who was being helped by Holly that I was the best.  And he said it yesterday too when he came in.  He's the one who always makes it a point to come over and say hi to me and ask how I am doing.  And part of me knows he really do care.

Tonight, I was on this website for work and one of my coworkers praised me.  I didn't really think people notice my smile, or how I try to stay positive.  But here she was (and she is one of the nicest girls I have ever met) basically telling the company that she doesn't know how I do it.  Really?  I mean how can that not put a huge smile on my face.

To hear people want to say hi to me when I'm on my break, or make a solid effort to do things in appreciation of something I have no trouble doing?  Jeez, it truly makes a girl feel special.  I mean a lady brought me (well the pharmacy, but she made sure I was working too) cookies today.

I've felt spoiled.  And it comes at a time when I was feeling a little down.  So to get these compliments from people who may not be total strangers, but people who don't really know me all that much, it really makes my heart swell.  It means I'm doing something right in making others feel important.  Truth be told, I love seeing other people smile, to see that twinkle eye when they know someone cares.

Compliments....they really do go a long way with making this girl feel like she's a star.

Let's Set the World on Fire....

This is my wonderful brother and I.  It's from a few summers ago, when we traveled to the Jersey shore for a family trip.  And during this wonderful photo shoot, I tried to force my brother into taking a picture with me.


Tomorrow, my "little" brother graduates from University of Rhode Island.  To say that I'm proud is a complete understatement.  I have told EVERYONE at work that he's graduating this weekend and how proud I am of him.  I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing me talk about this.


I've always admired Chris because he has lived his life to the fullest.  Seriously, during high school he was Homecoming King and a three sport althete.  For the least coordinated person in the world, I was always his biggest fan.  College, he has made a nice group of friends up there in that tiny state.  And while he parties a lot, he has learned how to buckle down to get that studying done.


I have watched Christopher grow up into a wonderful young man.  He and I used to fight like cats and dogs, but now?  We stick up for each other and make sure that nobody, and I mean nobody, hurts the other.  My little brother has gotten so many compliments about how well he's raised and I couldn't agree more.  He really is a special human being.


And tomorrow, he's closing one chapter of his life, and going to make some amazing changes in this world.  I get choked up whenever I think about how he is going to embrace the real world and just rock it completely.  I already know I'm going to cry tomorrow because I am so proud of him.  And I don't tell him that often, but I really am so proud to be his big sister and see him become the young man he is today.  Tomorrow, I will be the one clapping the loudest, with the biggest smile on my face, because my little brother is going to do some amazing things in this world.  Just you watch.

Check That One Off

It's a new me ladies and gentlemen, and that starts with checking stuff off of my bucket list.

And the first thing to be taken off of my bucket list?  Getting a tattoo.

Yes, I finally took the plunge and got the tattoo last night.  Thanks to my wonderful friends who scheduled the appointment and held my hand, I was able to get through it.  Go figure it wasn't as awful as I expected.  Also go figure I wasn't as anxious as I thought I would be.  I held Shannon's hand when it first started because I wasn't sure what to expect.  Then I held her hand when he first started coloring the thing in.

But honestly?  It's really pretty and it's HUGE that I actually went through with it.  I mean, I have wanted this for a while, and when we were sitting around Otools (I think?) I didn't think it would actually happen.  It was just an agreement during drinks right? Nope, the new me champed it and can not wait to get another one (Sorry dad......).

Now onto jumping off Signal over the summer, and taking on a whole bunch of restaurants for the food aspect of my bucket list.

P.S. pictures to come......the ones I have aren't anything amazing, also known as the one that was taken right after getting it done.

Mamma dukes has been home for a day now and I can already tell she is going stir crazy.  And let me tell you, she is such a rockstar.  Not even joking.

When I went to visit her on Thursday, she had already been walking around.  Yesterday, she got released from the hospital, got home, and had to walk that long long pathway to the front door and the even longer distance up the front stairs.  Now for those who don't know pain, it's like a mile when you are in it.  And she did traveled that distance with grace and a silent determination that honestly brought tears to my eyes.

I never would have thought I would be brought to tears by being so happy for someone. The past few days I have been brought close to tears for that.

Now, it's not to say frustration has not set in for mom.  This is a woman who can not stay still at all and is always on the move.  Even when she has a cold, she is moving.  It's nuts.  So to have to stay in bed all day, it's maddening.  And it's going to be a tough journey for her.  But my mom? She's a tough cookie.  She gets up when she can.  She sits on the bed or couch when she can.  I'm pretty sure she is trying her best not to take her pain medication and just deal but sometimes it's just better to take the medication.

Now I'm hear to entertain her as best as I can, but I know it's difficult.  Dad and I sat on Mom's (really Chris's but whatever) bed to eat dinner tonight.  Pizza from down the street.  And we were just trying to lift her spirits, just like her and Dad used to do for me.

My mother is a beautiful woman who has always had a strength and determination that I always admired.  Gotta love her even more now when she is in incredible pain, but still puts on a smile and very rarely complains.

PS. You should see all the get well wishes and such she is getting.  She is SERIOUSLY loved.