America the Beautiful.

I was sitting in an art class when the principal got on the intercom to tell us that two planes had hit the twin towers.  


I didn't realize how these attacks would change my whole world.  I didn't realize that my "family" would lose such a dear loved one whom they would remember at dances throughout the past twelve years.  I didn't realize the huge impact these attacks would be to our whole lives.

I don't want this whole post to be about those vicious attacks, but rather a celebration of those wonderful souls who were lost on that September day.  To the innocent souls of those people on the planes, in those buildings and all those amazing first responders.

Twelve years ago yesterday, we witnessed one of the most horrific acts against our country in recent history.  We also witnessed the best in our society, how our country came together to support those who went through such extreme loss and tried to restore a beautiful city.

To all the people who lost a loved one twelve years ago yesterday, I want to envelop every one of you in a hug.  And to those souls who were lost that day, rest peacefully; you are American heroes.

I love this Flag of Honor which was featured at the Michael Miller dance in 2011 with all the victims names on it.  What a beautiful tribute.

Here Comes the Sun.

Springtime.  A time for new beginnings.  When all the flowers and birds and butterflies come out of hiding.  And the sunshine warms the coldness we felt throughout the winter.  Especially this winter.

What perfect way to enjoy an April 1st then having such a great spring day.  Yes, I was inside at work all day, but I still was able to feel the wonderful spring time before the rain came pouring down to water those May flowers.  

I am so looking forward to the possibilities of a new season changing.  Winter was a trying time for our family and myself.  Health problems and all.  But like I said, I often feel the best during the summertime.  I am going into this month, this season, the rest of this year, with such a positive attitude and nothing but great energy.  Because we all deserve a bit of luck every once in a while and I think it's about time for my family to get some luck.

To A Healthier New Me

I'm very proud of all that I accomplished today.  The list of activities was long; health things for work, cruise things, packing, cleaning my room.

While that list may not seem extensive, I often get side tracked and leave half of said list "to do tomorrow".  And we all know how that story goes; tomorrow the items never get accomplished either.

Anyway, upon taking a "Wellness Review" to see how healthy I am, the computer generated that I am 54 points out of 100.  Thank you machine that calculates my well being after some simple questions that either require a "yes" or "no" or pick between 1 and 5.  

I'm going to try and be more positive though with this health thing.  First, I don't have the pressure of $500 charge because I didn't get something accomplished.  Instead I got it done months in advance.  Second, after the cruise, I'm going gluten free.  I'm lucky enough not to have an allergy like many people I know who have to go gluten free.  Instead I'm doing it for my health and fingers crossed, it'll make the inflammation go down.  Also after the cruise, I plan on working out more.  I may not join a gym, but I don't think it's really necessary to join a gym to be healthier and work out more.  First, spring is almost here and I'm going to try to get back into running.  And I really want to try Yoga....I think the whole stretching your body and learning to breathe correctly is a wonderful way to destress.

So this is my promise to myself, to become healthier starting mid-March when I return from my trip.  It's my body, why don't I try to start taking the best care of it possible?

Life Lessons at 26

Two years ago; a snapshot of a wonderful accomplishment

Since today is my 26th birthday, I decided that I should write some lessons that life has taught me.  Enjoy.

1. Nothing is better then receiving a hand written letter in the mailbox from a friend.  I not only love sending them, but getting them makes my whole day.

2. You can judge how good a restaurant is by their nachos.  If you don't agree with me, then you obviously have never tested this.

3.  Hospital visits can be stressful, but it's always important to try and be kind to those who are taking care of you.  Health care providers aren't going to be so nice to you if you are being an asshole.

4. Capture as many of life moments with a camera.  Being able to look back on all those amazing memories is something I truly love more then words.

5. Travel.  I have been to many states throughout the country and it's been such a wonderful experience every where I have gone.  The getting their part may be hectic (hello getting stuck in airports...) but the fun times I have had during those trips are priceless.

6.  On-line shopping is one of the greatest inventions of all time, but it can also be the devil.  There have been so many times that I have bought new clothes without having to deal with rude people at malls or stores.

7. Music makes my world go round and song lyrics can truly speak to the soul.  If you don't believe that a great song can change your whole mood, then you haven't been exposed to great music.

8.  Enjoy food.  If my stomach problems have taught me anything, it's always enjoy every aspect of a meal.  Even though I know I may be in pain a hour after eating my meal, if it's a good dish, then I will enjoy it. No matter what.

9.  It's completely okay to spend the day in sweat pants, snuggled with blankets, on the couch reading a good book.  I do this on a regular basis and I'm totally okay with being a bum.

10.  I'm also okay with reading my favorite books on a regular basis.  If I absolutely love a book, then I'm excited to go back and see my favorite characters.  In fact, 90% of the books on my book case I have read more then once, and I'm not ashamed of that.

11.  Life seems to be better in the summer time, as well as by the beach.  I think the warm weather wards off the bad energy that winter sometimes provides.  Case in point, I have never had stomach problems during the summer.  And whenever I'm over thinking a problem, if I go to the beach, then I feel completely renewed.

12.  Life will set you up with many obstacles, including many different medical problems.  As long as you try to keep your head up, and surround yourself with a good support system, then you will be able to overcome anything.  Also, even if you think you can't give blood, it's possible.  It's also possible for the girl who used to cry during any sort of shot can look at blood being taken and also give herself her own shots.

13.  It's also possible that as you grow up, you also become more emotional.  It's also possible that those emotions come out more often when you don't feel well.  Also possible to want to cry at the drop of the hat whenever someone is nice to you.  It's fine to be emotional.  Embrace it.

14. Singing on the top of your lungs to your favorite song is acceptable.  While dancing around your room, and having the music blaring.  This dancing/singing combination will let your worries slide away from you.  Dare you to try it.

15. Never be afraid to tell people how much you care about them.  Give them hugs.  High fives when they achieve something good.  Smile at strangers who did something nice to you. Say I love you.  People want to be cared about.  And smiles and hugs can change the world.

These life lessons may be general ideas to some people, or not very profound, but the fact remains they are a few of the things I truly believe in.  I always knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life, but you really know how many people are in your corner when some obstacles come your way.  I want to thank everyone who reads this, who has believed in me, who has given me a hug or words of encouragement, not only in the past 2 years but especially the past 26 years of my life. It means more to me then I think you will ever understand to have you all in my corner.

Happy birthday to me! Here's to many more to come.

State of Grace

I'm a lucky girl.  Yes, I know this statement may seem very weird coming from a girl who just returned from the hospital with the news that she has two blood clots in her leg.  But I'm lucky because I have amazing friends, family, coworkers, and even acquaintances who really just want me to get better.  This whole network of people who have reached out to myself, my parents, or even my brother to send well wishes and words of encouragement.  It's mind blowing.

I have always tried to be truthful in this blog and I'm going to try my best in this post.  When I went to the hospital the other day, I was so fed up with my stomach.  I cried to my dad that Monday night asking why does this particular stupid stomach problem have to happen to a girl who loves food.  And I mean LOVE food.  How many girls do you know who has a food bucket list?  Not many.  But I cried because my stomach hurt.  I cried because I have to put my parents through this. I cried because I keep having to answer the "are you okay" question that is necessary for those who are concerned but gets tiring for those who are the ones being asked.  And I cried for the fact that I will never be one hundred percent healthy again for the rest of my life.  This colitsis this affects so many people, and I just need to buck up and deal with it.

So going to the hospital to get this whole thing squared away......I was pumped.  Never in my life did I think that I would have to go through that whole winter fiasco again.  But here I am, with my leg up and the size of my thigh (okay, that may be a little understatement, but it is pretty swollen).  

This time though, the whole thing feels different.

I'm stronger then I was that December/January; I mean I'm still walking, even if it's a little painful, I'm still walking.  I would like to think I have a little swag in my step now.  If someone knows of a cane that we can pimp out, then you know where to find me.  Plus, I don't plan on just sitting around and letting the world go on around me.  I plan on living life no matter what, and not hide in a shell.  Unlike last time, I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself and just think "It happened again; now let's deal with it."

I'm not going to lie to you all.  I am not happy this has happened to me and this time around we are demanding answers.  I'm going to find out why I keep getting blood clots because two at the age of 25 is a little much don't you think?  And the pain in the leg sucks, along with having to get those stupid shots in my stomach.  Sorry Dad that you have to do those again by the by.  But I'm going to keep my head up high and the smile on my face bright because there is no way in HELL I'm letting this thing beat me again.

I did it once, and I will do it again.  With the biggest support system in MY corner, cheering me on every single step I take and every meal I'm able to eat without being in pain.

I Keep Gushing

Ever read something and just smile because someone absolutely NAILED every emotion you felt?  Cause that definitely happened just now.

I have never been that girl, but I know how it feels to feel broken.  I know how it is to share yourself completely with another, only to be left broken and hurting at the end of the day.

So once again everyone, enjoy one of the most inspiring people of my generation.  Seriously, taking on matters of the heart one day at a time.

Walking For A Change

This weekend has inspired me guys, and the world better look out.

I went with the girls from work to Relay for Life up at Rentschler Field in honor of Macy's mom.  It was my first Relay and I was excited to support a coworker who unfairly lost her mother to cancer at an early age.  Macy isn't even 21 yet; she shouldn't have had to go through that.  I had heard from Mary Lou how beautiful Macy's mom was and how much Macy looked like her.  The picture at the camp ground just proved both of those statements to be absolute fact.

Macy was happy to have us there to support her.  I don't know if she really expected us to show up but we did, and we did several laps while we were there.  And it was humbling to say the least.  To see all these people at Relay walking to find a cure, it was heart warming.  Yes, many of these people lost loved ones to cancer, but there they were in their memories.  And the survivors?  They were the most amazing part of the whole day.

As I was completely each lap, I couldn't help look at all the lumanaries and get choked up by all the people who were lost because of this horrible disease.  But how much we are making strives to fight cancer.  I don't know why I didn't really think of Papa, but I was reminded of Christian a lot.  I wish he was there and still able to conquer the world like he had been.  But for every "Miss you Mom or Dad" I saw, I wanted to do something to make a difference.  For my loved ones.  For Macy who wrote she had amazing friends.  But especially for all my loved ones who have been effected by this awful disease.

I've decided to look into helping a friend organize Relay closer to home.  Ricky has been working with Relay since high school and when I was telling everyone I wanted to do something more with it at the beach, they said he needed help with it this year.  And I really want to do something.  I like the idea of someone's legacy continuing on with this wonderful cause of Relay for Life.

Hey world, I'm coming for you!

Time Flies....

Here's a fun fact for you all.

It has been a year since I returned home from my week long "vacation" at Yale New Haven.

I knew the anniversary was coming up, but I didn't know exact dates.  I went back in this blog and saw I went home on the 21st.  Which means that yesterday was the wonderful day that I gained my freedom back.

A lot has changed since I went into the hospital that early early Monday morning.  For starters, I know exactly what I have and why my stomach had been acting up.  I'm still the stubborn girl who got pissed off she had to stay at the hospital, but I'm trying not to close up when things don't go my way (my parents may disagree how well I'm doing on this one....).  While I had all these hopes when I got out that I would be magically cured, I know now that a cure isn't possible and that I may have flair ups the rest of my life, but with rest and guidance from my doctor, I can get through it.

I learned other things.  That I'm stronger then I was when I first went into the hospital, and even when I first got out.  Also, I'm more open to what is going on with my health which was not the case before going in.  I hid how bad it really was, because I had written it away that the problem would go away without doctor's help.  Now, I tell my parents everything, even when I have random bruising on my legs (which is really annoying by the way but I'm hoping the summer will make it not as noticeable).

I can remember how weak I felt when I got out that Friday afternoon, but how extremely excited I was to be out, to have McDonalds, to go in and see people from work.  I remember being excited to go to a Bluefish game, and to the Seas after the game, making jokes with Blair about the world ending and him using that as a pick up line.  I remember how the world just felt so new because I had spent the week, hooked up to various machines, in a bed, not able to do anything on my own.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to that excitement of a brand new world and other times I realize I wouldn't want to.  I enjoy my life.  While there are tears, they have been mostly of joy as of late which a year ago they were mostly of frustration and sadness. And my world is exciting, just not in the getting out of the hospital and things are going back to normal kind of way....

By the Time You Read This....

After a recent trip to the local library, I was really excited to begin this gem of a book that I had picked off the shelf.  After reading the summary on the back, I was intrigued.  A little girl getting a book on her 12th birthday from the father she lost when she was five?  Who wouldn't want to read a story about a "Manual" that a father wrote to his daughter when he realized he would not be around to watch her grow up.

Now I don't know what it's like to lose a parent and I'm not even going to begin to pretend to understand.  I do have some wonderful people in my life who unfortunately have grown up without one of their parents.  And I see how they wish they could speak with them one more time.

At the age of twelve, Lois receives a manual from the father she lost when she was five.  He has written her every birthday from 12 to 30, the year that he has lost his battle with his disease.  Lois looks forward to every birthday and often references the book for advice from the father she longs to have in her life.  I understand needing advice from a parents at every turn of their life.  And you feel the struggle that Lois goes through without having her father in her life.

I realize that whenever I write about a book I truly recommend it, but who wants to read crappy books?  And I loved this book completely.  After finishing the novel, I wanted to start my own manual for my future children.  I like the idea of a tangible item for someone to reference when times are rough from someone who really does love them.  In a world where our life is absorbed with text messages and Facebook, there is nothing more special then words written in a book, like the ultimate love letter.

Where Are All the May Flowers?

April showers bring May flowers is what the old saying states.

But four days into the month, I think I have seen more showers then the whole month of May.  It's totally fine though because the Earth needed a good watering, but still, some sunshine soon would be a nice thing.

I keep dreaming about the sunshine and summertime.  I changed over my closet yesterday which means I saw all my summer dresses that I hope I get to wear a lot.  And I just got so excited for the possibilities of the summer.  Last night when I went out for dinner, we talked about all the fun adventures we wanted to do.  Summers always hold great memories with my friends and I and we plan on documenting and creating those memories like crazy this year. 

I can not wait for these May showers to go away to give us some beautiful summer weather.
 

Here Comes the Sun....

I'm all about the summer.  It's my best time.  If you notice, the past year plus I have been dealing with these stomach things, I am best when it's the summer.  It's winter or spring when I have a flare up and while the steroids might not let me feel beautiful, summer is when I feel the most like me.

Now because summer is starting, I am making plans.  Big plans.  Because last summer was a magical time, and I want this summer to be the same, if not better.  How are you going to do this Jen, you may be asking yourself? Simple, I'm gonna share some of these plans with you.

1. Jump Signal Rock.  It's not even an option at this point in time.
2. Start running in preparation for my first 5 k at the end of the summer.
3. At least one concert on the green complete with picnic and good friends
4. Beach days
5. Bar crawl with the Milford kids
6. Tons of pictures
7. Backyard BBQ's--including christening Shannon/Brendan's place with a few
8. Bluefish games that include Seas visit after
9. Classy night out with everyone---we get dressed nicely and go out for a nice dinner somewhere we normally don't go. 
10. Dave and Busters
11. Beat Tom at Scramble with Friends
12. Create the ultimate summer music mix--obviously including Everything Tonight

Since I was a little kid, I have always believed the summer was a magical time.  This summer is not going to be any different.  With all of us together, we are going to have a wonderful time kids, just you watch.

A Quick Review on Life

Aside from the creepy two lined entry the other day, I haven't really shared all the amazing things that have been happening/fun adventures I have been on.

First and foremost, I have become a hiker.  Yes, I go hiking at least once a week now and if I don't, I feel like I am miss out completely.  My group of friends like to go on the weekends and sometimes I have to miss out (which makes me really really bummed) but then there are times that we all go and there is normally a lot of laughs and fun times.  I have even gone on some of the harder trails and survived! And ran into a snake and didn't scream or run crying.

Next, I passed the national pharmacy test which basically means I'm getting a raise and promotion at work.  The promotion has been a long time coming because I have basically been doing everything that the job entails for months now.  But whatever, I passed a test I was terrified I was not going to pass.  And I couldn't be more excited or proud.

Now for the part that most people probably come here to read about.  I believe I'm having another flare up which has not been a walk in the park.  Let me tell you, being miserable and wanting to cry all the time?  Not a fun experience let me tell you.  It all began on Saturday really when it truly did suck being at a picnic and having to run away every hour and half basically.  That's the first breakdown during this flare up.  I have been trying to muscle my way through it as strong as I can but this whole colitis thing makes me doubt that sometimes because it truly does kick you on your ass.  It's hard trying to tell someone who doesn't have it what you experience.  A pain in the stomach, pain in my back, wanting to cry all the time and not wanting to stand for long periods of time.  It really is the most awful thing a person can imagine.

On top of all this, I haven't really been eating.  I've become scared once again that whatever I eat will cause me pain so I don't eat large meals anymore.  And when I do eat, I do become uncomfortable.  So on top of not feeling well because of the colitis, I am weak because I'm not eating and that is never a good thing.  I just had one of the first meals in a while, plus a milkshake.  Lemme tell you it was heavenly.  Here's to hoping no pain comes.

So that's life.  I gotta take some tests in order to see if this is a flare up or if it's just an infection or stomach bug.  Such an exciting little life I lead....

Fun.....Because Who Can Hate on a Band With that Name?

Tonight....We Are Young

Open that link.  Close your eyes. And think of that epic classic song from your teen/early twenties.

Because, to me?  This is that type of song for our generation.  

I'm an admitted music freak.  I have loved this song since Glee did it (okay, I can't believe I admitted that) but I have listened to it all the freaking time.  And it's coming on the radio more and more and more.

This song makes you love the amazing people who a person can surround themselves with.  I have some pretty amazing friends who have stayed by my side no matter what.  And I mean who can't love a song that builds to a chorus that just explodes?

Okay, so I'm not the most elegant when I'm talking about this song.....but it's because every time I have heard it, I fall in love with the song and life more.  It's the possibility of a group of friends just doing wonderful things and making memories.  It's about not being afraid of anything around you, even if you are trying to get over some difficult memories.  It's about those people you will always be around, to help them stand up after life difficulties and being able to overcome them.

I dare you not to fall in love with this song.  I dare you not to sing along to the chorus at the top of your lungs.  Or to raise your hands while singing it.

Because I have found those friends that do carry me home....every time I need them.

I Wish I Could Freeze This Moment....

"I wish I could freeze this moment right here, right now, and live in it forever." Peeta Mellark.

Yes, I have become a fan of the Hunger Game series.  Yesterday, I finished the last book and am sad that the trilogy has ended.  I also highly recommend this series to anyone of my friends.  I do not own the books, I had heard about them from various people and never went about actually getting them.

Then I learned that Tom had them, and I was super excited.  I was able to read them the past month or so.  And slowly but surely, other people at work have begun to read it as well.  And let me tell you, I have not met one person who does not enjoy it.

This series is a mix of Twilight and Harry Potter.  Tom may hate me for making this comparison, or anyone who has read the series may hate that comparison, but the executives are trying to make The Hunger games into the next big thing.  It has the intrigue of a love triangle that seems hopeless at times but you cheer for both of the guys in the triangle.  And then you have the adventure of the actual games, with the possibly of death at every turn. To imagine a world where children are competing in a field to the death for the entertainment of their government is disgusting.  But it also makes you wonder how the people in the "arena" deal with such a difficult task of having to kill people at a young age.

I am so excited for this to become a movie.  I read somewhere that it needs to do well in the box office in order for the studio to let the other movies get the go ahead.  I'm hoping that it is a success.  While not as many people have read this as Twilight and Harry Potter, I'm hoping people do give it a chance.  If you like dystopias, you are going to love it.  And for those who don't believe me, dystopia is a word. If you like a troubled love triangle, with both guys being good guys for the girl, then here is the book for you.

It's pretty amazing.  How one day, one decision, can change a person's life so much.

Give it a try.  I dare you not to love it. 

Do What You Love.

I have not read through this whole list.  But when you see online that someone has completed a list of secrets and tips to share with the world, that definetely means I need so share that website with whoever is still reading this thing.


Some of these things I whole heartedly agree with.  I feel better when I do work out, whether that be running or dancing, I feel better.  Which is why I'm trying to start working out again.  And the sun?  It's amazing, although I believe they should say life becomes so much easier at the beach.


Starting your day off right is completely important.  This summer I was told every morning that I was beautiful.  While I don't necessarily need someone to tell me this, hearing it from a very important person in my life always made me wake up with a huge smile on my face.  Which is another life secret.


The most important thing I think on the list is about love.  Do what you love, surround yourself with people who love you and keep the people you love close.  I try to push people away, and I do apologize for that, but I try very hard to keep those people I love within my inner circle.


And by inner circle I mean in arms length to give a huge hug to whenever they need it.


So whoever still reads this bad boy, please click the link down below.  And expand your life with these helpful tips and secrets.

Little Life Secrets