Happy Monday Ya'll

Gotta love a doctor offices.

We got there probably 10 minutes early, not for any particular reason just to make sure we were on time.  The office was a little crowded, but it's a Monday morning so it's to be expected.

As the room continued to crowd with new arrivals, I started to get nervous that there wasn't going to be enough chairs, and if that became the case, I would have probably offered up my chair.

Anyway, they began calling people in for their appointments.  Bam. Bam. Bam. Names were being thrown left and right.  Eventually, my name was called, and I went in to see the doctor, who I think just really loves life.  He really seems to embrace everything good with life.

Anyway, the actual time I saw the doctor didn't last long.  To say it was 10 minutes long would be pushing it.  He asked me how the pain level was, asked what type of medication I was on.  He asked if I saw the blood doctor yet, then told me he couldn't really do anything until the blood doctor does his tests.  Thank you so much for wasting my Monday morning with an appointment I didn't even need.

I did ask about my freakish bruising.  He said bruises do occur and I shouldn't be alarmed when I see bruises on myself.  He said as long as the bruises seem to be going down, then that's a good thing.  Personally, I think it's a good thing that my bruises/discoloration seems to be disappearing.  But that's just me.

It's Time to Begin.

I really enjoy this song so I hope you all would give it a chance as you read this lovely little update.

I'm trying my best to get back to my ordinary life, but sometimes my stupid stomach and leg hold me back.  This weekend I was able to go out with my friends, some of my favorite people in the world.  Shannon and I got spent the whole weekend together along with Tom and his friends.  I have known those guys for a few years now and they always put a huge smile on my face just because they are guys guys who enjoy hanging out with one another, drinking beers and talking about sports.

This weekend was exactly what I needed to get my mind off the fact that my stomach is taking longer to get better then I expected.  Last time I ended up in the hospital with a flare, I was already back to eating regular food, especially with the amount of steroids I'm on.  And now I just feel like my stomach is taking five years to bounce back and I don't have the patience to wait for it to be better.

That's not to say I haven't been able to enjoy my food.  Unfortunately, sometimes, my stomach just hurts a lot after I eat.  Whatever, I make sure to enjoy eating and just deal with whatever pain may come after the fact.  I mean when one goes up to the casino, how does one simply ignore Margaritaville nachos.  Spoiler alert: They don't.

Today is a stay in bed type of day because my leg has been hurting me a little bit.  Natasha and Boris are mad at me from all the fun I have been having.  The leg hasn't swollen at all, but the pain which had all but disappeared is there a bit right now.  As I am typing, I have my legs elevating on a folded over pillow.  

Story of my life.  

And sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.

State of Grace

I'm a lucky girl.  Yes, I know this statement may seem very weird coming from a girl who just returned from the hospital with the news that she has two blood clots in her leg.  But I'm lucky because I have amazing friends, family, coworkers, and even acquaintances who really just want me to get better.  This whole network of people who have reached out to myself, my parents, or even my brother to send well wishes and words of encouragement.  It's mind blowing.

I have always tried to be truthful in this blog and I'm going to try my best in this post.  When I went to the hospital the other day, I was so fed up with my stomach.  I cried to my dad that Monday night asking why does this particular stupid stomach problem have to happen to a girl who loves food.  And I mean LOVE food.  How many girls do you know who has a food bucket list?  Not many.  But I cried because my stomach hurt.  I cried because I have to put my parents through this. I cried because I keep having to answer the "are you okay" question that is necessary for those who are concerned but gets tiring for those who are the ones being asked.  And I cried for the fact that I will never be one hundred percent healthy again for the rest of my life.  This colitsis this affects so many people, and I just need to buck up and deal with it.

So going to the hospital to get this whole thing squared away......I was pumped.  Never in my life did I think that I would have to go through that whole winter fiasco again.  But here I am, with my leg up and the size of my thigh (okay, that may be a little understatement, but it is pretty swollen).  

This time though, the whole thing feels different.

I'm stronger then I was that December/January; I mean I'm still walking, even if it's a little painful, I'm still walking.  I would like to think I have a little swag in my step now.  If someone knows of a cane that we can pimp out, then you know where to find me.  Plus, I don't plan on just sitting around and letting the world go on around me.  I plan on living life no matter what, and not hide in a shell.  Unlike last time, I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself and just think "It happened again; now let's deal with it."

I'm not going to lie to you all.  I am not happy this has happened to me and this time around we are demanding answers.  I'm going to find out why I keep getting blood clots because two at the age of 25 is a little much don't you think?  And the pain in the leg sucks, along with having to get those stupid shots in my stomach.  Sorry Dad that you have to do those again by the by.  But I'm going to keep my head up high and the smile on my face bright because there is no way in HELL I'm letting this thing beat me again.

I did it once, and I will do it again.  With the biggest support system in MY corner, cheering me on every single step I take and every meal I'm able to eat without being in pain.

I Love My Team, Man I Love My Team

Surprise! Reporting, once again, live from Yale New Haven, this is Jennifer.....

Sorry, I need a little humor to entertain me and put my mind's at ease on how this is all beginning once again.

I'm sure this is not a surprise to many people who read this blog, I have been admitted to Yale once again.  Yesterday, I waited patiently like a organ donor for a bed to open up in the regular hospital and got admitted like a normal person this go around. Goooo meee!

Upon arrival, my limp became more distinguished thanks to the pain in my calf.  You have to understand, I was under the full impression that this was simply a flare up and that my leg was from dehydration on top of lack of whatever vitamin I was lacking.  When the doctor found out about my history with blood clots, they ddecided to send me for an ultra sound.  Well, I am so freaking lucky that they did because turns out I have ANOTHER blood clot.  Yayyyy me!  Sorry, once again I sometimes use humor in inappropriate places. 

Turns out there is a link between my colitis and my blood clots.  When I have these flare ups, I am more likely to have a blood clot on top of it.  This go around, the blood clot doesn't hurt as much as the first one did.  The first one was awful, but this one is truly doable.  At the moment, I have it propped with pillows and waiting for the family to come back to visit.  

What does this mean for me now you may be asking?  

Well, for starters it means I am here until at least tomorrow.  Today, I got shot up with the equalivant of liquid prednisone and it's reacting ten times better then the pills I received last week.  The doctor said that due to the flare up, I was not able to absorbs the proper dosage, and with the IV, I know that it will get straight to making me better.  This also means I get to try the whole eating thing, and when Dr. I came in today to see how I was, he was extremely happy to seem me chowing down on a sandwich (even if it's just from the cafe....).

This also means I have to go back on the blood thinning medication, with the possibility of being on it for the rest of my life.  While I don't think that sounds like the most amazing thing, if it means I'm not going to have blood clots anymore then I'm down for whatever.  The shots are just as awful as I remember and I wish beyond anything else that I don't have to take them, but it's the life that I lead.

Hopefully next week I'll return back to work with some necessary steps to accomodate me.  Yes, I know I'm wishful thinking, but the fact of the matter is I'm bored out of my mind just sitting in a bed doing absolutely nothing all day.  I am my mother's daughter after all.  As for now, I'm looking forward to dinner and some quality time with my family.  They really have been the most amazing people throughout this whole thing.

I also want to thank EVERYONE for everything they have done for my family and I the past few days.  Messages on Facebook, texts, calls, visits, prayers, well wishes and everything.  I have cried many happy tears the past twenty four hours for being so very very thankful with the outpouring of love I have experienced from everyone.  I'm a lucky woman.  And to have such an amazing support system backing me and telling me how strong I am makes me so proud to have my team.

For those who are closest to me, my desire for a tattoo has been discussed many times, with no date set for a variety of reasons.  Blood thinners, lack of funds, lack of guts.

I've made a decision though.  While the holiday season tends to take a lot of money outta a person, I plan on putting some money aside.

And I've decided, with the help of someone actually making the date because I don't think I'm going to be that brave, the date.

What would be more perfect then the year anniversary I had to go to the hospital because of Henry?

So there it is.  December 27th if I don't have the tattoo on my hip, I'm going to be extremely upset with myself

Seven Months Later....

There is a sense of irony that I would finish my Warfarin about seven months after I was rushed to the hospital for not being able to walk, and subsequently discovering I had a blood clot which I later named Henry.

Today marks the day I had been wishing for since starting my Warfarin.  The last day I have to take it.  Today is the last day I am able to take a full dosage and thus means I am done after today's 15 mg dose.  

To say I am relieved is the understatement of the year.

I have had to deal with Henry now for seven months.  Those are seven very long months.  From crawling on my ass to get to the bathroom before we knew what it was, to graduating to crawling down the stairs when I needed to go to doctor's appointments, trying to laugh as I rang in the new year in a wheel chair, returning to work, having to deal with swelling if I was on it for too long, the countless ultra sounds and blood works, to the moment when I was told Henry was gone, and the time I would eventually go a day without thinking about the blood clot.  It's been a long journey for my family, friends and I.

While the journey continues with us discovering why I got Henry in the first place, today marks the first day of the new year that I can say I'm officially off one of my medicines that I started that day in December.  To not have to worry about taking those 2.5-3 tablets every night is going to be a serious highlight of July.

I wish I could say I'm done with blood work, but that's not even close with the other medicines I'm taking.  Small steps though right?

I really do want to thank everyone who has helped me throughout this journey of mine, especially when I was down and your kind words brought me back up.  I don't know what I would have done without my mom, dad and Chris, who were a constant support from those first few hours.  Mom, I still remember laughing to the point of tears when I had to scoot to the bathroom, before we knew the severity of the whole situation.  Your tears may have been from laughter, mine was a combination of laughter and pain now that I think about it.

Don't worry folks, I promise to keep updating this thing.  It's a form of escape for me, and while I have been failing at updating recently, I have some things I need to work out in forms of entries in here.  Even if nobody else reads this, at least I have something to show about this journey with Henry and the colitis.  Goodness, I sound like a 90 year old and not someone who is 24 years old.

Pictures From the Hospital

 Christopher said this was my E.T. finger.  The end of this glowed red from Monday to Wednesday and I believe it kept my pulse.  The number was posted on where they kept my heartbeat monitored.  I just like the idea of me being E.T. for a few days

This was my view for the second half of the hospital stay but it's also where I stayed the beginning of the week.  The place is beautiful with some very nice people in it.  But it's not such a bad sight to look at.  And if you note the garden at the bottom of the picture? My dad wants to make one of those at our house.  A reflecting garden if you will.

So these are the two pictures I took while I was at the hospital along with the picture of the Italian ice that I posted last week.  Today I tried to get my blood drawn but that was an unsuccessful trip.  First, I waited in the waiting room for what had to be an hour, watching a family TAKE PICTURES in the waiting room of each other.  When I finally went in, my girl Helen was finally back and she informed me that my veins were shot and she couldn't get any blood.  So that means resting the veins for a bit, putting heat on them, and retrying later this week.  Let me tell you, it hurt like a bitch today when she did try.  Silly veins let's get your act together please

Reporting Live....

Right now I am in a new room.  With the view outside of the window being the old building I was just transferred from.  I realize that those sentences do not make sense but I could not find the irony of staring at the building I just was in for three days.

In this new room, I have a roommate who has a ton of visitors at the current time.  I have mom, dad and Chris crowded by the wall, I feel kind of bad about it.  Chris is sitting on the floor trying to get comfortable but he's so big that it's difficult for him to fit in this area.  I don't know how I will be able to do this whole roommate thing, but I'm hoping I will be out of here by tomorrow night.

Dr. I is going to do the procedure tomorrow at three which means I will be worrying until then.  Supposedly the drugs are the best things in the world, but it still makes me uneasy.  I guess I will finally have my answers though which is what I have to keep reminding myself.  I'm still on the clear liquid diet, but he discouraged me to have the watermelon Italian ice so it looks as if it will be chicken broth for me.

I'm also going to be getting an ultrasound sometime tonight to make sure the blood clot has not changed at all.  The plus about the ultrasound though is I know what to expect, the other procedure, not so much.

OH!! One of the best things since this morning is I am able to walk about, Dr. I actually encouraged it.  However, he told me the bad news that I will have to get the belly shots again to pick up my INR numbers which I do not look forward to at all.  But that's a small price to pay to get out to Washington this summer.  And most importantly be able to eat whatever I want.

Hey Hey Hey Goodbye

As many of you know from either my facebook or an email from my mom, HENRY IS DISAPPEARING!!!

The doctor told me yesterday that the blood clot has gotten much smaller and it's almost gone.  He wants me to continue with the Warfarin until after my trip to Washington in July.  Originally he said I could be done with it in June, but when I mentioned the trip he said stay on it till after I got home.  He said I didn't need to do blood work every week anymore but every two weeks.

And he also told me to just live my life.  At this point in the appointment I started to cry.  Huge surprise right?  He told me to let it out and stressed the fact that I needed to live my life and not worry about Henry anymore, that stressing is not going to help anything.

I did tell him how difficult it was to deal with Dr. P telling me every week that my INR levels continue to decline and that it was somehow my fault.  He proceeded to tell me that I do not need to worry about my INR levels, that they change throughout the day and that if it was between 1.5 and 2.5 then it was fine.

What's the most frustrating thing about the whole thing is getting two different stories from the different doctors.  But I'm going to trust the experts.  And that means I don't have to worry about Henry anymore, and I can even enjoy a glass of wine (his words not mine).

I cried once again outside and my dad told me I have to start to trust some doctors.  I think he understands why I don't because it's been different stories for four months, but after four months I finally am told good news.  That the freaking clot is almost gone!  And it's finally sinking in that four months to the day I have finally reached the point I never thought I was going to.

So July be expecting a fiesta of epic proportions to celebrate, if that's okay with the parentals.  But I need some celebrating the fact that Henry is GONEEE.  And sorry to say this Henry, but I won't really miss you.

Insert Ranting Title About the Snow Today

Right now, my younger brother is in warm Miami while it's snowing in Connecticut.  It's fine.  I'm not bitter at all.

Today I get to have some blood work done.  YAYYYY.  I can not WAIT till I don't have to do this weekly blood work.  You know it's bad when the lady no longer asks for your name and knows exactly where your paper work is in the folder.  But it was the bitch lady that I had spoken about all those weeks ago and she has grown a personality.  At least she is more talkative and isn't such a bitch.  Thinking about it now though, maybe she wasn't so much a bitch but I was just overly sensitive.  Who knows.

My knee seems to be a little swollen today.  Either it's from standing while at work last night, or it's just I don't know what I'm seeing and beginning to see problems that do not exist.  I'm leaning more towards the second one.

PS Let's talk about all the bad things happening around here.  A dead body found in a park on the town line.  Then someone killed by a bus up at my old school.  Crazy crazy news within a day.  Not a fan at all.

Gernadeeee Whistle

Hello my name is Jennifer, and I have a blood clot.

Hiiiii Jen.

I have been talking a lot about my blood clot recently.  Telling people who may not know, or just telling my friends the real truth about what has been going on.  Plus, Shannon and I decided yesterday that we would name my blood clot Henry.  Not that there is any real rhyme or reason for that one but he's Henry now.

Henry has been acting up a lot this weekend but it's almost to be expected.  I walked around a lot yesterday at the parade and was out late on Saturday as well.  So it's swollen today and in pain after being on it all day today as well.  I don't know if Henry is going to constantly act up always when I over exert myself but I guess that's why this is a learning experience.

Big East championship game....what can I say.  I LOVE my team so much.  Of course I was watching the game while we were out trying to keep my composure because everyone would have made fun of me if I had gone all out.  It was a good game though and I'm so glad we won.  Now onto the BIG DANCE <3

Tomorrow I'm staying off my leg the whole day.  Or at least trying to so Henry can recuperate. 

MUST BE NICE

Warning---this is a complete rant.  Similar to half of my posts when I talk about my doctors.

I've decided to come up with unoriginal nicknames for my doctors because I do not like using actual names on here.

Primary doctor will be Doctor P (get it?)
Vascular doctor will be Doctor C (for the blood clot....decided C because B and P can be confused)
Gastro doctor will be Doctor I (for my insides)

Yes I'm really clever and yes, I hate that I have to come up with nicknames but I've come to terms with it.

ANYWAY, I got a ultrasound on FRIDAY and I'm sitting here at 3 oclock on Tuesday without ANY word from Dr. P about the results of said ultrasound.  Now the other two times I have gotten these done, I have found out what the results were before I left the offices.  I figured because I was at a different office then I wouldn't find out the results right away, expecting a phone call on Monday morning.  When I came back from the services yesterday without a message waiting for me about what the ultrasound said, I got a little upset.  I called, had issues with the phone lines, got even more pissed off.  I can't remember if I left a message or not, I think I did but who knows.  

I expected  a phone call this morning.  Which resulted in nothing.  I called Dr. C's office about fifteen minutes ago and his secretary if she had heard anything from Vanessa.  She had not, and told me the minute they found out anything she would call me.   She reassured me that I was not being a pain which was nice to hear.  I guess Dr. P called Dr. C three times over the course of Thursday and Friday to find out about my Warfarin levels and how that is interacting with my steroids.  But still hanging up the phone left me unsatisfied, because I still don't know what the deal is with the ultrasound.

Another attempt was made to talk to Dr. P and after reaching the office, I was told that she was gone till tomorrow.  I understand that some may find my annoying the doctors silly, but I need answers.  It must be nice to go on a little extended leave from the office without letting one of your patients, who is waiting on results from a test YOU ordered, know that you would be out of the office.  I do not expect Dr. P to plan her life around me, that's not what I'm asking.  I am asking for her to understand that I have been waiting for four days for the results of the ultrasound that I was not scheduled to have on Friday.  I have been understanding, I have been a little ticked off, now I'm just mad.  And even though I want to do everything to contradict what they are telling me because I do not trust them, I know that's not what's best for me.  I am still doing what I was told all those weeks ago, but I am losing faith in doctors.  

To end my rant, UCONN won their first round game of the Big East Tourny.  I LOVE it this time of year (I hope you read that with Pauly D's voice in mind).  March Madness is in full swing and as a avid college basketball fan, I could not be happier

Small World

I finally have something in common with someone famous.  Who you may ask?

Serena Williams.  Okay so maybe we don't have a lot in common, but there is one big issue that we do share.  And that is a dreaded blood clot.  Her situation is much more serious then mine but she is a healthy twenty something who happened to have a surgery and decide to hop on a plane.  Probably not the smartest move she ever did because the blood clot grew, but I now share something with one of the most famous tennis stars of our generation.

 

When I first heard about her pulmonary embolism, I could not believe it.  This was exactly what the doctor told me to look out for that first day at the hospital.  In the above article that I linked, it says that about 6 million people develop blood clots in a year.  Serena and I are two of those people.  I begin to wonder if she will start to take blood thinners; Dad and I agree she won't have to take the generic but get the brand name.  I wonder if she will begin to worry about INR levels.  Yes, I know these are odd things to wonder, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only weirdo to have blood clots at age twenty.