Things Happened in 2013

I saw someone do a blog post on what they did in the year 2013. 

I love lists.  I especially love best of lists.  So here we go...

In 2013, I....

...went on a cruise on one of the biggest boats in the world.

...went to some amazing concerts with some of my favorite people.  Big shows or small shows.  I couldn't complain.

...interviewed with Yale and while I didn't get it,  I interviewed.

...established a small family with a wonderful group of ambitious people who I couldn't be more thankful to have in my life.

...watched my best friend get married to the love of her life.

...lost one of the most important people in my life.  I miss my father every single day but I am so blessed to have had him in my life for 26 years. 

...DID NOT END UP IN THE HOSPITAL THE WHOLE YEAR!!!!!

Here's to finally ending this overall miserable year where my life was changed completely but I am still moving forward trying to stay positive.

Happy 2014 everyone.  Here's to a year filled with positivity, love, laughter, health and amazing friends.

Thankful Thursday

I saw on girl meets life a wonderful idea.  I have believed for some time now that we should all take a small break in our on the go lives to look around and be thankful for the beauty that is in on lives. With the difficult past four months, I think in order to move forward, stating what I'm grateful for is the best idea.

Getting emails from the universe every morning.

Hugs from my mother and brother.

Unexpected letters from friends....and writing them to those I love.

A strangers kindness and smiles, especially during difficult days.

A reemergence of summer.  

Justin Timberlake tickets. 

It's the little things in life; especially those things that make my day a little easier. I'm beyond thankful for the amazing people in my life.  If I have learned anything recently, I am surrounded by beautiful people who love me unconditionally.
 

Best Friends Make the World Go Round.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This weekend, my very best friend is getting married.  And I could not be more excited for her.

I have known Stacey since I started school.  I remember sitting next to her in the circle, maybe because we were sitting in alphabetical order. I introduced myself, and was quickly told that I couldn't be her best friend, because a girl named Amanda knew her longer.

And all these years later, we are all still friends.  

Stacey is my sister in all sense of the word.  We have complained about countless guys, and I'm sure there have been tears.  There have been countless nights out which has started to include alcohol as we grew up.  The most special part of our sisterhood is that no matter how much time passes that Stacey and I don't talk to each other, we pick up right where we left off; chatting away like two little girls from all those years ago.

I remember the day that Stacey brought Brett over to meet everyone.  We were having a party, and Stace was so nervous to introduce Brett to my Dad because she was introducing him to her other father.  And my dad.....God he loved Stacey.  He was so happy that she was getting married.  He couldn't wait to make the journey to New Jersey to watch his other daughter get married. 

I can't wait to see my very best friend, and sister get married this weekend.  I am so honored to watch Stacey marry her best friend and be part of her very special day. 

To Stacey, who I know is one of my number one readers:  I know you are going to make the most beautiful bride.  My dad is going to be right there, watching you with a huge smile on his face.  I love you tons.

Getting Back to Normal

Ever have one of those perfect moments?  When you back to think about it, all you can do is smile.

That was Saturday afternoon after work.

I went to meet up with my family and brother at a local bar.  We haven't all gotten together in a very long time and it was nice to all sit there, laugh and tell stories about things going on in our life.  It was amazing, especially after all the troubles from last week.  

To be with some of the people I love the most?  In a place that I enjoy a lot?  It was wonderful.

Here Comes the Sun.

Springtime.  A time for new beginnings.  When all the flowers and birds and butterflies come out of hiding.  And the sunshine warms the coldness we felt throughout the winter.  Especially this winter.

What perfect way to enjoy an April 1st then having such a great spring day.  Yes, I was inside at work all day, but I still was able to feel the wonderful spring time before the rain came pouring down to water those May flowers.  

I am so looking forward to the possibilities of a new season changing.  Winter was a trying time for our family and myself.  Health problems and all.  But like I said, I often feel the best during the summertime.  I am going into this month, this season, the rest of this year, with such a positive attitude and nothing but great energy.  Because we all deserve a bit of luck every once in a while and I think it's about time for my family to get some luck.

Life Lessons at 26

Two years ago; a snapshot of a wonderful accomplishment

Since today is my 26th birthday, I decided that I should write some lessons that life has taught me.  Enjoy.

1. Nothing is better then receiving a hand written letter in the mailbox from a friend.  I not only love sending them, but getting them makes my whole day.

2. You can judge how good a restaurant is by their nachos.  If you don't agree with me, then you obviously have never tested this.

3.  Hospital visits can be stressful, but it's always important to try and be kind to those who are taking care of you.  Health care providers aren't going to be so nice to you if you are being an asshole.

4. Capture as many of life moments with a camera.  Being able to look back on all those amazing memories is something I truly love more then words.

5. Travel.  I have been to many states throughout the country and it's been such a wonderful experience every where I have gone.  The getting their part may be hectic (hello getting stuck in airports...) but the fun times I have had during those trips are priceless.

6.  On-line shopping is one of the greatest inventions of all time, but it can also be the devil.  There have been so many times that I have bought new clothes without having to deal with rude people at malls or stores.

7. Music makes my world go round and song lyrics can truly speak to the soul.  If you don't believe that a great song can change your whole mood, then you haven't been exposed to great music.

8.  Enjoy food.  If my stomach problems have taught me anything, it's always enjoy every aspect of a meal.  Even though I know I may be in pain a hour after eating my meal, if it's a good dish, then I will enjoy it. No matter what.

9.  It's completely okay to spend the day in sweat pants, snuggled with blankets, on the couch reading a good book.  I do this on a regular basis and I'm totally okay with being a bum.

10.  I'm also okay with reading my favorite books on a regular basis.  If I absolutely love a book, then I'm excited to go back and see my favorite characters.  In fact, 90% of the books on my book case I have read more then once, and I'm not ashamed of that.

11.  Life seems to be better in the summer time, as well as by the beach.  I think the warm weather wards off the bad energy that winter sometimes provides.  Case in point, I have never had stomach problems during the summer.  And whenever I'm over thinking a problem, if I go to the beach, then I feel completely renewed.

12.  Life will set you up with many obstacles, including many different medical problems.  As long as you try to keep your head up, and surround yourself with a good support system, then you will be able to overcome anything.  Also, even if you think you can't give blood, it's possible.  It's also possible for the girl who used to cry during any sort of shot can look at blood being taken and also give herself her own shots.

13.  It's also possible that as you grow up, you also become more emotional.  It's also possible that those emotions come out more often when you don't feel well.  Also possible to want to cry at the drop of the hat whenever someone is nice to you.  It's fine to be emotional.  Embrace it.

14. Singing on the top of your lungs to your favorite song is acceptable.  While dancing around your room, and having the music blaring.  This dancing/singing combination will let your worries slide away from you.  Dare you to try it.

15. Never be afraid to tell people how much you care about them.  Give them hugs.  High fives when they achieve something good.  Smile at strangers who did something nice to you. Say I love you.  People want to be cared about.  And smiles and hugs can change the world.

These life lessons may be general ideas to some people, or not very profound, but the fact remains they are a few of the things I truly believe in.  I always knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life, but you really know how many people are in your corner when some obstacles come your way.  I want to thank everyone who reads this, who has believed in me, who has given me a hug or words of encouragement, not only in the past 2 years but especially the past 26 years of my life. It means more to me then I think you will ever understand to have you all in my corner.

Happy birthday to me! Here's to many more to come.

This is a difficult week for some of the closest people in my life and my heart aches that they have to go through any pain in their life. I have been blessed with a beautiful family.  But I'm also extremely lucky to have another family, a family that may not be related by blood, but has become my family.  They are some of the strongest people I know, and I'm proud of everything they do.  This second family of mine changes my life whenever we all get together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I have watched my younger sisters and brothers grow into beautifully strong young adults and I couldn't be more proud.  And I know that there are people up in heaven who are smiling at us all, so proud of every accomplishment we have made, helping to wipe every tear we shed, and taking our side when the journey becomes a little too difficult.

While this may not be the most uplifting post to begin a Monday morning, I leave you with words from the Beatles.  Whisper words of wisdom, let it be....

I Love My Team, Man I Love My Team

Surprise! Reporting, once again, live from Yale New Haven, this is Jennifer.....

Sorry, I need a little humor to entertain me and put my mind's at ease on how this is all beginning once again.

I'm sure this is not a surprise to many people who read this blog, I have been admitted to Yale once again.  Yesterday, I waited patiently like a organ donor for a bed to open up in the regular hospital and got admitted like a normal person this go around. Goooo meee!

Upon arrival, my limp became more distinguished thanks to the pain in my calf.  You have to understand, I was under the full impression that this was simply a flare up and that my leg was from dehydration on top of lack of whatever vitamin I was lacking.  When the doctor found out about my history with blood clots, they ddecided to send me for an ultra sound.  Well, I am so freaking lucky that they did because turns out I have ANOTHER blood clot.  Yayyyy me!  Sorry, once again I sometimes use humor in inappropriate places. 

Turns out there is a link between my colitis and my blood clots.  When I have these flare ups, I am more likely to have a blood clot on top of it.  This go around, the blood clot doesn't hurt as much as the first one did.  The first one was awful, but this one is truly doable.  At the moment, I have it propped with pillows and waiting for the family to come back to visit.  

What does this mean for me now you may be asking?  

Well, for starters it means I am here until at least tomorrow.  Today, I got shot up with the equalivant of liquid prednisone and it's reacting ten times better then the pills I received last week.  The doctor said that due to the flare up, I was not able to absorbs the proper dosage, and with the IV, I know that it will get straight to making me better.  This also means I get to try the whole eating thing, and when Dr. I came in today to see how I was, he was extremely happy to seem me chowing down on a sandwich (even if it's just from the cafe....).

This also means I have to go back on the blood thinning medication, with the possibility of being on it for the rest of my life.  While I don't think that sounds like the most amazing thing, if it means I'm not going to have blood clots anymore then I'm down for whatever.  The shots are just as awful as I remember and I wish beyond anything else that I don't have to take them, but it's the life that I lead.

Hopefully next week I'll return back to work with some necessary steps to accomodate me.  Yes, I know I'm wishful thinking, but the fact of the matter is I'm bored out of my mind just sitting in a bed doing absolutely nothing all day.  I am my mother's daughter after all.  As for now, I'm looking forward to dinner and some quality time with my family.  They really have been the most amazing people throughout this whole thing.

I also want to thank EVERYONE for everything they have done for my family and I the past few days.  Messages on Facebook, texts, calls, visits, prayers, well wishes and everything.  I have cried many happy tears the past twenty four hours for being so very very thankful with the outpouring of love I have experienced from everyone.  I'm a lucky woman.  And to have such an amazing support system backing me and telling me how strong I am makes me so proud to have my team.

I Keep Gushing

Ever read something and just smile because someone absolutely NAILED every emotion you felt?  Cause that definitely happened just now.

I have never been that girl, but I know how it feels to feel broken.  I know how it is to share yourself completely with another, only to be left broken and hurting at the end of the day.

So once again everyone, enjoy one of the most inspiring people of my generation.  Seriously, taking on matters of the heart one day at a time.

Just to See You Smile.

When I was younger, I always assumed that I would be in a serious relationship by now on the verge of some engagement or already married.  Then life happened and you realize that your life isn't a Disney movie where the prince finds the princess and fights the wicked witch/stepmother to get the girl and live happily ever after.  

My generation grew up watching Boy Meets World, but as college students, we also became obsessed with Sex and the City.  That show proves shows a girl doesn't need a man in her life to live happily ever after.  Sometimes, all a girl needs is her best friends to bring out the real her and the happiness that the prince brought the princess in all those Disney movies.

Throughout the years, I have realized I like to be around people.  Overall, people make me happy and if you are a genuine good person, I will be your biggest supporter.  What I have learned recently is once a person become a big part of my life, I will always care for them, and sometimes unfortunately, be on their side.  But I'm one of those people who believe in the good of people, and will stop at nothing to believe I only surround myself with good people.

I always knew I was lucky to have such great groups of people in my life.  I have always "collected" diverse people in my life and I am grateful for every single thing they have taught me.  And while it seems like everyone I know is getting engaged or married, I'm fine with the loves of my life, my circle of amazing people who I know will always be there for me no matter what I do in my life.  

I want to thank those people, who are always there, no matter what, with a hug, kind words or a smile, to let me know I am one of the luckiest girls in the world.

Let's Run Away and Don't Ever Look Back

I was asked last summer to list off my favorite songs.  And one of them happened to be Teenage Dream by Katy Perry, both her version and the one from Glee.  I love the song, I love how it makes you feel like summertime, and I love that it's about a love that gets you so wrapped up that you want to just run away with that person.

Anyway, I was looking through videos of an accapella group from UConn called the Connmen and I found a gem.  Back when I went to school at UConn, Connmen were pretty amazing.  They have a version of Inside Out by Eve 6 that can take a girl's breathe away.  I found another video that made me giggle and wish to find a guy willing to do this for me because he loves me so much and wants to just make me happy.  Just watch guys.  It brings my favorite song, dance moves from one of my favorite songs and my favorite place, UConn, together.  Enjoy.

 

Walking For A Change

This weekend has inspired me guys, and the world better look out.

I went with the girls from work to Relay for Life up at Rentschler Field in honor of Macy's mom.  It was my first Relay and I was excited to support a coworker who unfairly lost her mother to cancer at an early age.  Macy isn't even 21 yet; she shouldn't have had to go through that.  I had heard from Mary Lou how beautiful Macy's mom was and how much Macy looked like her.  The picture at the camp ground just proved both of those statements to be absolute fact.

Macy was happy to have us there to support her.  I don't know if she really expected us to show up but we did, and we did several laps while we were there.  And it was humbling to say the least.  To see all these people at Relay walking to find a cure, it was heart warming.  Yes, many of these people lost loved ones to cancer, but there they were in their memories.  And the survivors?  They were the most amazing part of the whole day.

As I was completely each lap, I couldn't help look at all the lumanaries and get choked up by all the people who were lost because of this horrible disease.  But how much we are making strives to fight cancer.  I don't know why I didn't really think of Papa, but I was reminded of Christian a lot.  I wish he was there and still able to conquer the world like he had been.  But for every "Miss you Mom or Dad" I saw, I wanted to do something to make a difference.  For my loved ones.  For Macy who wrote she had amazing friends.  But especially for all my loved ones who have been effected by this awful disease.

I've decided to look into helping a friend organize Relay closer to home.  Ricky has been working with Relay since high school and when I was telling everyone I wanted to do something more with it at the beach, they said he needed help with it this year.  And I really want to do something.  I like the idea of someone's legacy continuing on with this wonderful cause of Relay for Life.

Hey world, I'm coming for you!

I Believe In the Sand Beneath My Toes, The Beach Gives a Feeling

 Today was just one of those days that was perfect in every way.  Mom and I headed to the beach, and I really wasn't expecting to see anyone down there.  When we first arrived, Patty was there and then slowly everyone came down.  And I'm not just talking about a few people, but my Milford family all arrived and I was so happy.


I don't think we have all been together at the beach since we were all little.  We all live such busy lives and when we can get together  it really is a special treat.  The beach and summer has always been a special time as I have stated time and time again, but today was especially nice.  The weather was beautiful with the sun shining the whole time and a light breeze to never make it too hot.  In fact, Katelyn and I had to put towels over ourselves because we were cold.


It's hard to describe the pure joy I get with spending time with my Milford family.  We all have different lives but we are always there for each other.  Kate said it best today, "Top ten beach day."  


I become the best person I am when I'm with them.  I become the real me when I'm at the beach.  And if you are lucky enough, you will be able to see it.  My Milford family gets to see it every time I'm with them.  And I dare anyone to go to a gathering of these wonderful women and not crack up with laughter.  Seriously, not possible.


P.S. Ricky was extremely missed on this epic day.  Can't wait for our bar crawl, and other fun parties we have planned for the rest of July.

My Absolute Everything....

This weekend I had the pleasure of celebrating some very amazing people in my life.  Friday was Mom's birthday.  We went out for drinks with our neighbor Joe and his daughter and son in law.  We ran into an old neighbor and she cried and cried when she saw how grown up Chris was and my parents for the first time in years.  Then we went out to dinner at Kumo and had a lot of fun.  Hibachi can be a very stuffing experience and I look forward to our yearly trek there for Mom's birthday.



Today was Father's day and I got to spend some time with Dad.  It was a beautiful day weather wise and we got to go on some errands this morning.  Dad wasn't too happy upon hearing about the picture I took when he was sitting on the outdoor patio while we were at the store.  Only for the fact that he didn't know I snapped it.  Bazinga, Dad, Bazinga.  He laughed when I went to give him his card because I lost the damn envelope, but he used Chris's card as he was dying laughing at my huge blunder.

I am glad I got to spend quality time with the people whom are always there for me regardless of what I do.  My family.  Dad, Chris, Mom and I had some really good laughs, especially at dinner on Friday.  I don't say it often to them, which is a downfall of mine, but I really do love them.  I am proud to call them my family every single day because they are such amazing people.  They change the world every day without even realizing they do.  Guys, I love you.  Thank you so much for always standing by my side even when I am at my worse.  You take my good and bad sides, even when I don't seem to deserve the  love you so openly give it.  Love you.  So happy to be stuck with you for the rest of my life.

Even When You're Sleeping....Keep Your Eyes Open

Compliments get me every time.  I'm not good with receiving them because I never expect them.  But I guess that's what compliments do, they sweep you off your feet to make you feel special for that moment, or night, or day.  And I may not be the only one who is bad with receiving compliments, but when I do get them, and they are from good people, it honestly makes my whole day.

These past two days, random people have made my day and I don't even know if they realize they have done this.  And I'm not talking my family and friends because they really do rock.  But acquaintances, co-workers, customers.  And I feel this warmth in my stomach and a smile on my face for most of the day.

One of our regular customers came in today and told someone who was being helped by Holly that I was the best.  And he said it yesterday too when he came in.  He's the one who always makes it a point to come over and say hi to me and ask how I am doing.  And part of me knows he really do care.

Tonight, I was on this website for work and one of my coworkers praised me.  I didn't really think people notice my smile, or how I try to stay positive.  But here she was (and she is one of the nicest girls I have ever met) basically telling the company that she doesn't know how I do it.  Really?  I mean how can that not put a huge smile on my face.

To hear people want to say hi to me when I'm on my break, or make a solid effort to do things in appreciation of something I have no trouble doing?  Jeez, it truly makes a girl feel special.  I mean a lady brought me (well the pharmacy, but she made sure I was working too) cookies today.

I've felt spoiled.  And it comes at a time when I was feeling a little down.  So to get these compliments from people who may not be total strangers, but people who don't really know me all that much, it really makes my heart swell.  It means I'm doing something right in making others feel important.  Truth be told, I love seeing other people smile, to see that twinkle eye when they know someone cares.

Compliments....they really do go a long way with making this girl feel like she's a star.

Let's Set the World on Fire....

This is my wonderful brother and I.  It's from a few summers ago, when we traveled to the Jersey shore for a family trip.  And during this wonderful photo shoot, I tried to force my brother into taking a picture with me.


Tomorrow, my "little" brother graduates from University of Rhode Island.  To say that I'm proud is a complete understatement.  I have told EVERYONE at work that he's graduating this weekend and how proud I am of him.  I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing me talk about this.


I've always admired Chris because he has lived his life to the fullest.  Seriously, during high school he was Homecoming King and a three sport althete.  For the least coordinated person in the world, I was always his biggest fan.  College, he has made a nice group of friends up there in that tiny state.  And while he parties a lot, he has learned how to buckle down to get that studying done.


I have watched Christopher grow up into a wonderful young man.  He and I used to fight like cats and dogs, but now?  We stick up for each other and make sure that nobody, and I mean nobody, hurts the other.  My little brother has gotten so many compliments about how well he's raised and I couldn't agree more.  He really is a special human being.


And tomorrow, he's closing one chapter of his life, and going to make some amazing changes in this world.  I get choked up whenever I think about how he is going to embrace the real world and just rock it completely.  I already know I'm going to cry tomorrow because I am so proud of him.  And I don't tell him that often, but I really am so proud to be his big sister and see him become the young man he is today.  Tomorrow, I will be the one clapping the loudest, with the biggest smile on my face, because my little brother is going to do some amazing things in this world.  Just you watch.

Throwback Thursday: Ocean Avenue

Today, as I was taking a nice little walk, my IPod shuffled to "Ocean Avenue".  Now for those of you who don't know this song or even this album, I guess you weren't a huge fan of music back in the early 2000's.  

This song reminds me of high school and the idea of summer.  I mean, the title of the album is Ocean Avenue, how can one not think of the beach and spending the time at the beach with your friends.

I love everything about this song, minus the music video.  I love the lyrics.  I love the whole CD. I love how it brings me back to singing this in a car with my friends (mostly Meggie) in the car.  I love how even to this day, I still will sing this song out loud whenever I hear it.  

Tonight, I was discussing the song with Shannon and Meghan before trivia.  And Shannon completely agreed that this was THE song of high school.  Now I know that there were other songs we fell in love with in high school because in high school you think everything means so much.  But the thing is, if you ever hear this song if you are in your mid 20's, you immediately think of high school.  For me, it's a wonderful memory.

I discussed this with Tom and his friend Adam back on my birthday, this whole album was a non skip album.  You could listen to every single song of this CD and not skip ahead because a song was bad.  Shannon agreed tonight.  Take the time to go back to your high school days, or wherever you were six-ish years ago.  And it will honestly make you smile.  Where you want to turn up the whole CD and just jam to it the whole afternoon.

Throwback Thursday: Konstantine

Music runs my life.  And I don't mean that in the way that most people talk about their love for music.  No, I mean I get lost without music playing in the background of my daily life.  I always have a song playing in my head, or have a song that can perfectly describe any moment from my life.  I look to music to better describe my feelings and trust me, as of recently, a lot of songs are PERFECT for how life is going recently.

Anyway, I was listening to mix CD's I made back in high school and the early college days before I got an Ipod.  And I found a song that I realized was probably my favorite song of all time.  Something Corporate's "Konstantine".  I don't know why it is my favorite song, because to be honest, it can be kinda depressing.  But who doesn't love just the piano and Andrew's voice.  It's magical. 

Honestly, I think part of the reason I'm in love with this song is because it's about love that can't get it right.  It's about a person who is scared of the world that she dreamed while growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be and ending up being alone instead of having that person to be with.  Mind you, this is my interpretation of the song.  Maybe I really like it because I'm afraid the dreams I had when I was younger are not my dreams now.  Don't get me wrong, I love life.  But when I was six I thought I was going to be in a completely different space in my life.

So this post is for everyone who wants to hear a beautiful song....even if it's nine minutes long.  It's for all the people who like to make wishes at 11:11.  It's for the people who still have those dreams, even if they had changed.  It's for the people who have been in love when the days lasted forever.  I hope you enjoy.