Best Friends Make the World Go Round.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This weekend, my very best friend is getting married.  And I could not be more excited for her.

I have known Stacey since I started school.  I remember sitting next to her in the circle, maybe because we were sitting in alphabetical order. I introduced myself, and was quickly told that I couldn't be her best friend, because a girl named Amanda knew her longer.

And all these years later, we are all still friends.  

Stacey is my sister in all sense of the word.  We have complained about countless guys, and I'm sure there have been tears.  There have been countless nights out which has started to include alcohol as we grew up.  The most special part of our sisterhood is that no matter how much time passes that Stacey and I don't talk to each other, we pick up right where we left off; chatting away like two little girls from all those years ago.

I remember the day that Stacey brought Brett over to meet everyone.  We were having a party, and Stace was so nervous to introduce Brett to my Dad because she was introducing him to her other father.  And my dad.....God he loved Stacey.  He was so happy that she was getting married.  He couldn't wait to make the journey to New Jersey to watch his other daughter get married. 

I can't wait to see my very best friend, and sister get married this weekend.  I am so honored to watch Stacey marry her best friend and be part of her very special day. 

To Stacey, who I know is one of my number one readers:  I know you are going to make the most beautiful bride.  My dad is going to be right there, watching you with a huge smile on his face.  I love you tons.

Last week, my dad and I would spend the day visiting Mom in the hospital.  The day would go like this.  Dad and I would get to the hospital while Christopher went to work.  We would spend some time with Mom before she ended up having food/fall asleep/have physical therapy.  Dad and I would take this time to go to the cafe to get lunch for ourselves.  Last Friday, we got to have Sugar cupcake from the cupcake truck.  I was such a happy little camper that day.

After lunch, we would head back to Mom and sit around talking or watching TV.  Sometimes she fell asleep, and often wake from her cat naps apologizing for falling asleep and "boring" us.  I played Candy Crush for a good amount of the visits, even getting Dad to try his hand at the game.  Eventually, Dad and I would leave the hospital with promises to come back.

We would go home where I would nap and wait for us to have some dinner.  After dinner, Chris, Dad and I would head back to the hospital to spend some more time with Mom.  We would hear what happened throughout the day while we were gone, and she would often catch Chris up on what he missed out on. We would giggle sometimes about stories being told multiple times, but we would spend quality family time.

This week Mom has been home.  She is walking with a cane now and when I saw her go outside today, it almost brought tears to my eyes.  I am beyond proud of how far she has come in just one week, and can only imagine the accomplishments she will be achieving every day from now on.

We sit in the family room cause Mom can't go up and down the stairs quite yet and we watch the sun go down every night.  Or at least I do.  And we chat about the day and enjoy the wonderful dinner that my dad makes for us every night.  

I've grown to love family time.  Does it make me a nerd for being completely okay with spending time with my family,cracking jokes and often giggling to a point I can't breathe?

I didn't think so either.

Tomorrow I'm going to an engagement party.  I personally can not believe I have come to the time of my life where I will be attending engagement parties and bridal showers.  Where I will be having to buy wedding presents and pretty dresses instead of what will survive a crazy college party.

When I dress up in my cute dresses, I almost feel like I'm playing pretend.  The "formal" night on the cruise made me feel as if I'm a child in an adult body never understanding the proper way to act because she hasn't grown up completely.  But I like this whole trying to become an adult thing.  Part of me feels as if I will start to get the hang out this growing up thing, eventually.

I know that the child in my will always be there though.  Just check out the picture in the post below where I'm dressed up in a beautiful dress but making faces along the way.  I'm totally fine with that.

I Keep Gushing

Ever read something and just smile because someone absolutely NAILED every emotion you felt?  Cause that definitely happened just now.

I have never been that girl, but I know how it feels to feel broken.  I know how it is to share yourself completely with another, only to be left broken and hurting at the end of the day.

So once again everyone, enjoy one of the most inspiring people of my generation.  Seriously, taking on matters of the heart one day at a time.

Last year, when we lost Madison, I got another Madison in the form of a stuffed fox.  A fox meant a lot to me at the time, and having the package waiting on my bed took the sting of losing one of my favorites from my life.  

Now, we are losing Mandy, and I can not handle this loss as well.  Mandy has always been the quiet of the two sisters.  She barely barked while Madison was alive and now she barks a lot, especially when she gets excited about eating dinner.  But while she has regained a youthfulness, she has been declining a lot these past few weeks.  She can't make it up the stairs without being coaxed. Mom and Dad think she's blind in her eyes which I don't necessarily see.  And it's heartbreaking to watch.

I don't have a stuffed animal to hold onto this time around and I'm rather nervous about Mandy.  We will have such a quiet house when Mandy isn't around anymore.  

I don't know why I'm writing about Mandy.  I think I'm more sad then anything that she isn't feeling well and that she's lonely without Madison.

I just really don't like this growing up thing....

Happy July 4th Everyone!

I love America.  I love this movie.  

What better way to say Happy Birthday America (Yes, I'm early, so sue me) then sharing this wonderful 4th of July scene from the classic movie The Sandlot.

And yes, it's a classic that EVERYONE, coughShannoncough, should see.

In That Moment, We Were Infinite

After watching the trailer for The Perks of Being a Wallflower last night, I decided to write a post about it.  Which includes my love for this book that I read a few weeks ago.

I'm sad I didn't read this back in high school, however, I am happy to get this off my bucket list.  Plus, I plan on keeping this sucker for all of my moves in the future.  This book is truly a keeper in my eyes.  It has described the struggles that every person goes through in high school but it's not just centered in high school. 

I think every person can relate to Charlie's feeling of loneliness even when he's with his friends.  I know I have felt that, even as soon as this year.  He is a young kid who has never had people really care for him unless they are family.  Do you remember that first group of friends that you had where you had to learn the dynamics of caring about someone?  And being so afraid that they don't really care for you because there is no way that a person you care for so much can want to be your friend?  Well, Charlie describes this in such a mature yet innocent way that makes you want to constantly turn the page.

I'm hoping the movie will be amazing, and from what I have seen of the trailer, I expect nothing but the best.  One of my favorite quotes came from this book.  "We accept the love we think we deserve."  I don't know why I love this, maybe it's because I have always struggled with the thought and idea of love.  But seriously?  And my friends and family shower me constantly with the love I never thought I would have ever.

I really do recommend you reading this book though.  I have read online constantly how this book is a must read for many people.  And after finishing it, I completely agree.

Let's Set the World on Fire....

This is my wonderful brother and I.  It's from a few summers ago, when we traveled to the Jersey shore for a family trip.  And during this wonderful photo shoot, I tried to force my brother into taking a picture with me.


Tomorrow, my "little" brother graduates from University of Rhode Island.  To say that I'm proud is a complete understatement.  I have told EVERYONE at work that he's graduating this weekend and how proud I am of him.  I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing me talk about this.


I've always admired Chris because he has lived his life to the fullest.  Seriously, during high school he was Homecoming King and a three sport althete.  For the least coordinated person in the world, I was always his biggest fan.  College, he has made a nice group of friends up there in that tiny state.  And while he parties a lot, he has learned how to buckle down to get that studying done.


I have watched Christopher grow up into a wonderful young man.  He and I used to fight like cats and dogs, but now?  We stick up for each other and make sure that nobody, and I mean nobody, hurts the other.  My little brother has gotten so many compliments about how well he's raised and I couldn't agree more.  He really is a special human being.


And tomorrow, he's closing one chapter of his life, and going to make some amazing changes in this world.  I get choked up whenever I think about how he is going to embrace the real world and just rock it completely.  I already know I'm going to cry tomorrow because I am so proud of him.  And I don't tell him that often, but I really am so proud to be his big sister and see him become the young man he is today.  Tomorrow, I will be the one clapping the loudest, with the biggest smile on my face, because my little brother is going to do some amazing things in this world.  Just you watch.

And in Other News....

For the past two Thursdays, my friends and I have gone down to the bar at the local hotel to do trivia.  Not many people attend, or even participate, but it's still a fun time and we get to test our knowledge.  Yes, we are secret geeks and I'm okay with that.

Well, yesterday there were three teams playing which does in fact include our team.  We knew one of the other teams, but the third was a random customer at the bar.  No big deal right?  Wrong.  

The jerk on the team we didn't know was a HUGE tool.  Like screaming across the bar that we were cheating and using cell phones.  Oh, I'm sorry that we just are good guessers or know what we are doing.  Or that we have people who want to TEXT us when we are at trivia.  Our bad.

The first time he did it, we just laughed it off and ignored it.  The second time, it pissed me off because he went on a little longer with his rant.  So what did I do?  I started screaming back.  Yes, I, Jennifer, started to scream across the bar that he needed to calm down the the accusations of cheating because we DID NOT get the question he was bitching about right.  

I was proud of myself that I stood up for the dignity of my friends and I.  But also, I did something I never in a thousand years imagined I would.  I yelled at some random guy across the bar for being a HUGE tool bag.  Surprisingly, the possibility of a bar fight was thrilling and I wish he would have continued with me but he didn't.  He did end up trying to push my answers away, but turns out he dropped out of the contest anyway.  And we ended up second out of second. Gooooooo us!!!

For those who are closest to me, my desire for a tattoo has been discussed many times, with no date set for a variety of reasons.  Blood thinners, lack of funds, lack of guts.

I've made a decision though.  While the holiday season tends to take a lot of money outta a person, I plan on putting some money aside.

And I've decided, with the help of someone actually making the date because I don't think I'm going to be that brave, the date.

What would be more perfect then the year anniversary I had to go to the hospital because of Henry?

So there it is.  December 27th if I don't have the tattoo on my hip, I'm going to be extremely upset with myself

Stay Relentless

About a year ago, I heard about this guy who was in the grade below me having cancer.  I had a few classes with him through out my high school experience, and he was always such a nice kid, with a huge smile on his face.  He got along with everyone it seemed and I did not know one person who had anything bad to say about him.

Today I woke up to find on Facebook that this wonderful guy died.  Instead of wallowing in this awful disease that has claimed so many people's lives, he started a non profit and tried to turn this into something so positive.  His determination is such an inspiration to all that knew him, and even those who have heard his story through friends.

It's moments like this that make me feel so small in this world.  Here is this great guy who was doing such amazing things to fight cancer and he was taken from this life.  Your positivity and inspiration to those around you will continue your message and legacy for many years to come.  You told people to stay relentless against cancer.  Don't worry, everyone is going to be a little more relentless to keep fighting your battle.

Rest in peace.

I Wish Nothing But the Best For You

Growing older is a funny thing.  When I was younger, I only worried about myself.  My own pain.  My own happiness.  My own fun.  I was the center of the universe and everyone should be at my beck and call to make me happy.

As I got older, I realized that I had to start depending on myself and not expect others to worry about how to entertain me whenever I need them to.  But it's not only that.  I realized how much I worry about other people and how other's happiness affects my own.

This year has been a great learning experience for me.  While I was wallowing, I was also worried about how my terrible mood was affecting my family, even though it may not have seemed like it at the time.  I held a lot in during this whole thing because I didn't want to worry my family.  Hence, my hospitalization in April.  But not only that, I didn't want them to worry about me when I was stuck home and they had to go to work.

Same goes for my friends.  I didn't want to ruin their breaks or weekends with my sob stories about how I couldn't move or how painful the freaking clot was.  I never asked for anyone to come over because I didn't want them to be pulled down due to my misfortune.  

At 24 I realized that I am not the center of the universe, and that when other people, my friends, my family and even extended circle is hurt, it makes me really upset.  My mood is affected by those who I care about.  My "inner" circle?  I never want them to be in pain.  I always want them to be happy and with smiles on their faces.

And let me tell you, I understand how difficult it was for my parents this year to see me with the clot and the stomach thing.  Because no matter what, they wanted to see me smile.  And now all I want is to make those around me smile as well.