Life Lessons at 27

I've wanted to do a birthday post similar to last year's wonderful little post about life lessons I have learned now that I have recently turned 27.  (Yes it's a delayed post but work has been super busy and I think I have had a cold for most of said week.)

1.  Never, ever be afraid to tell the people who mean the most to you how important they are to you.  Unfortunately nothing in this life is guaranteed and I think one of the most important things is to remember we need to embrace those who we love and remind them every day.

2. A night of sitting on the floor, drinking and eating and gossiping with your friends is sometimes all a girl needs to let life worries disappear.

3.  Live for the experiences.  I have realized that I want to do everything.  I want to go to all the concerts.  I want to go to restaurants.  I want to go experience all the joys in life with my friends and no price tag (okay some price tags) will stop me.

4.  There is nothing more beautiful then watching your childhood best friend get married to the love of her life.  This includes watching your second dad cry when he walks into the hotel room and tears up when he sees her for the first time.  Or knowing that a special angel is smiling down on that girl he always thought of as his daughter as she became a Miller.

5.  People surprise you.  With a note, text message, visits, and hugs.  Kind words heal the soul and I don't if I could have survived 26 without the countless well wishes that many people in my life have sent me.

6. Yes, you can enjoy a beer from Luke Bryan's concert because of connections your friend has.

7.  Fresh flowers can liven up any room.

8.  It's a compliment when older gentlemen tell you there is not many people like you in the world.  For some reason I appreciate compliments from the older generation because they can tell what's really real.

9. NOTHING is better then a great outfit.  When you feel amazing, you feel invincible.

10.  Surround yourself with positive people.  People who will push you to be the best person you can be.  People who will support you.  People who will love you no matter what you have done, or no matter how much time has past since you have talked to them.  The people who love you regardless and want to see only the best for you.  Negativity takes it's toll on a person and if there is one thing I have learned, life is too short to let that affect you.

11.  Buzzfeed articles make the world go round.

12.  Jennifer Lawerence is a brilliant actress and a role model of our time.  Rarely do you hear her talking about a diet or exercising.  Instead you hear her talk about beers and eating and I really think she would fit right in with my friends.

13.  I was never one who disliked the number 13 or expected bad things on Friday the 13th.  I have since become a girl who can not stand that number and dread the day every month.

14. Inspirational quotes can make a tough day a little easier.  Do not judge anyone who may post many of them because you never know what they are going through.

15.  My father was one of the best people in my life.  The guy who would see me upset and give me a hug or try to crack some joke to get me to smile.  This world lost some of it's sparkle on May 13 2013 and I have been forever changed.  I'm a firm believer that my dad made sure to surround me with people who love me and try to get me to laugh even during the darkest days.  There has not been a day that has gone by where I don't miss my dad, but I hope he's with me every step of this crazy life and that he's proud of his little girl.

Happy belated birthday to me and hope everyone has a safe Superbowl Sunday.

Life Lessons at 26

Two years ago; a snapshot of a wonderful accomplishment

Since today is my 26th birthday, I decided that I should write some lessons that life has taught me.  Enjoy.

1. Nothing is better then receiving a hand written letter in the mailbox from a friend.  I not only love sending them, but getting them makes my whole day.

2. You can judge how good a restaurant is by their nachos.  If you don't agree with me, then you obviously have never tested this.

3.  Hospital visits can be stressful, but it's always important to try and be kind to those who are taking care of you.  Health care providers aren't going to be so nice to you if you are being an asshole.

4. Capture as many of life moments with a camera.  Being able to look back on all those amazing memories is something I truly love more then words.

5. Travel.  I have been to many states throughout the country and it's been such a wonderful experience every where I have gone.  The getting their part may be hectic (hello getting stuck in airports...) but the fun times I have had during those trips are priceless.

6.  On-line shopping is one of the greatest inventions of all time, but it can also be the devil.  There have been so many times that I have bought new clothes without having to deal with rude people at malls or stores.

7. Music makes my world go round and song lyrics can truly speak to the soul.  If you don't believe that a great song can change your whole mood, then you haven't been exposed to great music.

8.  Enjoy food.  If my stomach problems have taught me anything, it's always enjoy every aspect of a meal.  Even though I know I may be in pain a hour after eating my meal, if it's a good dish, then I will enjoy it. No matter what.

9.  It's completely okay to spend the day in sweat pants, snuggled with blankets, on the couch reading a good book.  I do this on a regular basis and I'm totally okay with being a bum.

10.  I'm also okay with reading my favorite books on a regular basis.  If I absolutely love a book, then I'm excited to go back and see my favorite characters.  In fact, 90% of the books on my book case I have read more then once, and I'm not ashamed of that.

11.  Life seems to be better in the summer time, as well as by the beach.  I think the warm weather wards off the bad energy that winter sometimes provides.  Case in point, I have never had stomach problems during the summer.  And whenever I'm over thinking a problem, if I go to the beach, then I feel completely renewed.

12.  Life will set you up with many obstacles, including many different medical problems.  As long as you try to keep your head up, and surround yourself with a good support system, then you will be able to overcome anything.  Also, even if you think you can't give blood, it's possible.  It's also possible for the girl who used to cry during any sort of shot can look at blood being taken and also give herself her own shots.

13.  It's also possible that as you grow up, you also become more emotional.  It's also possible that those emotions come out more often when you don't feel well.  Also possible to want to cry at the drop of the hat whenever someone is nice to you.  It's fine to be emotional.  Embrace it.

14. Singing on the top of your lungs to your favorite song is acceptable.  While dancing around your room, and having the music blaring.  This dancing/singing combination will let your worries slide away from you.  Dare you to try it.

15. Never be afraid to tell people how much you care about them.  Give them hugs.  High fives when they achieve something good.  Smile at strangers who did something nice to you. Say I love you.  People want to be cared about.  And smiles and hugs can change the world.

These life lessons may be general ideas to some people, or not very profound, but the fact remains they are a few of the things I truly believe in.  I always knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life, but you really know how many people are in your corner when some obstacles come your way.  I want to thank everyone who reads this, who has believed in me, who has given me a hug or words of encouragement, not only in the past 2 years but especially the past 26 years of my life. It means more to me then I think you will ever understand to have you all in my corner.

Happy birthday to me! Here's to many more to come.

Time Flies....

Here's a fun fact for you all.

It has been a year since I returned home from my week long "vacation" at Yale New Haven.

I knew the anniversary was coming up, but I didn't know exact dates.  I went back in this blog and saw I went home on the 21st.  Which means that yesterday was the wonderful day that I gained my freedom back.

A lot has changed since I went into the hospital that early early Monday morning.  For starters, I know exactly what I have and why my stomach had been acting up.  I'm still the stubborn girl who got pissed off she had to stay at the hospital, but I'm trying not to close up when things don't go my way (my parents may disagree how well I'm doing on this one....).  While I had all these hopes when I got out that I would be magically cured, I know now that a cure isn't possible and that I may have flair ups the rest of my life, but with rest and guidance from my doctor, I can get through it.

I learned other things.  That I'm stronger then I was when I first went into the hospital, and even when I first got out.  Also, I'm more open to what is going on with my health which was not the case before going in.  I hid how bad it really was, because I had written it away that the problem would go away without doctor's help.  Now, I tell my parents everything, even when I have random bruising on my legs (which is really annoying by the way but I'm hoping the summer will make it not as noticeable).

I can remember how weak I felt when I got out that Friday afternoon, but how extremely excited I was to be out, to have McDonalds, to go in and see people from work.  I remember being excited to go to a Bluefish game, and to the Seas after the game, making jokes with Blair about the world ending and him using that as a pick up line.  I remember how the world just felt so new because I had spent the week, hooked up to various machines, in a bed, not able to do anything on my own.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to that excitement of a brand new world and other times I realize I wouldn't want to.  I enjoy my life.  While there are tears, they have been mostly of joy as of late which a year ago they were mostly of frustration and sadness. And my world is exciting, just not in the getting out of the hospital and things are going back to normal kind of way....

Dr. I....It's Almost Our Year Anniversary

After the first visit hesitation, I have looked forward to my visits with Dr. I immensely.  He is such a genuine guy, never making me feel as if I am one of his many patients.  I always feel like I am number one when it comes to him.  I think part of the reason why I feel like that is because he came to visit every day when I was in the hospital.  The new pharmacist asked if that was due to the fact that he had to, but I said absolutely not, he came to ease my mind.  At least that's how I saw it.

Why am I talking so much about Dr. I you may ask?  It's because I had an appointment with him yesterday.

Yesterday was the first doctor's appointment I had in months.  Seriously, I had not had to step in a doctor's office since May/June and I could not be happier about the fact that it is months between appointments for me.  I guess Irene is thanks to that, but I still feel like it's a huge relief that I don't have to see a doctor every month like I had been.

Anyway, we discussed my progress per usual, but we also discussed taking me down my steroids once again.  Now we are going below the dosage I was on before going to the hospital which is exciting because I have no had any flair indications at all.  So small victory on that part.  He did say that when I see him next, which is in a few months, I should be off the steroids!!! This will be around the year anniversary of these whole shenanigans starting so I could not be happier with the idea that another one of my medications will be discontinued when the year anniversary occurs.


Anyway, I also learned my weight with this appointment and while it's completely fine with my height, I'm still not fully okay with it and will begin running on Monday to become more in shape.  Please don't roll your eyes.  Being in shape and being skinny are two completely different things and I need to start running in order to not only sort things out in my life in my head, but also to feel better about myself.


Dr. I and I also discussed what happens during flare ups.  Those damn things scare the hell out of me if I'm going to be completely honest.  Last flare up I ended up in the hospital, and a friend was recently hospitalized when she experienced a flare up.  I just do not want to end up in the hospital again.  That was not a fun experience at all.  He told me how a flare up would work in my situation and if I am understanding him correctly, it shouldn't occur if I stay on top of my medicine.  This is not to say that the medicine will eventually stop working.  I had to take blood work immediately following the appointment to check various levels, one being my liver level.  He said that it had been slightly elevated which was not caused for concern but he wanted to keep an eye on it which is why he asked for the blood work right after the appointment.


If I'm going to be completely honest here, I'm completely terrified.  I'm terrified that I will end up in the hospital again for a week, or even longer, without many people who will want to visit me.  I'm afraid I am going to eventually have to give up my favorite food because it causes a flare up.  I'm afraid that at the age of 24 I am already taking 10 different pills if I don't count the steroids which I will be off of hopefully by the end of the year.  And I'm afraid that this stupid disease is going to control my whole life.  I have had to worry about my pills whenever I go anywhere.  I have had to worry about the nearest bathroom and stomach pains whenever I go out.  I'm not a fan.  How do you explain this thing to someone who has no experience with it.  Luckily I have friends who also have it so our group has become understanding about it, but still.  How do I even begin to explain this to people who come into my life in the future?  This damn thing has been a pain for close to a year now, and I have tried to hide my worries from everyone.  But what I would not give to be normal again.  With a normal stomach that I no longer have to worry about medicine, and blood and enzyme levels.

Seven Months Later....

There is a sense of irony that I would finish my Warfarin about seven months after I was rushed to the hospital for not being able to walk, and subsequently discovering I had a blood clot which I later named Henry.

Today marks the day I had been wishing for since starting my Warfarin.  The last day I have to take it.  Today is the last day I am able to take a full dosage and thus means I am done after today's 15 mg dose.  

To say I am relieved is the understatement of the year.

I have had to deal with Henry now for seven months.  Those are seven very long months.  From crawling on my ass to get to the bathroom before we knew what it was, to graduating to crawling down the stairs when I needed to go to doctor's appointments, trying to laugh as I rang in the new year in a wheel chair, returning to work, having to deal with swelling if I was on it for too long, the countless ultra sounds and blood works, to the moment when I was told Henry was gone, and the time I would eventually go a day without thinking about the blood clot.  It's been a long journey for my family, friends and I.

While the journey continues with us discovering why I got Henry in the first place, today marks the first day of the new year that I can say I'm officially off one of my medicines that I started that day in December.  To not have to worry about taking those 2.5-3 tablets every night is going to be a serious highlight of July.

I wish I could say I'm done with blood work, but that's not even close with the other medicines I'm taking.  Small steps though right?

I really do want to thank everyone who has helped me throughout this journey of mine, especially when I was down and your kind words brought me back up.  I don't know what I would have done without my mom, dad and Chris, who were a constant support from those first few hours.  Mom, I still remember laughing to the point of tears when I had to scoot to the bathroom, before we knew the severity of the whole situation.  Your tears may have been from laughter, mine was a combination of laughter and pain now that I think about it.

Don't worry folks, I promise to keep updating this thing.  It's a form of escape for me, and while I have been failing at updating recently, I have some things I need to work out in forms of entries in here.  Even if nobody else reads this, at least I have something to show about this journey with Henry and the colitis.  Goodness, I sound like a 90 year old and not someone who is 24 years old.