Thank You

This year I have been truly blessed.

Yes, this is an odd statement coming from me especially after 2013.

Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about all the people who have been there for me during those dark days.  And those people who do everything in their power to make me laugh or smile.  The people who make me feel light again.

I have to believe my wonderful angel has placed certain people in my life.  The people who have pulled me out of my shell when all I wanted to do is hide.  The people who tell me what a beautiful soul I have.  The people who have cared for me even with a simple hello or smile or a heart text message because they woke up in the middle of the night thinking of me.

It's hard to believe that most of the people who I'm close with today were barely in my life last year.  These people I consider family, who I know will be there for so many years to come.  I'm so grateful for these friends, who continue to deal with my tears, and sadness, but also my complete joy and happiness when I'm around them.  I'm grateful for the people who continue to support me even after those scary, early dark days.

I can not put into words how grateful I am for all the loving support I have received over this past year.  I always knew I was blessed from the support I had throughout my many hospital stays, but the overwhelming love that we have gotten has been unreal.

To the friends and family who read this:  Thank you so much for the love you have sent me throughout this difficult journey.  For the cards and the letters and the well wishes.  Thank you for the countless hugs, for the dance parties when I didn't want to feel all the feelings.  For the patience with dealing with me especially on the days that I become way too quiet or was feeling really down.  The patience to hearing more stories about my dad then more people could tolerate.  Essentially thank you for being you, and for helping me along this weird long little journey that I ahve started down.

 

America the Beautiful.

I was sitting in an art class when the principal got on the intercom to tell us that two planes had hit the twin towers.  


I didn't realize how these attacks would change my whole world.  I didn't realize that my "family" would lose such a dear loved one whom they would remember at dances throughout the past twelve years.  I didn't realize the huge impact these attacks would be to our whole lives.

I don't want this whole post to be about those vicious attacks, but rather a celebration of those wonderful souls who were lost on that September day.  To the innocent souls of those people on the planes, in those buildings and all those amazing first responders.

Twelve years ago yesterday, we witnessed one of the most horrific acts against our country in recent history.  We also witnessed the best in our society, how our country came together to support those who went through such extreme loss and tried to restore a beautiful city.

To all the people who lost a loved one twelve years ago yesterday, I want to envelop every one of you in a hug.  And to those souls who were lost that day, rest peacefully; you are American heroes.

I love this Flag of Honor which was featured at the Michael Miller dance in 2011 with all the victims names on it.  What a beautiful tribute.

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning....

Yesterday was an important day in America's history, but also for some of my dearest people in my life. September 11th 2001 changed the world that we live in completely.  It showed Americans that even in during one of the biggest tragedies that ever happened to our country, we can come together as a group of people, and help each other mourn and grow and stand tall and heal with one another.

Thousands of lives were lost on that day, caused by an act of hate.  Millions of people were affected, from those who lost family or friends in those towers, or on those planes.  To the men and women who went to defend our nation during a time of crisis in our military.  To those military families who have supported our troops every day that they are away.

There is a man from Milford who had the biggest smile in the world.  His name is Michael and he is cherished by some of the people that I love the most in my life.  Michael worked in one of the towers on that fateful day and it's my understanding that our world lost such a bright star.

Yesterday, when I was at the memorial service in West Haven, I couldn't help but think of my friends who lost Michael 11 years ago.  Michael is a man whose legacy lives on every time a story is told by Kate or Emily or Brad.  Every time we see a lady bug outside.  I got emotional yesterday listening to the speeches and remembering how my friends hurt every day because they miss Michael so much.

And I grew extremely proud of my country.  For a country that pulled together in the darkest time and built itself back up.  For a country that showed that we were stronger then even we expected.  I cried watching that flag go up, and hearing songs for America. Because we are America. Home of the brave.

Time Flies....

Here's a fun fact for you all.

It has been a year since I returned home from my week long "vacation" at Yale New Haven.

I knew the anniversary was coming up, but I didn't know exact dates.  I went back in this blog and saw I went home on the 21st.  Which means that yesterday was the wonderful day that I gained my freedom back.

A lot has changed since I went into the hospital that early early Monday morning.  For starters, I know exactly what I have and why my stomach had been acting up.  I'm still the stubborn girl who got pissed off she had to stay at the hospital, but I'm trying not to close up when things don't go my way (my parents may disagree how well I'm doing on this one....).  While I had all these hopes when I got out that I would be magically cured, I know now that a cure isn't possible and that I may have flair ups the rest of my life, but with rest and guidance from my doctor, I can get through it.

I learned other things.  That I'm stronger then I was when I first went into the hospital, and even when I first got out.  Also, I'm more open to what is going on with my health which was not the case before going in.  I hid how bad it really was, because I had written it away that the problem would go away without doctor's help.  Now, I tell my parents everything, even when I have random bruising on my legs (which is really annoying by the way but I'm hoping the summer will make it not as noticeable).

I can remember how weak I felt when I got out that Friday afternoon, but how extremely excited I was to be out, to have McDonalds, to go in and see people from work.  I remember being excited to go to a Bluefish game, and to the Seas after the game, making jokes with Blair about the world ending and him using that as a pick up line.  I remember how the world just felt so new because I had spent the week, hooked up to various machines, in a bed, not able to do anything on my own.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to that excitement of a brand new world and other times I realize I wouldn't want to.  I enjoy my life.  While there are tears, they have been mostly of joy as of late which a year ago they were mostly of frustration and sadness. And my world is exciting, just not in the getting out of the hospital and things are going back to normal kind of way....