Happy Monday Ya'll

Gotta love a doctor offices.

We got there probably 10 minutes early, not for any particular reason just to make sure we were on time.  The office was a little crowded, but it's a Monday morning so it's to be expected.

As the room continued to crowd with new arrivals, I started to get nervous that there wasn't going to be enough chairs, and if that became the case, I would have probably offered up my chair.

Anyway, they began calling people in for their appointments.  Bam. Bam. Bam. Names were being thrown left and right.  Eventually, my name was called, and I went in to see the doctor, who I think just really loves life.  He really seems to embrace everything good with life.

Anyway, the actual time I saw the doctor didn't last long.  To say it was 10 minutes long would be pushing it.  He asked me how the pain level was, asked what type of medication I was on.  He asked if I saw the blood doctor yet, then told me he couldn't really do anything until the blood doctor does his tests.  Thank you so much for wasting my Monday morning with an appointment I didn't even need.

I did ask about my freakish bruising.  He said bruises do occur and I shouldn't be alarmed when I see bruises on myself.  He said as long as the bruises seem to be going down, then that's a good thing.  Personally, I think it's a good thing that my bruises/discoloration seems to be disappearing.  But that's just me.

Doctors, Doctors, Doctors.

Tomorrow is another doctor's appointment where we find out more about the blood clot.  This particular doctor always makes me smile when I see him because he walks in and gives me a kiss on the cheek.  The first time I saw him he asked me why I was there, especially considering my age.  The upside is this time I have never been truly knocked on my ass with Natasha and Boris.  The downside is that I have some weird bruising on the leg that Natasha and Boris are located.  When I asked my boss if that can be a side effect to the Warfarin, she said she didn't see it as one.  But then when I showed her the veins, she laughed and told me my legs look like they are old people veins.

Before anyone takes offense to my boss laughing at me, I started making jokes with her before I pulled up my pant leg to show her my shins/calves.  I have realized that if you start the joking, it takes the sting away from the reality that my veins really do look like an older woman's veins.

Sometime in the near future, I have an appointment with my rockstar stomach doctor.  I'm hoping to start reducing the steroids.  I have to start worrying about my bones when I'm on the steroids for any length of time, and I just want to stop worrying about things.  So I'd like to get this show on the road and stop tappering the medication now.

I also have to make an appointment with a new doctor.  It's the doctor who will hopefully tell me why I get these blood clots.  Or they will tell me if there is something with my blood that makes it clot easier.  But I'm hoping to get some answers when I go see that new doctor.

It's Time to Begin.

I really enjoy this song so I hope you all would give it a chance as you read this lovely little update.

I'm trying my best to get back to my ordinary life, but sometimes my stupid stomach and leg hold me back.  This weekend I was able to go out with my friends, some of my favorite people in the world.  Shannon and I got spent the whole weekend together along with Tom and his friends.  I have known those guys for a few years now and they always put a huge smile on my face just because they are guys guys who enjoy hanging out with one another, drinking beers and talking about sports.

This weekend was exactly what I needed to get my mind off the fact that my stomach is taking longer to get better then I expected.  Last time I ended up in the hospital with a flare, I was already back to eating regular food, especially with the amount of steroids I'm on.  And now I just feel like my stomach is taking five years to bounce back and I don't have the patience to wait for it to be better.

That's not to say I haven't been able to enjoy my food.  Unfortunately, sometimes, my stomach just hurts a lot after I eat.  Whatever, I make sure to enjoy eating and just deal with whatever pain may come after the fact.  I mean when one goes up to the casino, how does one simply ignore Margaritaville nachos.  Spoiler alert: They don't.

Today is a stay in bed type of day because my leg has been hurting me a little bit.  Natasha and Boris are mad at me from all the fun I have been having.  The leg hasn't swollen at all, but the pain which had all but disappeared is there a bit right now.  As I am typing, I have my legs elevating on a folded over pillow.  

Story of my life.  

And sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm Just the Same As I Was....

Confession time. 

I'm terrified that this blood clot, and flare up happened to me again.  I'm also terrified that I will get more blood clots whenever I have these stupid flare ups.

And being scared is not a way to live your life. 

It's funny.  I have put a huge smile on my face and cracked jokes about a name and those types of things.  But the truth is, I don't want people to feel sorry for me.  Ever see that look come across someone's face when something bad happens to you?  Imagine every single person giving you that look.  Most of the time, it's encouraging to know I have people that care about me that much to actually care.  But sometimes, it's a kick in the stomach.  Because I just want it all to go away.

I'm 25 years old and this is my second (or third if you want to count each one once) blood clot in two years.  It's my third trip to the hospital with the whole stomach thing.  And every time I'm growing tired of constantly trying to look on the bright side of this thing.  

I have been told by countless people that I am strong, which I am so freaking thankful for those words of encouragement.  Anytime I hear that, I get empowered to fight this thing a little longer. But I just want a few months, maybe even a full year, where I don't have to worry about what I'm eating, or going to the hospital, or stopping my daily life because my leg is in pain.

I have not been as concerned this go around and I have tried to keep positive the best I can.  I mean I'm able to go to work. I'm able to go out with my friends.  I'm able to eat some stuff.

But.....One year universe.....is that too much to ask? Please.

This is me feeling sorry for myself on a Friday morning.  Like really, I'm excited the weekend is upon us, and that I have a wonderful Halloween costume in my POWER color.  I mean how is a girl not supposed to feel beautiful in RED