My name is Jen and I'm a worrier.
Hiiiiiii Jen.
Considering the past year plus I have gone through, it's understandable that I worry about things in regards to my health. But I have always worried. I worry about my future and if I will find a job I love. I worry about my family. I worry about moving out of my house or eventually getting married. But most recently, I have been worrying about my health.
My stomach or insides have not been okay for the past two weeks. It's gotten to a point where I have to sometimes run out of work to get to a bathroom, even though nothing happens when I get in there. I have been drinking waters like it's my job but I still am so freaking thirsty. It all just does not make any sense, right? Right.
On top of that, I woke up a few days ago with a horrible Charlie horse in the Henry side of my leg. No big deal right? Well that Charlie horse hasn't gone away and I've been limping on it whenever I have been walking. At work I don't notice it because I have been so busy, but when I'm home and not doing anything, it hurts.
And I worry, that all of my health problems will never go away.
Showing posts with label Henry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Henry. Show all posts
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Monday, July 25, 2011
Seven Months Later....
There is a sense of irony that I would finish my Warfarin about seven months after I was rushed to the hospital for not being able to walk, and subsequently discovering I had a blood clot which I later named Henry.
Today marks the day I had been wishing for since starting my Warfarin. The last day I have to take it. Today is the last day I am able to take a full dosage and thus means I am done after today's 15 mg dose.
To say I am relieved is the understatement of the year.
I have had to deal with Henry now for seven months. Those are seven very long months. From crawling on my ass to get to the bathroom before we knew what it was, to graduating to crawling down the stairs when I needed to go to doctor's appointments, trying to laugh as I rang in the new year in a wheel chair, returning to work, having to deal with swelling if I was on it for too long, the countless ultra sounds and blood works, to the moment when I was told Henry was gone, and the time I would eventually go a day without thinking about the blood clot. It's been a long journey for my family, friends and I.
While the journey continues with us discovering why I got Henry in the first place, today marks the first day of the new year that I can say I'm officially off one of my medicines that I started that day in December. To not have to worry about taking those 2.5-3 tablets every night is going to be a serious highlight of July.
I wish I could say I'm done with blood work, but that's not even close with the other medicines I'm taking. Small steps though right?
I really do want to thank everyone who has helped me throughout this journey of mine, especially when I was down and your kind words brought me back up. I don't know what I would have done without my mom, dad and Chris, who were a constant support from those first few hours. Mom, I still remember laughing to the point of tears when I had to scoot to the bathroom, before we knew the severity of the whole situation. Your tears may have been from laughter, mine was a combination of laughter and pain now that I think about it.
Don't worry folks, I promise to keep updating this thing. It's a form of escape for me, and while I have been failing at updating recently, I have some things I need to work out in forms of entries in here. Even if nobody else reads this, at least I have something to show about this journey with Henry and the colitis. Goodness, I sound like a 90 year old and not someone who is 24 years old.
Today marks the day I had been wishing for since starting my Warfarin. The last day I have to take it. Today is the last day I am able to take a full dosage and thus means I am done after today's 15 mg dose.
To say I am relieved is the understatement of the year.
I have had to deal with Henry now for seven months. Those are seven very long months. From crawling on my ass to get to the bathroom before we knew what it was, to graduating to crawling down the stairs when I needed to go to doctor's appointments, trying to laugh as I rang in the new year in a wheel chair, returning to work, having to deal with swelling if I was on it for too long, the countless ultra sounds and blood works, to the moment when I was told Henry was gone, and the time I would eventually go a day without thinking about the blood clot. It's been a long journey for my family, friends and I.
While the journey continues with us discovering why I got Henry in the first place, today marks the first day of the new year that I can say I'm officially off one of my medicines that I started that day in December. To not have to worry about taking those 2.5-3 tablets every night is going to be a serious highlight of July.
I wish I could say I'm done with blood work, but that's not even close with the other medicines I'm taking. Small steps though right?
I really do want to thank everyone who has helped me throughout this journey of mine, especially when I was down and your kind words brought me back up. I don't know what I would have done without my mom, dad and Chris, who were a constant support from those first few hours. Mom, I still remember laughing to the point of tears when I had to scoot to the bathroom, before we knew the severity of the whole situation. Your tears may have been from laughter, mine was a combination of laughter and pain now that I think about it.
Don't worry folks, I promise to keep updating this thing. It's a form of escape for me, and while I have been failing at updating recently, I have some things I need to work out in forms of entries in here. Even if nobody else reads this, at least I have something to show about this journey with Henry and the colitis. Goodness, I sound like a 90 year old and not someone who is 24 years old.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hey Hey Hey Goodbye
As many of you know from either my facebook or an email from my mom, HENRY IS DISAPPEARING!!!
The doctor told me yesterday that the blood clot has gotten much smaller and it's almost gone. He wants me to continue with the Warfarin until after my trip to Washington in July. Originally he said I could be done with it in June, but when I mentioned the trip he said stay on it till after I got home. He said I didn't need to do blood work every week anymore but every two weeks.
And he also told me to just live my life. At this point in the appointment I started to cry. Huge surprise right? He told me to let it out and stressed the fact that I needed to live my life and not worry about Henry anymore, that stressing is not going to help anything.
I did tell him how difficult it was to deal with Dr. P telling me every week that my INR levels continue to decline and that it was somehow my fault. He proceeded to tell me that I do not need to worry about my INR levels, that they change throughout the day and that if it was between 1.5 and 2.5 then it was fine.
What's the most frustrating thing about the whole thing is getting two different stories from the different doctors. But I'm going to trust the experts. And that means I don't have to worry about Henry anymore, and I can even enjoy a glass of wine (his words not mine).
I cried once again outside and my dad told me I have to start to trust some doctors. I think he understands why I don't because it's been different stories for four months, but after four months I finally am told good news. That the freaking clot is almost gone! And it's finally sinking in that four months to the day I have finally reached the point I never thought I was going to.
So July be expecting a fiesta of epic proportions to celebrate, if that's okay with the parentals. But I need some celebrating the fact that Henry is GONEEE. And sorry to say this Henry, but I won't really miss you.
The doctor told me yesterday that the blood clot has gotten much smaller and it's almost gone. He wants me to continue with the Warfarin until after my trip to Washington in July. Originally he said I could be done with it in June, but when I mentioned the trip he said stay on it till after I got home. He said I didn't need to do blood work every week anymore but every two weeks.
And he also told me to just live my life. At this point in the appointment I started to cry. Huge surprise right? He told me to let it out and stressed the fact that I needed to live my life and not worry about Henry anymore, that stressing is not going to help anything.
I did tell him how difficult it was to deal with Dr. P telling me every week that my INR levels continue to decline and that it was somehow my fault. He proceeded to tell me that I do not need to worry about my INR levels, that they change throughout the day and that if it was between 1.5 and 2.5 then it was fine.
What's the most frustrating thing about the whole thing is getting two different stories from the different doctors. But I'm going to trust the experts. And that means I don't have to worry about Henry anymore, and I can even enjoy a glass of wine (his words not mine).
I cried once again outside and my dad told me I have to start to trust some doctors. I think he understands why I don't because it's been different stories for four months, but after four months I finally am told good news. That the freaking clot is almost gone! And it's finally sinking in that four months to the day I have finally reached the point I never thought I was going to.
So July be expecting a fiesta of epic proportions to celebrate, if that's okay with the parentals. But I need some celebrating the fact that Henry is GONEEE. And sorry to say this Henry, but I won't really miss you.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Crossing Fingers and Toes
Today marks another ultrasound for this little girl. I'm especially nervous about this one. Not because I don't know what to expect, because I do, but because Henry has been acting a bit strange the past week and a half and I am hoping to get some answers today.
My leg has started to get a little bigger than it has been. My leg could be swollen because I really have not been resting it or elevating it when I get home. But it's not just that it's swollen. There almost seems to be a pulse in my leg where I can almost feel the blood going through. Or maybe that's not the right explanation. There are small waves of uncomfortableness, or pain that goes through sometimes that I don't quite know why it's doing that.
So today we find out what is going on. I find out if I'm stopping the blood thinners. I find out what the next step is. I find out if my bike riding has caused more harm then good. I find out if Henry has grown or shrunk. My hope is for the latter. And after an emotional draining doctor's visit, I get to go into work and work with people that will be able to cheer me up. Nice to look forward to you know?
My leg has started to get a little bigger than it has been. My leg could be swollen because I really have not been resting it or elevating it when I get home. But it's not just that it's swollen. There almost seems to be a pulse in my leg where I can almost feel the blood going through. Or maybe that's not the right explanation. There are small waves of uncomfortableness, or pain that goes through sometimes that I don't quite know why it's doing that.
So today we find out what is going on. I find out if I'm stopping the blood thinners. I find out what the next step is. I find out if my bike riding has caused more harm then good. I find out if Henry has grown or shrunk. My hope is for the latter. And after an emotional draining doctor's visit, I get to go into work and work with people that will be able to cheer me up. Nice to look forward to you know?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
There Really Isn't a Dull Moment With You
A good family friend said the above quote to me this past Sunday when I told him about cutting my finger with the bread knife. He sort of laughed at me because he knew about Henry and this whole inside problems
That quote however perfectly embodies my life this afternoon.
After getting my blood drawn and being told I was not needed at work tonight, I realized what a beautiful day it was. I did not want to do the whole exercise thing without anyone home, ya know in case I get hurt, so I figured now that Mom was home, I could go for a little bike ride. Because it's beautiful ya know? WELP, in preparations for said bike ride, and to ease my mother's mind, I decided to make a little note on my hand.
I thought this would ease her mind a little, because in case anything WERE to happen to me, at least the EMTs would know that 1. I was on blood thinners and 2. That number could be called to help a girl out.
Overall it felt GREAT exercising again (first real time since the whole adventure began) although my legs KILLED after. You know when you live in the woods/suburbs when you go by roadkill which completely grossed me out. Luckily I was on a bike this time and not running by which I have done as well. I had to walk the bike up the hill. If you have ever been to my house, you would understand.
That quote however perfectly embodies my life this afternoon.
After getting my blood drawn and being told I was not needed at work tonight, I realized what a beautiful day it was. I did not want to do the whole exercise thing without anyone home, ya know in case I get hurt, so I figured now that Mom was home, I could go for a little bike ride. Because it's beautiful ya know? WELP, in preparations for said bike ride, and to ease my mother's mind, I decided to make a little note on my hand.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Long Live the Walls We Crashed Through I've Had the Time of My Life With You
Thank you.
No two simple worlds that contain more gratitude and emotion than my family or I can even begin to express. I can't speak for my family, but I can for me. And I can honestly say those two small English words can not begin to cover the gratefulness I could like to share with the people in my life.
As most of you know, or anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me, this year has been a very trying time. Go back many entries to the very first post, and as you continue to read this blog, you will dive into a terrified girl's world. Yes, I was over dramatic at times, but when I was down, I felt the hits kept coming.
Three months after this crazy journey began, I'm still not completely cured and do not know if I ever will be one hundred percent back to how I was. But I'm getting treated and better than I felt at the end of December.
But I wanted to take time not to update about silly blood work, or doctor's visits. I wanted to thank you. The person sitting at your computer reading this.
Throughout this journey, I do not know what I would have done without the support of my family, friends, people who love my parents that don't really know me. I have gotten cards, emails, text messages, posts, phone calls, visits and so much more well wishes that it literally shocked me. I always knew I was loved but this tough road proved it; I have some great people on my side.
The support is what got me through most of those early days. I became a hermit. Ashamed of what I was going through and at a loss of words to convey the seriousness of it all. When I was at a low, often one of you brought me back with a kind message that had been passed along. Happy/grateful tears almost always emerged. Ask my parents. I was a blubbering baby.
Speaking of, my two solid supports. Mom and Dad. They have been with me through it all, my rocks. I have not seen them cry once, and yet they have been there to wipe my tears away and provide a never ending hug. When I wanted to quit, they wouldn't let me and knowing they were by my side helped me continue. I know this whole thing has not been a walk in the park for them, I have been a pain in the ass a lot, have been unnecessarily mean due to frustration and the fact that they were there for me to take it out on. And yet they stayed next to me.
Mom and Dad, I love you more then you know and owe my sanity to you. I promise to not forget this when you guys get older. I owe you tons.
To my friends, near and far, thank you. Thank you for taking me out. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. Thank you for dealing with me when Henry flairs up. Thanks for getting me food. Even if it means getting yelled at by Meggie. Thank you for doing things for me when I was incapable of it. Thanks for listening and trying to understand. Thanks for the out of state visits and surprises. Thanks especially for just being you when I needed normality in my life.
This may seem like a final post to this blog, but it's not. I love writing, and sharing my writing with others. And let's face it, Henry and the insides have a lot of explaining to do. Once I'm off these silly blood thinners, that's when the real fun and tests begin. And while it's not going to be pretty, I hope you sometimes check back to see how this crazy roller coaster journey I'm on is going. I promise it won't be boring.
But I wanted to thank you all: my parents, brother, Nana, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, the Woodmont family, family friends, my friends, Mom and Dad's coworkers, bosses, coworkers, people who barely know me, and anyone who I may have accidentally forgot, thank you EVERYONE for your support and well wishes.
Thank you.
Those two simple words that I don't feel like can even begin to show my appreciation to all of you.
P.S. The title is from Long Live by Taylor Swift. Go check it out.
No two simple worlds that contain more gratitude and emotion than my family or I can even begin to express. I can't speak for my family, but I can for me. And I can honestly say those two small English words can not begin to cover the gratefulness I could like to share with the people in my life.
As most of you know, or anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me, this year has been a very trying time. Go back many entries to the very first post, and as you continue to read this blog, you will dive into a terrified girl's world. Yes, I was over dramatic at times, but when I was down, I felt the hits kept coming.
Three months after this crazy journey began, I'm still not completely cured and do not know if I ever will be one hundred percent back to how I was. But I'm getting treated and better than I felt at the end of December.
But I wanted to take time not to update about silly blood work, or doctor's visits. I wanted to thank you. The person sitting at your computer reading this.
Throughout this journey, I do not know what I would have done without the support of my family, friends, people who love my parents that don't really know me. I have gotten cards, emails, text messages, posts, phone calls, visits and so much more well wishes that it literally shocked me. I always knew I was loved but this tough road proved it; I have some great people on my side.
The support is what got me through most of those early days. I became a hermit. Ashamed of what I was going through and at a loss of words to convey the seriousness of it all. When I was at a low, often one of you brought me back with a kind message that had been passed along. Happy/grateful tears almost always emerged. Ask my parents. I was a blubbering baby.
Speaking of, my two solid supports. Mom and Dad. They have been with me through it all, my rocks. I have not seen them cry once, and yet they have been there to wipe my tears away and provide a never ending hug. When I wanted to quit, they wouldn't let me and knowing they were by my side helped me continue. I know this whole thing has not been a walk in the park for them, I have been a pain in the ass a lot, have been unnecessarily mean due to frustration and the fact that they were there for me to take it out on. And yet they stayed next to me.
Mom and Dad, I love you more then you know and owe my sanity to you. I promise to not forget this when you guys get older. I owe you tons.
To my friends, near and far, thank you. Thank you for taking me out. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. Thank you for dealing with me when Henry flairs up. Thanks for getting me food. Even if it means getting yelled at by Meggie. Thank you for doing things for me when I was incapable of it. Thanks for listening and trying to understand. Thanks for the out of state visits and surprises. Thanks especially for just being you when I needed normality in my life.
This may seem like a final post to this blog, but it's not. I love writing, and sharing my writing with others. And let's face it, Henry and the insides have a lot of explaining to do. Once I'm off these silly blood thinners, that's when the real fun and tests begin. And while it's not going to be pretty, I hope you sometimes check back to see how this crazy roller coaster journey I'm on is going. I promise it won't be boring.
But I wanted to thank you all: my parents, brother, Nana, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, the Woodmont family, family friends, my friends, Mom and Dad's coworkers, bosses, coworkers, people who barely know me, and anyone who I may have accidentally forgot, thank you EVERYONE for your support and well wishes.
Thank you.
Those two simple words that I don't feel like can even begin to show my appreciation to all of you.
P.S. The title is from Long Live by Taylor Swift. Go check it out.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Ohhhh Henry
Tomorrow is a doctors appointment. Dun dun dun.
Actually not really, because I'm going to see Dr. I (I think that's the nickname) and contrary to my first impression of him, I enjoy him because he gives me actual information. So tomorrow is just a follow up visit from the other appointment I had when I first started my steroids.
I'm not nervous about this appointment; I'm in fact hoping he tells me I can start weening off the steroids even more, but I doubt it. That's the part I'm afraid of. When I stop taking steroids. I don't know if it means I'm going to go back tot he way things were or if I'm actually getting better with this medicine. So cross your fingers and toes kids.
Henry hurts a little today. I have been working a lot which is totally fine and exercise is encouraged in the articles I have read. But he does hurt, probably also has something to do with the shin splints I think I have. Now I'm no doctor but my shins have been KILLING me. Tomorrow is my day off on top of the doctor's visit so I'm hoping to just chilllllllllllll all day.
And tomorrow I plan on writing about some wonderful books I have been reading. Or the ones I have always loved. Also, I love when I get back to check this thing and see comments. They make me smile, a lot.
Actually not really, because I'm going to see Dr. I (I think that's the nickname) and contrary to my first impression of him, I enjoy him because he gives me actual information. So tomorrow is just a follow up visit from the other appointment I had when I first started my steroids.
I'm not nervous about this appointment; I'm in fact hoping he tells me I can start weening off the steroids even more, but I doubt it. That's the part I'm afraid of. When I stop taking steroids. I don't know if it means I'm going to go back tot he way things were or if I'm actually getting better with this medicine. So cross your fingers and toes kids.
Henry hurts a little today. I have been working a lot which is totally fine and exercise is encouraged in the articles I have read. But he does hurt, probably also has something to do with the shin splints I think I have. Now I'm no doctor but my shins have been KILLING me. Tomorrow is my day off on top of the doctor's visit so I'm hoping to just chilllllllllllll all day.
And tomorrow I plan on writing about some wonderful books I have been reading. Or the ones I have always loved. Also, I love when I get back to check this thing and see comments. They make me smile, a lot.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Gernadeeee Whistle
Hello my name is Jennifer, and I have a blood clot.
Hiiiii Jen.
I have been talking a lot about my blood clot recently. Telling people who may not know, or just telling my friends the real truth about what has been going on. Plus, Shannon and I decided yesterday that we would name my blood clot Henry. Not that there is any real rhyme or reason for that one but he's Henry now.
Henry has been acting up a lot this weekend but it's almost to be expected. I walked around a lot yesterday at the parade and was out late on Saturday as well. So it's swollen today and in pain after being on it all day today as well. I don't know if Henry is going to constantly act up always when I over exert myself but I guess that's why this is a learning experience.
Big East championship game....what can I say. I LOVE my team so much. Of course I was watching the game while we were out trying to keep my composure because everyone would have made fun of me if I had gone all out. It was a good game though and I'm so glad we won. Now onto the BIG DANCE <3
Tomorrow I'm staying off my leg the whole day. Or at least trying to so Henry can recuperate.
Hiiiii Jen.
I have been talking a lot about my blood clot recently. Telling people who may not know, or just telling my friends the real truth about what has been going on. Plus, Shannon and I decided yesterday that we would name my blood clot Henry. Not that there is any real rhyme or reason for that one but he's Henry now.
Henry has been acting up a lot this weekend but it's almost to be expected. I walked around a lot yesterday at the parade and was out late on Saturday as well. So it's swollen today and in pain after being on it all day today as well. I don't know if Henry is going to constantly act up always when I over exert myself but I guess that's why this is a learning experience.
Big East championship game....what can I say. I LOVE my team so much. Of course I was watching the game while we were out trying to keep my composure because everyone would have made fun of me if I had gone all out. It was a good game though and I'm so glad we won. Now onto the BIG DANCE <3
Tomorrow I'm staying off my leg the whole day. Or at least trying to so Henry can recuperate.
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