Long Live the Walls We Crashed Through I've Had the Time of My Life With You

Thank you.

No two simple worlds that contain more gratitude and emotion than my family or I can even begin to express.  I can't speak for my family, but I can for me.  And I can honestly say those two small English words can not begin to cover the gratefulness I could like to share with the people in my life. 

As most of you know, or anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me, this year has been a very trying time.  Go back many entries to the very first post, and as you continue to read this blog, you will dive into a terrified girl's world.  Yes, I was over dramatic at times, but when I was down, I felt the hits kept coming.

Three months after this crazy journey began, I'm still not completely cured and do not know if I ever will be one hundred percent back to how I was.  But I'm getting treated and better than I felt at the end of December.

But I wanted to take time not to update about silly blood work, or doctor's visits.  I wanted to thank you.  The person sitting at your computer reading this.

Throughout this journey, I do not know what I would have done without the support of my family, friends, people who love my parents that don't really know me.  I have gotten cards, emails, text messages, posts, phone calls, visits and so much more well wishes that it literally shocked me.  I always knew I was loved but this tough road proved it; I have some great people on my side.

The support is what got me through most of those early days.  I became a hermit.  Ashamed of what I was going through and at a loss of words to convey the seriousness of it all.  When I was at a low, often one of you brought me back with a kind message that had been passed along.  Happy/grateful tears almost always emerged.  Ask my parents.  I was a blubbering baby.

Speaking of, my two solid supports.  Mom and Dad.  They have been with me through it all, my rocks.  I have not seen them cry once, and yet they have been there to wipe my tears away and provide a never ending hug.  When I wanted to quit, they wouldn't let me and knowing they were by my side helped me continue.  I know this whole thing has not been a walk in the park for them, I have been a pain in the ass a lot, have been unnecessarily mean due to frustration and the fact that they were there for me to take it out on.  And yet they stayed next to me.

Mom and Dad, I love you more then you know and owe my sanity to you.  I promise to not forget this when you guys get older.  I owe you tons.

To my friends, near and far, thank you.  Thank you for taking me out.  Thank you for making me laugh and smile.  Thank you for dealing with me when Henry flairs up.  Thanks for getting me food.  Even if it means getting yelled at by Meggie.  Thank you for doing things for me when I was incapable of it.  Thanks for listening and trying to understand.  Thanks for the out of state visits and surprises.  Thanks especially for just being you when I needed normality in my life.

This may seem like a final post to this blog, but it's not.  I love writing, and sharing my writing with others.  And let's face it, Henry and the insides have a lot of explaining to do.  Once I'm off these silly blood thinners, that's when the real fun and tests begin.  And while it's not going to be pretty, I hope you sometimes check back to see how this crazy roller coaster journey I'm on is going.  I promise it won't be boring.


But I wanted to thank you all:  my parents, brother, Nana, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, the Woodmont family, family friends, my friends, Mom and Dad's coworkers, bosses, coworkers, people who barely know me, and anyone who I may have accidentally forgot, thank you EVERYONE for your support and well wishes.


Thank you.


Those two simple words that I don't feel like can even begin to show my appreciation to all of you.


P.S. The title is from Long Live by Taylor Swift.  Go check it out.

Hide and Seek.....Or At Least That's What You Call It

I have never been more proud of one of my best friends.  She did not think she would have been strong enough today, but she proved she is one of the strongest people I know.  I know you read this, I don't want to publish your name, but I love you.  I could not be more proud of how you handled yourself during such a difficult time.....in fact that goes to your whole family.  I love you guys more then you know and am here no matter what.

After the services today, we went to a late lunch at Fridays.  Now there was the usual group of us, plus my friends mom.  Due to the crappy day, we decided a drink was in order.  Of course I had the difficult decision of having a salad or a drink due to my INR levels.  And I know that I should not have either one but the fact of the matter is my INR is messed up from the steroids so I felt like I could make the decision.  The drink won over, but out of EVERYONE at the table, I was the one who was carded.  Now I don't mind because I have been told I look like I just graduated from high school but of course that is my type of life....being the one from the table to get carded.  Meggie said it was because he wanted to make sure I was legal, but that's just because we were all giggling so much about being carded.

Today we also giggled about the fact that I had two books in my purse, but in my defense, I had taken one from Meg to read.  But I'm the type of girl who gets the big purses because I keep my books in there, not because I fill it with makeup or other girlie things.  Before this whole fiasco with my stomach, I used to carry snacks in their as well.  I am not a typical girl.

I need my readers to help me with an important decision that may change things a bit.  Weird that I am turning to everyone here, but I kind of want some input on what others would think.

First is my mom showed me a tiny article in Family Circle advertising a writing contest.  It has always been a dream of mine to publish something, mostly a book but at this point in time anything.  Far reaching I know, but I just have a strong desire to do so for some reason.  Anyway, I wrote this short story during my senior year in college that I had difficulty writing it because it is about a group of women who mean the world to me.  I have always had the itch to write a book about them, if I were to write anything, and this story for one of my classes was the perfect start.  Now the story was shared, and some tears were shred but I kind of want to submit this story, just to see if anything would happen.  Of course I will need to make sure they agree, but I want to try, even though it terrifies me.  I pose this question to you guys, especially because some of those amazing women read this, should I try to submit this story of mine?

One slight snag may be that the story that needs to be submitted has to be a work of fiction.  My story is non-fiction.  Or creative non-fiction....but some may not know that after reading it.  I'm so confused, and so insecure about the whole writing thing.  This blog made me nervous at first, but the more feedback I got from family and friends about my writing encouraged me to continue.


As of now, I can't go to the parade on Sunday.  I'm hoping this fun fact will change tomorrow when I ask Tommy if he can switch with me.  Seeing as he is an Italian, I don't see the need to go to the St Patrick's Day parade but he would be the type that would want to go crazy just to do it.  I'm hoping he can throw me a bone, even though I have asked way too much from him in the past few months.


I'm also nervous about the next few days at work because I think I'm going to be standing still a lot and that has not been good for my leg in the past.  But we are going to see how I do, and cross your fingers it's okay.


No word from the primary doctor about my freaking ultrasound on Friday.  I just don't understand HOW they can let me sit here and freak out about my blood clot for a whole weekend and not call me the first thing this morning.  I called her after the services to ask for the results, at which the time was close to five, and have not heard back from her.  Once again great job doctors, I'm just shocked why people don't really like you.