Let's Make a Deal February.

I've been neglecting this lovely blog because I have been busy with my birthday, but also because I don't know if my life is interesting enough for people to want to find out without all the doctors appointments and news like I had a few days ago.  Plus hearing about my breakdowns is no fun, so I've been trying to prevent people from those.

But my bestest requested I update this thing so here we go, an overview of a birthday that I semi wish I could get a redo of when I feel better.  Friday, the actual birthday, I had a visitor which for those who read this on a regular basis know I absolutely love.  Sara came over with Diary Queen Blizzards and we got to catch up on what was going on at work but also on life.  I had a lot of fun with her and I have realized that when people do come over, they love sitting on the wheelchair because most people don't sit on them often.  I don't even think it's that comfortable but hey, each his own.  I can not wait to go back to work to be able to see Sara more often.  Seriously I have missed everyone there so freaking much.

Friday night the parentals and I went to the Olive Garden and huge surprise there was a wait; please note that sarcasm but the wait was due to the fact it was Friday at 6 at night.  I was looking forward to this shrimp dish I had a few months ago but I guess it was one of those limited time only things which made me wicked sad because I had been dreaming about it for days.  But I had these lasagna rolls which was pretty good, and of course the amazing salad.  I could eat that salad all the time if I had the right stomach for it.  Stuffing my face with all that food though made me feel really sick and while I still went to Louie and Pam's for Pam's belated birthday celebrations, I put on my happy face for most of it  because my tummy really did hurt me for the whole night.  I did enjoy myself a lot.  Not only did I get to see everyone, but Louie was amazingly funny and even though my stomach was in pain, I laughed so hard that I absolutely loved it.  PS Meg had tears in her eyes from laughing so much which is my favorite thing.

My best friends came down from Mass on Saturday for my official birthday celebration.  We went to Greg's deck hockey game followed by take out dinner and getting ready for the Wolf.  Now I promised I would be honest in this thing which hopefully won't hurt anyone's feelings.  Before I start that though, I just want to say that I had a lot of fun at the Wolf.  I was happy with everyone who was able to come out to celebrate my birthday and I truly did enjoy  being there with everyone.  However, if I'm going to be honest with myself, my stomach hurt most of the night, my knee started to get stiff after a little bit of dancing and all I wanted to do was go home to go to bed.  Awesome symptoms for a person's 24th huh?  But like I said I got to sit and chat with friends, got to watch all the bad fashion choices from a wedding that was going on, and even got to dance a little.  I was upset that all I had to drink all night was water.  Even though I had clearance to have a drink, and asked my favorite bartender if he would make one for me, I didn't want to chance my stomach being in more pain than it was.  So next time I can not wait for that drink.

Alanna and Jill tried some Louie's Lunch after closing time, which they both loved, then got the amazing diner on Sunday.  We met up with Meggie to have brunch or maybe they had brunch while I had french fries with their amazing ranch dressing.  I'm not one for most breakfast food unless I'm really in the mood for it which Sunday I really was not.  Unfortunately Jill and Alanna left shortly after we returned from brunch.  Seeing them made my birthday so much better because I really do miss them a lot.  They were able to make me laugh throughout the whole time they were here,  even if I felt awful which unfortunately was most of the time.

Nothing ends a birthday weekend like a breakdown and last night was no exception.  I cried more then I had in weeks and I hate that I have been crying this much throughout this whole thing.  I have had a lot of thing pent up inside of me, everything from concerns that I will never be officially better to pain that I may not have told my parents.  Well last night I told everything to my dad and just cried.  I let him know I didn't like certain doctors I have, I told him about my concerns that my stomach will not get better, I cried just because.  Throughout this whole thing, I have not wanted to burden anyone with how I am feeling.  I told him how even though I had fun on Saturday night, throughout this whole thing I hate that I lie to people when they ask if I'm okay because I don't want them to feel bad for them.  I cried to dad because I don't want the pity when I tell people I don't feel well at all when I'm asked.  He told me of ways I could answer and that as my friends they just want what is best for me.  Never would I have thought I would have cried more on the closing of the weekend I celebrated my birthday, but my number one concern right now is to get better.  Dad says he has a feeling I'm going to get better, but I don't know....it's hard to stay positive after a month of nothing getting fixed.

Today has been up and down. Dad suggested I start a bland diet so I can see if my stomach starts to feel better which means nothing that I really love to eat or what I am craving but I'm willing to keep my mind open.  We went to Stop and Shop to get different things for little old me and as we were walking around the store I honestly felt like I was a ghost of myself.  It was really weird feeling that I often get before I pass out but I didn't have the feeling that I would pass out....just walking around feeling as light as could be.

I got to take a long nap today which I hope does not mess with my sleep schedule.  And by take a nap I mean I was falling asleep just watching tv.  My life is super exciting always.  My left leg has been stiff and has a weird feeling since yesterday but I'm hoping the elevating of the leg will make the swelling from all the activity of the weekend go away.  Unfortunately my right leg is kinda cramping now which I have already told Dad.  I promised to try to be more honest with him so I didn't have a cry fest again anytime soon.  When he touched my right leg, it hurt so now we are hoping it does not swell and it's just silly cramping that has nothing to do with blood clots because I would cry for weeks if I get a blood clot in my right leg now.

Pending of the snow storm these next two days, I will be starting work again on Wednesday.  That was another thing I freaked out about last night but Dad told me that the doctor would not have cleared me if I was not ready.  Mom and Dad have been an amazing rock throughout this.  I would not want to deal with me during this whole thing and there they have been, even if I don't deserve it sometimes.

There is the update.  Now that I know this is in demand at times, I will post more often I suppose.  Plus, it's therapeutic at times to get everything out of my mind.