Late Night is Not Good for Thinking

I'm scared.

I can't fall asleep tonight and tomorrow I have an appointment at a new doctor.  Every creak or sound in my body I'm exaggerating to something bigger and it's not letting me get a piece of mind enough to get a good night sleep.

Essentially I just want to feel better. I would never wish this on my worse enemy because it just leaves you hurting and helpless. I can barely do anything by myself, and the only time I feel happy is when someone is home, and I can hear whoever walking up the stairs towards my room to check on me. I look forward to when my mom crawls into bed with me to just lay down and talk about her day or when my dad sits by my bedside to rub my back.  But I would give that away in a heart beat if everything I have been dealing with the past two weeks go away.  This blood clot has been here a week and a half but I had a stomach bug before that, which still has it's remaining effects to this day.

I strongly believe that the most dangerous time for me is at night when I can't fall asleep.  I daydream bad things and that's not good for me. I'm a worrier to begin with, I do not need to add to this problem.  I know I could easily call my dad and he would talk me down right now, Mom too, but they have work early in the morning. This already is taking such a toll on them, I don't want to be even more of a burden.

This is just a really silly post of me being scared before the doctors and not being able to fall asleep.  I know they are going to tell me something that will fix me. But even if I'm turning 24 at the end of the month, I am still a very scared little girl, just wanting to get better already.