Cause it Led Me Straight to This

Have you ever wondered how you have gotten to certain places in your life?  Like how things can change one hundred percent because of some decision  you made?

Last night I was talking about this with someone, how if they had made different decisions and if things had worked out the way he was imagining, then life would be completely different now.  This idea is very similar to one of my favorite songs by Darius Rucker.  It's called This and I highly recommend listening to it.


Anyway, this year has, to put it lightly, sucked.  Or at least it was.  Six months into it, and it's finally changing.  I never imagined that I would go to sleep with a huge smile on my face every night, but that's what has been happening.  My dad said I deserve this, that I deserve to be happy.  And yet, I still feel the need to almost pinch myself every day because I don't think that this is real life.  I mean I understand that I deserve to be happy, but when things finally work out for me?  That I do not expect at all.


Okay, I'm just rambling and I'm sure this makes zero sense.  Basically I do not want to spell out exactly what's going on because I do not want to jinx it.  But the happiness that I have been talking about? Yup, it's still there and my smile is getting bigger and bigger.


Even though I have the big smile on my face, there is still some frustration on the medical front.  Dr. P still is not my favorite what so ever.  She once again stressed me out when I was told my INR levels and quite frankly, it sucks to worry about it even more now that the trip to Washington is quickly approaching.  Strangely enough, I'm more frustrated about not getting my blood work results back that will tell me what medicine I will be on for my colotis.  It's more annoying then anything; I have been home for about a month now from the hospital and still nothing.  I guess the bright side is the fact that I wasn't expected to even be on the medicine yet because I was not supposed to know what my stomach issues were.  Maybe I need to focus on that and know that, like I said before, all of this is happening for a reason.