It's eight oclock at night and I'm ready for bed. Seriously can it be tomorrow morning already? PLEASE. I can not wait until I get to see my dogs, to shower, to sleep in my own bed. To just be home.
Contrary to the fact that Dr. I promised me yesterday and today that I was going home today, I am still here, by myself because I was being a complete bitch when I found out I had to stay here.
Today I went to get my ultrasound which was fine because I have done that before. However, I got so upset because when I was done they put me in the hall to get transferred. That was at two in the afternoon. I was facing the Mental Health Center, sitting there listening to other people get out of their rooms and be able to go back to their rooms. Nobody was sharing information with me, nobody said two words to me. I was sitting there for close to an hour, forgotten by the staff. Seriously, I was forgotten. At one point I hear them butchering my last night and I turn around on the stretcher/bed and look at them and they go oh yeah you are going upstairs someone will be right with you. The techs who gave me the ultrasound saw me still there after they helped another patient and they were like what are you still doing here. Then apologized because even though they put me on the list or whatever to get transferred, it didn't really record.
So straight from there I went to get the colonoscopy done. Boy was that a blast in a glass. I was sitting there forever crying because I was forgotten and left with my thoughts when I was terrified. But I got the drugs and it happened I guess. I def do have colitis, which means Dr. I has to figure out a way to recovery for me.
As I was getting out of the drug state, I thought my friend from work was helping moving my bed along. Dad told me I couldn't have been more wrong with that one. Oh well it was the drugs and Tara died laughing via text when I told her.
When we got back to the room, and I found out I had to stay, I didn't want to be near anyone. I shut down. I broke down. I was tired and being told one thing and then it being taken back. In my head I understand why they want me to stay, I really do. Better safe then sorry. But try telling that to a person who has not felt good since Sunday, who has been at the hospital since Monday, and just wants to go home and shower. So I really was a bitch and did not say two words to my parents who have been so supportive to me throughout this whole thing. I didn't mean to, it just happened.
Anyway, I was able to eat food again which tasted good, but has left my stomach all jumbly. Like I said I'm just ready for bed so tomorrow comes so I can go home. I already have plans for tomorrow night.....to go to a baseball game. All I want to do is get back to normal and if I couldn't start that tonight with laying low at home, I'll lay low here tonight and be able to go to the game tomorrow night. It's not like it is a rager; the games are normally really boring but I really do want to go.
Thanks for all the well wishes and support. I'm sorry I am not text messaging the people I promised but when all your hopes were crushed after going through something you didn't want to in the first place, you don't really want to talk to people anymore. I'm trying to be strong but I've decided tonight will be my pity party thing. And tomorrow I'll put on my smile. I promise
No comments:
Post a Comment